Forgiving Others

[Christsfreeservant]

Saturday, December 25, 2010, 4:26 a.m. – When I woke this morning, this song was playing in my mind:

Praise, My Soul, the King of Heaven / Henry F. Lyte / John Goss

Praise, my soul, the King of heaven,
To His feet thy tribute bring;
Ransomed, healed, restored, forgiven,
Who, like me, His praise should sing?
Alleluia! Alleluia!
Praise the everlasting King!

Praise Him for His grace and favor
To all people in distress;
Praise Him, still the same forever,
Slow to chide, and swift to bless.
Alleluia! Alleluia!
Glorious in His faithfulness.

I’ve just recently gone through a situation in my life where I was called upon to confront sin in someone I love and to forgive someone who had hurt me deeply. By God’s grace I did forgive and will continue to forgive, also by God’s grace. What concerned me most is that this was someone who kept falling into the same pit of sin over and over again. I knew that there had to be a root cause for why he kept going back to that same pit, so I asked him if he would examine his heart before the Lord to see if there were any roots of unforgiveness or bitterness that might be sending him continually back to that same hole.

The Lord reminded me, in the process, of the pits in my own life that I had fallen into over the years, and how he had lifted me out of them. I recalled going through a process of revival and of reading a book called “The Bondage Breaker,” and how I had gone through a process of examining my heart before the Lord and how he had shown me then that I was under the influence of demonic oppression, but that how the Lord had delivered me, especially as I forgave each person in my life who had hurt me, and even those who I perceived had hurt me but had done me no wrong, namely Jesus.

So, my loved one decided to go through the same process of confession and forgiveness so that he could be cleansed and renewed in his faith and commitment to serve our Lord. Praise Jesus!

God is giving me much love and grace and is increasing my determination to live a holy life, as well. I pray that I and those I love will continually walk in humble obedience daily to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ; to walk uprightly before Him; and to forgive as he forgives. Lord Jesus, only you can do this amazing work of grace in our hearts, amen!

The Lord encouraged me much yesterday as he kept filling my mind with songs and hymns of praise to Him, of deliverance, of salvation, etc. throughout the day. He, as well, has been filling my heart with his peace and joy.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and know my anxious thoughts. See what wicked way is in me and lead me in the way everlasting.”

Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening – correct, rebuke, encourage, instruct and train me in righteousness, I pray. Order up my day for me today, I pray in Jesus’ name. I read Luke 17:1-10:

Sin, Faith, Duty
1 Jesus said to his disciples: “Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. 2 It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. 3 So watch yourselves.
“If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. 4 If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”

5 The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”

6 He replied, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.

7 “Suppose one of you had a servant plowing or looking after the sheep. Would he say to the servant when he comes in from the field, ‘Come along now and sit down to eat’? 8 Would he not rather say, ‘Prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink’? 9 Would he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do? 10 So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.’”

My Understanding: I am always amazed at how God knows exactly where I am reading in scripture and how he often even plans out my life’s experiences to coordinate with where I am reading so that he speaks to my heart the words I need to hear for that day that apply to the specific situations I am going through at that moment.

Today was another of those days as I read these words in Luke 17 and realized how they were speaking right to the issue of what I was writing about here in my journal.

Jesus takes sin seriously and we should, too. We should view sin as he does and we should have the same attitude toward sin that he does, too. There are four main aspects of this passage of scripture related to this subject of sin, confession and forgiveness that I would like to examine:

1. Those who lead others to sin – Luke 17:1-3a
2. A brother who sins – Luke 17:3
3. Forgiveness of that brother – Luke 17:3-4
4. Our own attitudes of heart – Luke 17:5-10

First of all, this passage of scripture addresses the thought of those who lead others to sin. It is bad enough to sin ourselves, but how much worse it is if we lead others into sin. The call is for us to “watch ourselves,” so that, not only do we not fall into sin and rebellion but that we do not lead others to follow the same sinful path we have chosen.

Secondly, the writer here addresses what to do if a brother sins. It says we are to rebuke him. Now, other passages of scripture tell us how to do that – with humility, with gentleness, considering ourselves lest we also be tempted, etc., and with the goal to restore the person back to a right relationship with Jesus Christ. The rebuke is not for the purpose of a scolding or a slap on the wrist, and it is especially not for the purpose of giving the person a piece of our minds, but it is to offer the person the opportunity to see his sin and to have the chance to change his course. This should always be our goal. And, we should be willing to stay the course with that person, too, to bring him back and to restore him.

Thirdly, we are called upon to forgive others who have sinned against us no matter how many times they sin against us. Here I have to continually remind myself of how God has forgiven me and that I am so unworthy, and that it is only by God’s grace that I have been set free, so I have no right to ever not forgive another person, because I have been forgiven so much! To forgive someone means to not hold it against them. It does not mean we just give them a pat on the back and say, “It’s ok,” especially if there has been a pattern of sin that must be dealt with. Forgiveness means we don’t want to get even and we are willing to restore that person, but it also does not walk away if there is any way we can help bring that person back into a right relationship with Jesus Christ. To forgive as Jesus forgives can sometimes require that we see the person through to victory, as well. This is not always possible, though.

Lastly, we must examine the attitudes of our own hearts. First of all was the admonition to “watch yourselves,” which means to keep guard of our own hearts, minds, speech, behavior, and attitudes. Then, we are called upon to forgive even if another person sins against us over and over again. We are to forgive them as many times as they sin against us. Next, we are reminded to “increase our faith.” This is especially needed when we are the ones caught in sin or repetitive sin and we need to have the faith to believe that God can deliver us from the control of and the bondage to that sin once and for all. We also need it as the ones who have been sinned against in order to have the faith to believe that God can heal, he can deliver, and he can restore those who are caught in habitual sin patterns of behavior and that they can be set free!

This last section speaks to the issue, I believe, of humility versus spiritual pride. This basically says that when we have done what the Lord has told us to do, we should say, “We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.” I think the reason for this is so that we don’t take pride in ourselves over another.

I know the pit God brought me out of, and I know I have no right to take pride in myself over another, because it is only by God’s grace that I am where I am in my spiritual journey. I would still be in that pit if it were not for God’s grace in lifting me out of that hole I had dug for myself. So, I am no better. I, too, am a sinner saved by grace, who is so thankful that God forgives me seven times a day if I need it. Lord, help me any time I might begin to take pride in myself above another or to think of myself more highly than I ought, to be reminded from where I came and the pit I was in when your love lifted me up and out and into your arms of grace and love and mercy.

Jesus Paid It All / Elvina M. Hall / John T. Grape
… your sins… they shall be as white as snow… Isaiah 1:18

…For nothing good have I
Whereby Thy grace to claim,
I’ll wash my garments white
In the blood of Calv’ry’s Lamb…

Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.

 

[Kalasin]

I have experienced the exact same thing actually. It was only last week that I made a thread on there about forgiveness and how I'd struggled to forgive someone for over a year. Within a few days, I went to church and prayed about this (for the fifth time) and God removed my bitterness.

The problem is, if I was ever to explain this process to a non-Christian, it would sound really arrogant, because people would just assume that I meant that I was a wonderful person, even if I explicitly stated that it was God who got me to that stage and not me, because they don't believe in God. Is this a problem you have encountered? How have you dealt with it? I don't really know how to discuss Christian stuff with my non-Christian friends, so I thought you might have some ideas, as you're clearly experiencing the same stuff as me.

Blessings!

 

[Christsfreeservant]

I have experienced the exact same thing actually. It was only last week that I made a thread on there about forgiveness and how I'd struggled to forgive someone for over a year. Within a few days, I went to church and prayed about this (for the fifth time) and God removed my bitterness.

The problem is, if I was ever to explain this process to a non-Christian, it would sound really arrogant, because people would just assume that I meant that I was a wonderful person, even if I explicitly stated that it was God who got me to that stage and not me, because they don't believe in God. Is this a problem you have encountered? How have you dealt with it? I don't really know how to discuss Christian stuff with my non-Christian friends, so I thought you might have some ideas, as you're clearly experiencing the same stuff as me.

Blessings!

Kalasin, we are all sinners and thus have a strong propensity towards sin, including the sin of unforgiveness. As believers in Jesus Christ, we are called upon to forgive, but we are also human and thus sometimes we give in to our flesh instead of listening to God and obeying him. So, if it takes us a year to forgive someone, then it is because we are not acting in obedience to God and probably because we have some other heart issues we need to deal with, as well.

When we refuse or find it difficult in our hearts to forgive others, we make a mockery of what Jesus did for us in dying on the cross for our sins, and we are also acting in pride, because at the root of it is a feeling that somehow we are better, whether we recognize that at the time or not. We may also be experiencing anger, hatred, a feeling of injustice, etc. that may also be at the root of our unforgiveness, and it could also be self-hatred, too, if we responded to another's actions toward us by sinning, and maybe we blame them even for our wrong responses.

There are cases when things were done to us as children, though, and we may not even realize that we stored up unforgiveness in our hearts. The hurts that are deep down inside us and not dealt with, though, will rear their ugly heads from time to time and we will respond in such a way that we know there is something wrong. I believe this needs to be dealt with by asking the Lord to dig deep down within our hearts and memories and to show us our hurts from the past and our unforgiveness that was not dealt with at the time, perhaps because of our age, and then allow the Holy Spirit to bring these things forward we may have suppressed, to give them to the Lord and to cry them out to him, and then to choose to forgive anyone and everyone who has hurt us and to allow the Holy Spirit to bring healing to our hearts.

I also believe forgiveness comes hard to us sometimes because we don't see ourselves as God sees us, i.e. we don't have a clear picture of where we were before he chose us and called us by His grace. So, when we are truly able to see ourselves through God's eyes and to see that we are only who we are and where we are in relation to him because of his grace, then we see that we have no right to not forgive others as God forgave us.

Let me add to this, though, what I believe I touched on in what the Lord gave me to write this morning, and that is that forgiving someone does not mean that you give that person the freedom to sin again. What I mean is that if someone has done something sinful toward you, you don't resubmit yourself or your children to that sin again. Jesus told the woman caught in adultery, "Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more." I believe that is the message, as well, that we need to give others who have sinned against us. We are given the charge in scripture to turn a sinner from his ways, to turn him back to the Lord, to restore him to a right relationship with God. Obviously we can't do this with everyone, but where possible, I believe this should be our approach to forgiveness, not just to say "Ok, you are forgiven," but to be part of that person's restoration to a right relationship with Jesus Christ, if possible, and if the person is willing. We can't force this process.

As far as talking with your non-Christian friends about this, I think even non-Christians understand the need for forgiveness. It is as much for ourselves as it is for the other person, because people who refuse to forgive end up developing physical problems, emotional problems, etc. because that unforgiveness weighs heavy on their hearts. So, I see no conflict in talking with non-Christians vs. talking with Christians about the subject of forgiveness. The Bible tells us that the worldly mind can't comprehend the things of the Spirit, so I am certain there are certain aspects of this subject that a non-believer might have difficulty with, but the need to forgive others is something all humans deal with whether they are believers or not.

Let me know if this has answered your questions. Thank you for asking and for sharing this with me. God bless!

 

[godisreal36]

I have experienced the exact same thing actually. It was only last week that I made a thread on there about forgiveness and how I'd struggled to forgive someone for over a year. Within a few days, I went to church and prayed about this (for the fifth time) and God removed my bitterness.

The problem is, if I was ever to explain this process to a non-Christian, it would sound really arrogant, because people would just assume that I meant that I was a wonderful person, even if I explicitly stated that it was God who got me to that stage and not me, because they don't believe in God. Is this a problem you have encountered? How have you dealt with it? I don't really know how to discuss Christian stuff with my non-Christian friends, so I thought you might have some ideas, as you're clearly experiencing the same stuff as me.

Blessings!

My mouth has offended many people. I'm not sure but would like to comment. I think we should always be careful as the bible says, talk to people with love, patience kindness and all else. If we think as we speak, we can say only things that we ouselves wouldn't be offended by, and this would help us i think. Love is the key when talking to others i think. I know what you mean, i too have offended people with how i said something. And this on-line texting, it makes it hard sometimes to determine what someone actually means. We can get confused easily when reading text, we may take others wrong or they may take us wrong. God is good, seek and you will find sister. Keep seeking until you find your answer.