Forgiveness

[squeeks]

I AM STRUGGLING WITH THIS. I HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH IT FOR AS LONG AS I COULD REMEMBER. I GUESS I PAY MORE ATTENTION TO IT NOW, BECAUSE ITS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL TEST MY WALK WITH GOD. MY FATHER (IF YOU CAN CALL HIM THAT) IS A DRUG ADDICT. THAT'S ALL HE CARES ABOUT. HE USED TO TRY TO HIDE IT, BUT HE DOESN'T ANYMORE. HE MAKES IT VERY WELL KNOWN WHEN HE NEEDS A HIT OF SOMETHING. FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF JUST A PERSON I HAVE GROWN TO HATE HIM. ALL HE DOES IS BEG AND ANNOY MY MOM. I SEE HIM AS A BURDEN AND SOMETIMES I WISH HE WOULD BE IN JAIL OR JUST GO AHEAD AND OVERDOSE ON WHATEVER KIND OF DRUG HE'S TAKING. I JUST WANT TO CUT HIM OUT OF MY LIFE, JUST RUN AWAY, MOVE AWAY INTO MY OWN PLACE AND HAVE NOTHING MORE TO DO WITH HIM. AS A CHRISTIAN I SEE SOMEONE WHO IS LOST. I KNOW THAT IT'S NOT HIM DOING THESE THINGS TO ME IT'S THE SPIRITS AND DEMONS THAT ARE BURDENING HIM RIGHT NOW. I KNOW THAT I SHOULD ENCOURAGE HIM TO GO TO CHURCH, I KNOW THAT I SHOULD PRAY FOR HIM. BUT I FEEL THAT HE DOESN'T DESERVE THAT, HE HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING FOR ME SO WHY SHOULD I JUST HELP HIM. I KNOW THAT IF I JUST RUN AWAY I LOSE THE BATTLE BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL. BUT IF I RUN THEN I WON'T BE TESTED BY THIS, BUT THEN IF I GET USED TO RUNNING AWAY FROM THESE THINGS THEN I WILL NEVER GROW IN JESUS CHRIST. I GUESS I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND THE PERSON PERSPECTIVE. I FEEL GUILTY ABOUT THINKING OF HIM LIKE I DO BECAUSE I AM HIS DAUGHTER, BUT THEN AREN'T I JUSTIFIED TO BE ANGRY WITH HIM LIKE I AM? AFTER ALL HE HAS PUT ME AND MY MOTHER THROUGH AREN'T I ALLOWED TO FEEL LIKE HE IS USELESS? ISN'T IT OKAY FOR ME TO FEEL ABANDONED BY HIM? DON'T I HAVE THE RIGHT TO FEEL NO LOVE TOWARDS HIM? I AM A NEW CHRISTIAN AND THIS IS ABOUT TO SLAP ME RIGHT OF THE PATH I WANT TO BE ON. SOMETIMES I FEEL THAT GOD HAS ABANDONED ME AS WELL. I FEEL LIKE HE CAN'T SEE ALL THAT IS GOING ON AROUND ME. WHY CAN'T HE TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME? SO IF ANYONE CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM SAYING.......AM I JUSTIFIED TO FEEL LIKE I DO (AS A PERSON) TOWARDS HIM? MAD LOVE, SQUEEKS

 

[madison1101]

Your feelings are totally understandable, and normal given your father's drug addiction. You are certainly entitled to feel as you do, because if you didn't have these feelings, I would wonder about your mental health. The problem with feelings is that we need to learn to cope with them in a healthy, responsible way.

It makes sense that you would feel God abandoned you, because most people tranfer how they relate to their earthly fathers onto God. If your father has abandoned you, which he certainly has with the drugs, then it makes sense for you to perceive that God has also abandoned you.

This is where the Spiritual battle begins. The Truth of God's Word says that God never leaves us nor forsakes us. Therefore, we must make a conciousl decision to believe God's Word, and believe that God is with us, even when we "feel" that he has abandoned us. (I speak for both of us because my father was an alcoholic and I dealt with the same feelings as you.)

The question I always struggled with was "How can I honor my parents when they do not deserve it?" My dad was a violent alcoholic. My mom was a raging bi-polar patient. I grew up in terror and fear most of my life. I was told that I did not deserve God's grace, love and forgiveness, but God gave it to me anyway in the form of His Son's death. I must obey what God says, and do it whether I feel like it or not. Easier said than done.

I have two suggestions for you. First, find a Nar-Anon or Al-Anon meeting near you and start attending them. Nar-Anon is for family and friends of drug addicts. Al-Anon is for family and friends of alcoholics. I suggest the latter because it may be easier to find than Nar-Anon. Second, see if you can get into some individual psychotherapy to help you work through your very real and valid feelings.

Hugs,
Trish

 

[Anti Existance]

I AM STRUGGLING WITH THIS. I HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH IT FOR AS LONG AS I COULD REMEMBER. I GUESS I PAY MORE ATTENTION TO IT NOW, BECAUSE ITS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL TEST MY WALK WITH GOD. MY FATHER (IF YOU CAN CALL HIM THAT) IS A DRUG ADDICT. THAT'S ALL HE CARES ABOUT. HE USED TO TRY TO HIDE IT, BUT HE DOESN'T ANYMORE.
HE MAKES IT VERY WELL KNOWN WHEN HE NEEDS A HIT OF SOMETHING. FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF JUST A PERSON I HAVE GROWN TO HATE HIM. ALL HE DOES IS BEG AND ANNOY MY MOM. I SEE HIM AS A BURDEN AND SOMETIMES I WISH HE WOULD BE IN JAIL OR JUST GO AHEAD AND OVERDOSE ON WHATEVER KIND OF DRUG HE'S TAKING. I JUST WANT TO CUT HIM OUT OF MY LIFE, JUST RUN AWAY, MOVE AWAY INTO MY OWN PLACE AND
HAVE NOTHING MORE TO DO WITH HIM. AS A CHRISTIAN I SEE SOMEONE WHO IS LOST. I KNOW THAT IT'S NOT HIM DOING THESE THINGS TO ME IT'S THE SPIRITS AND DEMONS THAT ARE BURDENING HIM RIGHT NOW. I KNOW THAT I SHOULD ENCOURAGE HIM TO GO TO CHURCH, I KNOW THAT I SHOULD PRAY FOR HIM. BUT I FEEL THAT HE DOESN'T DESERVE THAT, HE HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING FOR ME SO WHY SHOULD I JUST HELP HIM. I KNOW THAT IF I JUST RUN AWAY I LOSE THE BATTLE BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL.
BUT IF I RUN THEN I WON'T BE TESTED BY THIS, BUT THEN IF I GET USED TO RUNNING AWAY FROM THESE THINGS THEN I WILL NEVER GROW IN JESUS CHRIST. I GUESS I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND THE PERSON PERSPECTIVE. I FEEL GUILTY ABOUT THINKING OF HIM LIKE I DO BECAUSE I AM HIS DAUGHTER, BUT THEN AREN'T I JUSTIFIED TO BE ANGRY WITH HIM LIKE I AM? AFTER ALL HE HAS PUT ME AND MY MOTHER THROUGH AREN'T I ALLOWED TO FEEL LIKE HE IS USELESS?
ISN'T IT OKAY FOR ME TO FEEL ABANDONED BY HIM? DON'T I HAVE THE RIGHT TO FEEL NO LOVE TOWARDS HIM? I AM A NEW CHRISTIAN AND THIS IS ABOUT TO SLAP ME RIGHT OF THE PATH I WANT TO BE ON. SOMETIMES I FEEL THAT GOD HAS ABANDONED ME AS WELL. I FEEL LIKE HE CAN'T SEE ALL THAT IS GOING ON AROUND ME. WHY CAN'T HE TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME? SO IF ANYONE CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM SAYING.......AM I JUSTIFIED TO FEEL LIKE I DO (AS A PERSON) TOWARDS HIM? MAD LOVE, SQUEEKS

sorry i needed to make your text more readable.

The right thing for you to do is to love your father.

However this is easier said then done, actually it might be as good as impossible
at this stage.

Afterall can a child fend off a lion? Untrained, certainly not, a beginner?It would not be wise either, only an expert can deal with it.

To tame the lion you need a lion tamer. To deal with your father, you need to be an expert drug rehab consultant. You should not expect yourself to be forfilling this position of a professional at the moment.

You my dear are not to be asked of such a difficult task. Anyone who has experienced a drug addiction will tell you how horribly difficult it is to get rid of it.The only thing you can do is to ask God for help for your father, and help for you in order to be able to forgive and love him.

The feelings of dislikement that you have are only natural, it takes a lot of time, talking understanding and letting go of the past along with drawing lines to forgive and forget.

Getting your dad professional help to get rid of his addiction is the best step from here.

 

[Bianca01]

Hi Squeeks,

Have you thought about a family intervention? Are there other relatives that could help with this? Ask a professional for advice if you are willing to give it a try.

Either way, you are an adult now and you don't owe him anything. He's let you down repeatedly. I believe you have every right to be angry.

Don't get too caught up on forgiveness. He hasn't even seen the error of his ways or tried to make any amends. God forgives us after we confess and turn away from our sin and follow Him. I think if he turned his life around and asked your forgiveness then I'd take another look at it.

Also, be careful about the groups. I had my anonymity and confidence broken at an ACOA group. There was a lady from my church there and she couldn't wait to tell all I had said. But, definitely, find a trusted individual to talk to. Maybe a counselor for yourself.

Please don't think you're any less of a Christian for feeling this way. You are not. And your Dad has a choice. He has to make it. Not you.

Only the best to you. Please live your life to the fullest. You deserve it.

Take care.

 

[madison1101]

I forgot to share that my son is a drug addict. He wrestled with heroin for several years after high school. I had to throw him out of my apartment, and a year later his dad threw him out of his apartment. I was able to honestly say that I loved my son, but hated what he was doing to himself and me.

As for the Al-Anon and Nar-Anon groups, I suggested them so that you would find supportive, understanding people who could help you work through this. I belong to AA and have had my anonymity broken at times. That is not as important to me as finding friends who can help you find your way through the Hell you are living in at this time.

 

[GrannieAnnie]

My dad is/was an alcoholic....I know what it's like to HATE your father, for many, many years I hated mine, wished he was dead etc etc etc, he was emotionally abusive and the whole family were terrified of him. I think even without the alcohol he would have had a nasty dominating nature. Believe it or not, he's now 96 yrs old and it's taken me almost all my life to ...forgive him !! He still has his "glass of wine" each day....now he says it's for his health. I think it's a total insult to my mother that he'll still have even ONE glass of wine, but that's none of my business. I don't think he gets drunk anymore, but he still dominates her, even at his age. Mum is 89. You don't have to LIKE your father or what he does or what he's done and doing to the family. But...you do have to LOVE him, and I don't mean human love, I mean....agape !!! God's love, make it an act of your will.....ask God to help you to love him "spiritually"...you don't have to feel any emotion about it....it's an act of will. Maybe one day...as I have...you will have a "reasonable" relationship with your dad and you will be able to "humanly" forgive him

Love, Annie

 

[Johnnz]

Forgiveness is important, but it is not just a simple action to take irrespective of where the other person is at. After all where is a totally unrepentant person with God - has God forgiven him?

Often our forgiveness come after we have worked through some of the issues related to what that person has done to us. From our own healing we can see the other person form a new perspective.

John
NZ

 

[nothingssomething]

first of all, first things first i know you understand this but you cannot allow yourself to lose track, that you can do nothing, you have no power to change people, you can be the hands and the mouth of god, so ask yourself what Jesus would do and you'll probably be told what i am being told witch is to do what Jesus was doing all the time, you know most of the miracle that Jesus did and that most of us overlook alot is the truth and love that he gave to people that set people free before he preformed his visible miracles. alot of people have overlooked this but this is this generation's key.

but understand this .....that when jesus wen't back to his country and tryed to preform great miricals wonders and heal everyone it says in mark chaprer 6 1 - 7 that he couldn't witch might come as a shock but he couldn't because these peoplehad unbelif ....they belived their own truth mark 6:5 And he marvelled because of their unbelief. And he went round about the villages, teaching. i belive he tryed to teach them what they did not know witch was love

sweetie you need to love on him like someone aid previously but i'm not speaking of actions there are probably many visible signs of a hardened heart and Jesus gives us an example of fighting this, see you just need to love him and forgive him, i'm not sure but what i see alot having been this way myself is you need to find within him the thing that seems to be lacking in him and inject it full of Jesus for example have a serious talk with him ask him about the part of his life that you might not know about is there something that brings him sorrow then love on him EX: tell him that you care! tell him that you enjoy it when he is happy and it makes you happy if you find that he dosen't't think he is important tell him how important he is to you!! he may cover up these feelings with sarcasm or laughter but stand for Jesus strong and enforce the words of truth. this is how you fight these """ demons""" you see they have no power against love (witch happens to be what god is). you don't need to criticise that is enticing the things of the devil in your dad's mind!!!

this form of love is often hard to swallow i know personally i wish i could just pray a prayer, and someone change, but someone needs to be the voice that shows gods love, that breaks through to their heart no intervention is needed just the power of god's love and grace and forgiveness and you have an opportunity to give him a glimpse of these things. make it to where "i love you dad" makes him think "now i know she really means it" the every time you say that you will be a miracle.

compassion love grace Jesus through us
it's not easy it's not nature it's truth

 

[nothingssomething]

I GUESS I PAY MORE ATTENTION TO IT NOW, BECAUSE ITS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL TEST MY WALK WITH GOD.

could you pay mor attention to it because jesus is paying more attention to it this could strengthin you in love twad someone

I KNOW THAT IT'S NOT HIM DOING THESE THINGS TO ME IT'S THE SPIRITS AND DEMONS THAT ARE BURDENING HIM RIGHT NOW.

you give demons too much credit they cannot overcome the love of god they have already been beaten they don't have as much power ad most churches credit them for.

BUT I FEEL THAT HE DOESN'T DESERVE THAT, HE HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING FOR ME SO WHY SHOULD I JUST HELP HIM.

romans 3:10 10 As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:

we are all not good enough for god it is just because he loves us and he has mercy (pity) god doesnt judge us he judges jesus


I KNOW THAT IF I JUST RUN AWAY I LOSE THE BATTLE BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL.

what do you loose that god doesn't , what can you win at all, that jesus didn't fight for before you were conceived?

I FEEL GUILTY ABOUT THINKING OF HIM LIKE I DO BECAUSE I AM HIS DAUGHTER, BUT THEN AREN'T I JUSTIFIED TO BE ANGRY WITH HIM LIKE I AM? AFTER ALL HE HAS PUT ME AND MY MOTHER THROUGH AREN'T I ALLOWED TO FEEL LIKE HE IS USELESS? ISN'T IT OKAY FOR ME TO FEEL ABANDONED BY HIM? DON'T I HAVE THE RIGHT TO FEEL NO LOVE TOWARDS HIM?

this is a verry good question and something that lucifer has been useing for a long time to make us feel unworthy and unjust for centurys, but i beg you to use the model of abraham in exodus 32 :8 - 11

when god was angry yes angry with his people
and he was ready to just give up on us but abraham would not let him and told god to repent then god repented . if god repented because he was about to do this should you for giveing up on god?? it's notural that we give up on people, in the begning were human
but if jesus didn't give up on you then you can't pick and choose sweety

god has not abandoned you i swear to it i sugest that you just praise god just sing to him dance to him praise him and become overjoyed with the thought of him being so mearcyfull to all of us. because that's what god created us for to comunion with him to worship him to love him so we can be loved and we need to share that with all the world sweety god has enugh love for everyone and it wil not burn out or fade didi you think jesus died for you and then said oooh i didn't know i was going to be dying for her no god loves all of us our being alive is proof. so love like jesus and recive love wherever you can cause he's giveing us happynes all the time if we recive it, and look for it.

 

[Bianca01]

sweetie you need to love on him like someone aid previously but i'm not speaking of actions there are probably many visible signs of a hardened heart and Jesus gives us an example of fighting this, see you just need to love him and forgive him, i'm not sure but what i see alot having been this way myself is you need to find within him the thing that seems to be lacking in him and inject it full of Jesus for example have a serious talk with him ask him about the part of his life that you might not know about is there something that brings him sorrow then love on him EX: tell him that you care! tell him that you enjoy it when he is happy and it makes you happy if you find that he dosen't't think he is important tell him how important he is to you!! he may cover up these feelings with sarcasm or laughter but stand for Jesus strong and enforce the words of truth. this is how you fight these """ demons""" you see they have no power against love (witch happens to be what god is). you don't need to criticise that is enticing the things of the devil in your dad's mind!!!

So in essence, you think she should be the parent?

 

[nothingssomething]

to mi knowledge , the responsibility's of a parent were giving direction, guidance, and values and morals to a child, now, there are many things that parents utilize to do this, but a child giving love and telling their parents their feelings is in no way trying to guide discipline or tell your parents what to do because what they do with the knowledge and the emotion that they are feeling is part of their decision making skills. this might make him feel something he has not felt in a long time or or over-power a negative feeling that perhaps he trys to cover up, with drinking. this is how we replace negative feelings with jesus but she must tell him that these feelings are of jesus once he has accepted them, assuming he probably will not.
there is no human way to anticipate how god will work through us only the ways in witch we should work.

yes there is a method to my madness,

i like to call this invention love of jesus's dwelling in us, released through the spirit.
but i might be crazy but that's ok because jesus's example shows I'm not.

 

[nothingssomething]

regardless, i feel that someone is convientally withholding insignificant info, in that my advice may not be able to apply,

NOTE: i also feel that i might be wrong......hmmmmmmmm?(scratches head)

 

[FallingWaters]

I AM STRUGGLING WITH THIS. I HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH IT FOR AS LONG AS I COULD REMEMBER. I GUESS I PAY MORE ATTENTION TO IT NOW, BECAUSE ITS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL TEST MY WALK WITH GOD. MY FATHER (IF YOU CAN CALL HIM THAT) IS A DRUG ADDICT. THAT'S ALL HE CARES ABOUT. HE USED TO TRY TO HIDE IT, BUT HE DOESN'T ANYMORE. HE MAKES IT VERY WELL KNOWN WHEN HE NEEDS A HIT OF SOMETHING. FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF JUST A PERSON I HAVE GROWN TO HATE HIM. ALL HE DOES IS BEG AND ANNOY MY MOM. I SEE HIM AS A BURDEN AND SOMETIMES I WISH HE WOULD BE IN JAIL OR JUST GO AHEAD AND OVERDOSE ON WHATEVER KIND OF DRUG HE'S TAKING. I JUST WANT TO CUT HIM OUT OF MY LIFE, JUST RUN AWAY, MOVE AWAY INTO MY OWN PLACE AND HAVE NOTHING MORE TO DO WITH HIM. AS A CHRISTIAN I SEE SOMEONE WHO IS LOST. I KNOW THAT IT'S NOT HIM DOING THESE THINGS TO ME IT'S THE SPIRITS AND DEMONS THAT ARE BURDENING HIM RIGHT NOW. I KNOW THAT I SHOULD ENCOURAGE HIM TO GO TO CHURCH, I KNOW THAT I SHOULD PRAY FOR HIM. BUT I FEEL THAT HE DOESN'T DESERVE THAT, HE HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING FOR ME SO WHY SHOULD I JUST HELP HIM. I KNOW THAT IF I JUST RUN AWAY I LOSE THE BATTLE BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL. BUT IF I RUN THEN I WON'T BE TESTED BY THIS, BUT THEN IF I GET USED TO RUNNING AWAY FROM THESE THINGS THEN I WILL NEVER GROW IN JESUS CHRIST. I GUESS I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND THE PERSON PERSPECTIVE. I FEEL GUILTY ABOUT THINKING OF HIM LIKE I DO BECAUSE I AM HIS DAUGHTER, BUT THEN AREN'T I JUSTIFIED TO BE ANGRY WITH HIM LIKE I AM? AFTER ALL HE HAS PUT ME AND MY MOTHER THROUGH AREN'T I ALLOWED TO FEEL LIKE HE IS USELESS? ISN'T IT OKAY FOR ME TO FEEL ABANDONED BY HIM? DON'T I HAVE THE RIGHT TO FEEL NO LOVE TOWARDS HIM? I AM A NEW CHRISTIAN AND THIS IS ABOUT TO SLAP ME RIGHT OF THE PATH I WANT TO BE ON. SOMETIMES I FEEL THAT GOD HAS ABANDONED ME AS WELL. I FEEL LIKE HE CAN'T SEE ALL THAT IS GOING ON AROUND ME. WHY CAN'T HE TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME? SO IF ANYONE CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM SAYING.......AM I JUSTIFIED TO FEEL LIKE I DO (AS A PERSON) TOWARDS HIM? MAD LOVE, SQUEEKS

My dad is/was an alcoholic....I know what it's like to HATE your father, for many, many years I hated mine, wished he was dead etc etc etc, he was emotionally abusive and the whole family were terrified of him. I think even without the alcohol he would have had a nasty dominating nature. Believe it or not, he's now 96 yrs old and it's taken me almost all my life to ...forgive him !! He still has his "glass of wine" each day....now he says it's for his health. I think it's a total insult to my mother that he'll still have even ONE glass of wine, but that's none of my business. I don't think he gets drunk anymore, but he still dominates her, even at his age. Mum is 89. You don't have to LIKE your father or what he does or what he's done and doing to the family. But...you do have to LOVE him, and I don't mean human love, I mean....agape !!! God's love, make it an act of your will.....ask God to help you to love him "spiritually"...you don't have to feel any emotion about it....it's an act of will. Maybe one day...as I have...you will have a "reasonable" relationship with your dad and you will be able to "humanly" forgive him

Love, Annie

I think this response is excellent.
I would like to say that your goal needs to be to forgive your father.
Some people can do it more easily than others can.
One of the ways that God is going to work out holiness and maturity in your life is through your father-
it's always the hardships that refines us.
I know it's hard, but God knows what is ultimately for your eternal good.
If you didn't have hardship, you would think you didn't need Him.
Your relationship with God is individualized and personal.
Walk with God.
Do the right thing.
Love your enemies and pray for them.

This scripture has been helpful to me:
Matthew 18:23-35
I hope and pray that you would meditate on it and live by it.

 

[nothingssomething]

So in essence, you think she should be the parent?

more or less i am asking her to love just like jesus did what i am sugesting can also be called merely maturity, never let someone stop you from loving god

 

[Bianca01]

more or less i am asking her to love just like jesus did what i am sugesting can also be called merely maturity, never let someone stop you from loving god

I know you mean well and you do sound very mature. I really think that what Squeeks needs is to walk away for a while. She's endured quite a bit of emotional pain from her father and that is keeping her from a relationship with God. Forgiveness is a process and I think it's a VERY CONFUSING process. If people could just realize how easy it is to forgive the petty stuff, but, this kind of stuff aches down to the bone. Again, Luke 17:3,4... if he repents, forgive him...

I think as in the scripture, "Love your neighbor as yourself"... how can you love your neighbor if you don't love yourself? So, Squeeks, please take the time to care for you, get to know you and love you. Then when you can handle it better, walk in again, stronger.

Take care

 

[nothingssomething]

forgiveness is one of the bigest roads that lead to whitnessing, these days people are afraid to opean their hearts to other people and tell them what could just hurt them,
i tottally understand this but that is what god did for us, and that is what got our attention, we could have decited to just hurt him because that is what god dislikes, makes him sad, us,, so he told us and jesus told us, that was whitnessing

if you go and tell someone half informed that jesus loves them that's awesome that's magnificant, that person dosen't understand the benifit he has,
if you wen't up to that same person and told them with full emotion like it mattered and men't the world, that you care that whatever happened to them happened and then you tell them that you want to help them soo much, do whatever you can to help them, that's diffrent to an unsaved person, that's in your face careing, that's a glimpse of jesus and they can't deny that fealing only cover it up.

"""""did you blead your heart today?
did you reach out to catch a tear?
did you cause one in the name of jesus?
i didn't, so who did for me?

imagine if 5 percent of christian youth did that. whatif it wasnt a wed sun or thurs. is that you"""""

 

[nothingssomething]

if squeaks, does not feal like she's mentally ready then she might not be

 

[saraharms1]

I know exactly what your going through. Both of my parents are alcoholics and drug additics and it just plain sucks. Over the time I've become a christian though my father has stopped the heavy drinking and I love and respect him so much more. I don't get to see him often because my parents are divorced and I live with my mom. About my mom... lets just say she hasn't slowed down at all.

There is nothing wrong with what you are feeling. I've felt simular things myself. Sometimes I feel like I want to scream in my mothers face but from so many arguments I know thats gotten me nowhere besides kicked out for the night. Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough for my mom and that since I'm not good enough she needs the drugs and alcohol to satisfy herself. BUT most of the time when I feel God near me I feel sorry for her my mom had to deal with watching her mom be abused by her father as a kid and her father was an alcoholic and walked out on the famiy when she was young and even was kidnapped by her father at one point.



So my advice to you. Try and understand you fathers past and pray for strength and courage and even compassion.

 

[Bianca01]

Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough for my mom and that since I'm not good enough she needs the drugs and alcohol to satisfy herself.

I can relate to this. My father drank a lot while I was growing up. On more than a few occasions he would disown me, say I wasn't his child. So when my parents argued I always thought it was because of me. Same with his drinking, I thought it was because of me. That was so many years ago, but, the emotional pain is always there.

You are good enough just as you are. Your parents problems are theirs. Too bad they are missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime... raising their daughter into adulthood. I think with these situations children are often left to fend for themselves. Don't be too proud to talk with someone about this...a Christian youth leader or a counselor.

Take care