- Mar 23, 2004
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I did not really love my mother until I "grew up". God's grace enabled me to see her differently, in a new light. I no longer saw her as a 'mommy' that did not meet my needs, who hurt me, but as a woman who suffered greatly as a child, and as an adult, and who was unable to ask my forgiveness. God enabled me to see past her faults and see her need. We developed a new relationship before she died and I am thankful to God for it. By the time she passed we had been reconciled and had a relationship that was genuinely a friendship. I had learned not to expect something from her that she was unable to give. In the beginning, our visits were brief, and lasted only as long as it was genuinely tolerable...I met with her in 'doses'. Our visits became longer, and always were because we genuinely enjoyed each others company. I saw clearly just who she was, her limitations, and mine. It was 'real' for the 1st time in my life. My mom knew that I genuinely loved, respected, and saw her as the unique person she was and that I delighted in being with her. I realized only after she died what God must have been doing....He was loving her through me. Praise God.
~brinny
~brinny