forgiveness .

[drifter5]

I am struggling with forgiveness. Please can anyone advise me on what they find helpful. Thank you so much.

 

[outhwaar]

Try to recognize that we are all sinners, and that not a single one of us deserves forgiveness. Nevertheless, we have, all of us, been forgiven. All of us depend on the power of forgiveness for our very lives. For us to withhold from others what we ourselves need so desperately, and receive so abundantly, is seriously ungrateful to our Saviour.

Remember that forgiving others, or withholding forgiveness from others, does nothing of significance to them. It does, however, have a profound effect on us.

 

[Onlythingavailable]

Pray for whoever you are having trouble forgiving. I have found that softens my heart.

 

[w00dy]

what and who are you struggling to forgive? have they said sorry to you? does the person whos hurt you know how you feel?

i think alot of us think that as christians we should automatically forgive all hurtfull actions against us, and never complain about it (in the main thats what i do, i have a wee grumble and then just get on with it. a friend of mine used to say "lifes too long to hold grudges" lol). but if someone you care about hurts you, sometimes they have to know how upset they have made you and say sorry for you you to be able to forgive them and move on. well thats what i have found anyway

 

[LilLamb219]

What aspect of forgiveness are you struggling with exactly? Are you struggling with the forgiveness God has given to you or are you struggling with forgiving someone else?

 

[hsilgne]

Our society makes it so difficult to have a forgiving outlook. "Its all about me" in todays world, especially a capitalist based society.

I struggle with this as well. In the past when I have finally forgiven someone I realize it is through the Grace of God. Through prayer and reading the Word, He will remind me of my faults when I focus on the faults of others.

Also, it's always good to remember that the person you are trying to forgive prolly does not even remember the thing they did to you and prolly does not even think about you at all. HArbouring resentment occupies your mind and your time and no one elses. Forgiving someone is the best thing you can do for YOURSELF while the other person prolly could care less if you forgave them or not.

Blessings.

 

[DaughterofZion63]

"Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions."
Mark 11:25

Like everyone else has asked, are you having trouble accepting your forgiveness from God or are you having trouble forgiving someone else? I have and still do struggle with both of those as well. I know I sin without knowing it at times (or at least not until later) so I get worried that I won't fully repent. Are we saved no matter what? If we accept Christ and believe in God and lead a Christian life (and do our best), is our salvation "in tact"? I think so. I don't think that, if I died tomorrow, I would go to hell because I didn't repent a sin I may have overlooked. That's what Jesus came for; He didn't overlook anything. I still like to ask for forgiveness and repent though. It helps me to feel the sin and vow it away and out of my life.

As for forgiving others, it can be so difficult, especially if you are in the right. But you have to step back. What would Jesus do? And how do you hope to be treated? If you wronged someone, would you hope for forgiveness? I know I would. I have forgiven people for things they don't know they did that hurt me and I have also forgiven people for doing things that hurt me and then lying about it. It is really tough to swallow my pride and realize that it isn't worth it, for so many reasons, to hold grudges and to not let go. That's not to say you need to be good friends with everyone who wrongs you. If someone hurt you, you should forgive them, but you can end the friendship. Just think about what Jesus would do and think about how you would hope to be treated. Good luck. God bless

"I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, and I will not remember your sins."
Isaiah 43:25
​

 

[drifter5]

What aspect of forgiveness are you struggling with exactly? Are you struggling with the forgiveness God has given to you or are you struggling with forgiving someone else?

I am struggling to forgive others in general. Also , how do we know for sure if we have forgiven someone please ? I feel confused. It is like i will say to God i choose to forgive that person , but the next day i may feel angry feelings towards them again, even though i really do want to forgive them.

 

[hsilgne]

I am struggling to forgive others in general. Also , how do we know for sure if we have forgiven someone please ? I feel confused. It is like i will say to God i choose to forgive that person , but the next day i may feel angry feelings towards them again, even though i really do want to forgive them.

Good question. Unfortunately, I'm not sure there is a concrete answer available.

Maybe you should try the Dr Phil advise...

Write the person a letter. You don't have to give the letter to them, but it's a way of getting your feelings out. Spill your beans so to speak and let that person know how what they have done hurts you and what their actions have done to you. Again, you don't have to let that person or anyone else see the letter. It's just a way for you to release the feelings you are harbouring.

Another thing that sticks in my head...

Realize that Jesus loves that person very very much - just as He loves you and I very very much.

We are all sinners and fall short of His glory. Remembering this helps me through these sorts of things.

Gods Peace.

 

[outhwaar]

Forgiveness is a choice we make, and we may well have to make it over and over again, whenever feelings of resentment surface. It is a choice to love that person as Christ commanded (that is, to desire the best for them - warm fuzzy feelings have noting to do with it), whether they deserve your love or not. As long as you keep making that choice, your doing fine.

 

[JessyD]

I too struggle with Forgiveness. You know God forgives. But sometimes the hardest part of forgiveness is forgiving yourself. My father died when I was sixteen, and I didn't always treat him the best. Sometimes I wish I had of known then what I know now. It's a daily struggle I'm constantly praying that God will somehow give me peace.

 

[christismyrock]

I am struggling with forgiveness. Please can anyone advise me on what they find helpful. Thank you so much.

My daughter was abandoned by her father when she was around 11. At first he just vanished. Then he came back into the area but made no effort for any contact. He has a severe alcohol addiction and verbal abuse and violence fill his life. He would accept no help or even admit his need for help.
At the age of 17 she tried contacting him and tried to make peace with him. Her visit was followed by a confrontation in which he told her she wasn't worth the effort to change.
At 24 she wrote him a letter of forgiveness. This was a choice she made between her and God and was led to do it in this way.
I am posting the letter, which I was very moved by, and believe she has peace with God concerning this choice to forgive. We might never have peace with the person, but having peace with God is what matters.

Her father's name,

I am writing you because I feel compelled to do so. I hope that you will read this with an open heart and a willing mind.
I have heard that you are not in good health right now, for that I am truly sorry. I hope that you know that I mean that.

I am writing you to say that I forgive you. You may feel that you have done nothing wrong and therefore need no forgiveness.If this is true then this statement will mean very little or nothing at all. If you feel in some way that you needed forgiveness, then I hope that this will give you some form of comfort or peace. I mean this statement with all that I have in me.
So many things in life go unsaid, because it is not the right time or we feel that maybe someone does not have it in them to hear it. I am taking a risk and saying it anyway, because moments in which you realize you should have said something are the worst moments in your life. I have had too many moments in life where I have stopped myself from saying something that I should have. I have often thought of these moments and wondered what would have happened if I had just said what I wanted to say. My life could have turned out very different or exactly the same. I will never know. I don't want to live a life of could have, would have, should have.

I have been told I am very much like you, it used to upset and disturb me to hear this. I was afraid of you growing up. No terrified is actually a better word. I say this not to upset or anger you in anyway. It is just a statement of truth.

I am told I am like the you that I do not remember : a compassionate person, an intelligent person, a person with an adventurous soul, a person who can see from a perspective of others and not just their own, a desire to see the best in people, a strong sense of self. This is what I have been told. I wish I knew this man. I would have liked him.

I asked mom to tell me about the man you were, the good person that I don't remember. She told me that when I was a baby you used to lay on the couch with me on your chest and you would fall asleep like this. She said you hardly ever slept, but you would fall asleep this way and that you looked so peaceful like that. I wish I could remember this moment, because I think it would have meant a lot to me. It would mean a lot that I had somehow brought you comfort or peace once, you always seemed such a restless soul. It would mean a lot if I could remember this bond that we once shared.

I am not writing you to re-establish a relationship with you. I think we both have an understanding of why that connection can not be made. Time has made us strangers, if we ever really knew each other at all anyway. Blood is not a bond, it is simply what keeps us living.

I am writing this letter to say, I forgive you. Three words that are so easy to read, but very hard to comprehend on paper, or understand the possible complexity of its meaning. It means simply what it means nothing more, nothing less. If you can stand back and look at things through my eyes then maybe this will mean something to you, because it means something to me. I hope that it can bring you some comfort and peace in knowing that I am no longer angry at you. Whether my anger is just or not in your mind, it should not matter. What should matter is I have let it go.

Your daughter
Christina

 

[Elijah2]

There are specifi steps to Forgiveness.

Sadly, many things in our lives causes us to be wronged, hurt, offended, rejected, and abused, and we push all that anger and bitterness down deep inside of us, and then when the time comes it wells up inside of us and it defiles others around us. Read Hebrews 12:15.

Forgiveness isn't that simple and there is no "quick fix".

When we forgive and we can love that deep down within our heart, then we will experience complete forgiveness.

Many times, you hear man say, "I forgive them, but I don't forget!" Well forgiveness is "remembering no more", the same as when our Lord Jesus Christ forgives us.

Then the hardest of all to forgive after you have forgiven others, is yourself.

If anyone is struggling with unforgiveness, please PM me.

 

[ephraimanesti]

My daughter was abandoned by her father when she was around 11. At first he just vanished. Then he came back into the area but made no effort for any contact. He has a severe alcohol addiction and verbal abuse and violence fill his life. He would accept no help or even admit his need for help.
At the age of 17 she tried contacting him and tried to make peace with him. Her visit was followed by a confrontation in which he told her she wasn't worth the effort to change.
At 24 she wrote him a letter of forgiveness. This was a choice she made between her and God and was led to do it in this way.
I am posting the letter, which I was very moved by, and believe she has peace with God concerning this choice to forgive. We might never have peace with the person, but having peace with God is what matters.

Her father's name,

I am writing you because I feel compelled to do so. I hope that you will read this with an open heart and a willing mind.
I have heard that you are not in good health right now, for that I am truly sorry. I hope that you know that I mean that.

I am writing you to say that I forgive you. You may feel that you have done nothing wrong and therefore need no forgiveness.If this is true then this statement will mean very little or nothing at all. If you feel in some way that you needed forgiveness, then I hope that this will give you some form of comfort or peace. I mean this statement with all that I have in me.
So many things in life go unsaid, because it is not the right time or we feel that maybe someone does not have it in them to hear it. I am taking a risk and saying it anyway, because moments in which you realize you should have said something are the worst moments in your life. I have had too many moments in life where I have stopped myself from saying something that I should have. I have often thought of these moments and wondered what would have happened if I had just said what I wanted to say. My life could have turned out very different or exactly the same. I will never know. I don't want to live a life of could have, would have, should have.

I have been told I am very much like you, it used to upset and disturb me to hear this. I was afraid of you growing up. No terrified is actually a better word. I say this not to upset or anger you in anyway. It is just a statement of truth.

I am told I am like the you that I do not remember : a compassionate person, an intelligent person, a person with an adventurous soul, a person who can see from a perspective of others and not just their own, a desire to see the best in people, a strong sense of self. This is what I have been told. I wish I knew this man. I would have liked him.

I asked mom to tell me about the man you were, the good person that I don't remember. She told me that when I was a baby you used to lay on the couch with me on your chest and you would fall asleep like this. She said you hardly ever slept, but you would fall asleep this way and that you looked so peaceful like that. I wish I could remember this moment, because I think it would have meant a lot to me. It would mean a lot that I had somehow brought you comfort or peace once, you always seemed such a restless soul. It would mean a lot if I could remember this bond that we once shared.

I am not writing you to re-establish a relationship with you. I think we both have an understanding of why that connection can not be made. Time has made us strangers, if we ever really knew each other at all anyway. Blood is not a bond, it is simply what keeps us living.

I am writing this letter to say, I forgive you. Three words that are so easy to read, but very hard to comprehend on paper, or understand the possible complexity of its meaning. It means simply what it means nothing more, nothing less. If you can stand back and look at things through my eyes then maybe this will mean something to you, because it means something to me. I hope that it can bring you some comfort and peace in knowing that I am no longer angry at you. Whether my anger is just or not in your mind, it should not matter. What should matter is I have let it go.

Your daughter
Christina

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL ACT. MAY YOUR DAUGHTER--AND YOU--BE BLESSED AND HEALED OF ALL THE RESIDUAL EFFECTS OF WHAT WAS DONE TO YOU.

YOU BOTH ARE INDEED FREE!

WITH LOVE IN CHRIST,
ephraim

 

[ub4me]

You Can Be Angry About An Act Committed Wrongly Against You.....and Still Forgive The Person Who Was In The Wrong. Just As God Does For Us...he Hates The Sin And Loves The Sinner.
Confess Outloud In Your Prayer, So Your Own Ears Can Hear It, I Forgive So And So, But Lord Help My Unforgivness. Confessing Forgivness, Is The Key.....if That Is What You Want In Your Heart, Which It Obviously Is, Hence The Question. Your Mind And Feelings Will Follow...they Don't Let Go Quite As Easily. But Just Like Salvation You Believe In Your Heart And Confess With Your Mouth....the Same Lord That Saves You Will Help You Forgive, After All He Is The Author Of Forgivness...the Creator Of The Universe......one Breath Is All It Takes.


Heavenly Father Blow The Spirit Of Forgivness Upon Your Daughter....heal Any And All Hurts
As You Touch Her This Very Moment Let Her Heart Be As Yours Interceding For Those Who Willfuly Hurt Others....that They May Also Come To Know Your Heart Of Love. Birth In Her A Maturity That Sees People Through Your Eyes...and Not From Our Humaness. In Jesus Name, Thank You Lord.

 

[christismyrock]

Quote:
Originally Posted by christismyrock
My daughter was abandoned by her father when she was around 11. At first he just vanished. Then he came back into the area but made no effort for any contact. He has a severe alcohol addiction and verbal abuse and violence fill his life. He would accept no help or even admit his need for help.
At the age of 17 she tried contacting him and tried to make peace with him. Her visit was followed by a confrontation in which he told her she wasn't worth the effort to change.
At 24 she wrote him a letter of forgiveness. This was a choice she made between her and God and was led to do it in this way.
I am posting the letter, which I was very moved by, and believe she has peace with God concerning this choice to forgive. We might never have peace with the person, but having peace with God is what matters.

Her father's name,

I am writing you because I feel compelled to do so. I hope that you will read this with an open heart and a willing mind.
I have heard that you are not in good health right now, for that I am truly sorry. I hope that you know that I mean that.

I am writing you to say that I forgive you. You may feel that you have done nothing wrong and therefore need no forgiveness.If this is true then this statement will mean very little or nothing at all. If you feel in some way that you needed forgiveness, then I hope that this will give you some form of comfort or peace. I mean this statement with all that I have in me.
So many things in life go unsaid, because it is not the right time or we feel that maybe someone does not have it in them to hear it. I am taking a risk and saying it anyway, because moments in which you realize you should have said something are the worst moments in your life. I have had too many moments in life where I have stopped myself from saying something that I should have. I have often thought of these moments and wondered what would have happened if I had just said what I wanted to say. My life could have turned out very different or exactly the same. I will never know. I don't want to live a life of could have, would have, should have.

I have been told I am very much like you, it used to upset and disturb me to hear this. I was afraid of you growing up. No terrified is actually a better word. I say this not to upset or anger you in anyway. It is just a statement of truth.

I am told I am like the you that I do not remember : a compassionate person, an intelligent person, a person with an adventurous soul, a person who can see from a perspective of others and not just their own, a desire to see the best in people, a strong sense of self. This is what I have been told. I wish I knew this man. I would have liked him.

I asked mom to tell me about the man you were, the good person that I don't remember. She told me that when I was a baby you used to lay on the couch with me on your chest and you would fall asleep like this. She said you hardly ever slept, but you would fall asleep this way and that you looked so peaceful like that. I wish I could remember this moment, because I think it would have meant a lot to me. It would mean a lot that I had somehow brought you comfort or peace once, you always seemed such a restless soul. It would mean a lot if I could remember this bond that we once shared.

I am not writing you to re-establish a relationship with you. I think we both have an understanding of why that connection can not be made. Time has made us strangers, if we ever really knew each other at all anyway. Blood is not a bond, it is simply what keeps us living.

I am writing this letter to say, I forgive you. Three words that are so easy to read, but very hard to comprehend on paper, or understand the possible complexity of its meaning. It means simply what it means nothing more, nothing less. If you can stand back and look at things through my eyes then maybe this will mean something to you, because it means something to me. I hope that it can bring you some comfort and peace in knowing that I am no longer angry at you. Whether my anger is just or not in your mind, it should not matter. What should matter is I have let it go.

Your daughter
Christina

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL ACT. MAY YOUR DAUGHTER--AND YOU--BE BLESSED AND HEALED OF ALL THE RESIDUAL EFFECTS OF WHAT WAS DONE TO YOU.

YOU BOTH ARE INDEED FREE!

WITH LOVE IN CHRIST,
ephraim

Thank you so much for your response. I read your testimony and your words have a deep impact.
My daughter never received a response from her father. I saw the deep move of God on her as she wrote the letter. She was in agony for weeks wanting only the right words. I know that she truely forgave from her heart - this was her choice.

She has longed for a earthly father's love, gentleness and acceptance. She is growing in the understanding of her Heavenly Father's Love for her and finding increased peace in this.

I will be showing her your post and testimony. May God's Peace fill your life.

 

[ephraimanesti]

Thank you so much for your response. I read your testimony and your words have a deep impact.
My daughter never received a response from her father. I saw the deep move of God on her as she wrote the letter. She was in agony for weeks wanting only the right words. I know that she truely forgave from her heart - this was her choice.

She has longed for a earthly father's love, gentleness and acceptance. She is growing in the understanding of her Heavenly Father's Love for her and finding increased peace in this.

I will be showing her your post and testimony. May God's Peace fill your life.

MY DEAR SISTER,

MAY YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER BE ABUNDENTLY BLESSED!

It is a sad and regretable thing that your daughter must forego that love and support which an earthly father can offer his daughter or, for that matter, that you must forego the love and support a husband can offer his wife. But our God's GREAT Love for us is so far beyond anything we humans can share with each other even under the best of circumstances, that i know--as you both do also--that He will dry all tears, heal all your hurts, and meet all your needs--beyond anything you could possibly conceive of.

MY PRAYER FOR YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER IS YOUR REWARD FOR BEARING YOUR CROSSES SO FAITHFULLY, PROCESS, WILL COME QUICKLY!

IN CHRIST'S LOVE,
ephraim