Fornication

[Georgie905]

Hi guys I am new, joined to ask a question...
I am divorced ... Been married for 15 years, on the 16th year she said she wants a divorce, I gave her the divorce because she is a narcissist. After the divorce she did not want to move out, so continues to stay with me and our 3 teens. So I asked if you wanted to stay then why divorce and shame me, because there is no problem between you and me...

She said .. because I don't want to be your wife I want to be your friend... And now that we are not married you cant tell me what to do anymore...?!
So that's my story... I just left it be like this cos I want the kids to finish university, I do my work and she does hers... and we both see to the kids ...she sleeps in the master room and I in the back room.

The issue is I don't want to get married ever again...I made a mistake marrying a narcissist and I don't ever want to give any woman that kind of power ever again....

What I want is I want to just have one relationship with one christian woman who is ok not to marry and not to have kids, where she has her own life but she and me can have itimacy when needed and all the going out stuff and companionship.

I don't want inappropriate content nor masturbation as a fix to my trouble.

I want to know is this ok....I know many ppl define this as sexual immorality but what is immmoral ...food is an appetite and sex too ... Would you like to beg every time you need to eat...
That's how I felt for many years beg to have sex ...and even now as I am alone ...I need to have sex but stopped because as a Christian we have to be married .. I am stuck.

 

[Will Joseph]

Fornication might seem innocent but it's not. An obvious issue is that the bible speaks against it.

There are some other issues. What would stop the woman from marrying another man? There is no reason to believe that an unmarried person is more entitled to sex than a married person. Heck, a girlfriend can leave or dump you at any time for a rich man.

There's also an issue of disease. What if she has sex with someone else and gets a virus? Then you are prone to that virus when you have sex with her. Fornication allows her to have sex with other unmarried men, and can leave you susceptible to diseases. Diseases are not any less threatening than they were in the past: just look at covid19. Condoms can break, don't always cover all infected skin, and etc.

 

[dms1972]

She said .. because I don't want to be your wife I want to be your friend... And now that we are not married you cant tell me what to do anymore...?!

Thats absurd, if she asked for the divorce, there is no obligation IMO on you to be her "friend" - only to be civil with your ex. She sounds like she has some histronic traits perhaps rather than being a narrcissist, which she could get help with if she wanted to from a good christian psychotherapist, and you both might benefit from counselling.

What you are looking for as an alternative however sounds like an adolescent relationship, not a mature one.

I think you both should seek help from an experienced relationship counsellor.