Hello everybody. I wanted to get an opinion from whoever wanted to give their two-cents on this topic. You see, my wife has been having a few problems with her mother for a long while now. Nothing to serious, but it always seems that whenever they speak to each other they end up arguing about something. I've been there myself whenever these arguments start up and not to be biased about it, but it always ends up being that my mother-in-law blows things out of proportion. She ends up storming out of the room and being upset with my wife for awhile. My wife, of course, always feels really bad about the whole situation and goes and literally "begs" her mother for forgiveness even though it's almost never her fault the argument started. So, my question is, should my wife keep asking for forgiveness over and over again until my mother-in-law gives in and forgives her or should my wife just ignore her mother whenever she's upset and just wait until her mother comes around again? Thanks for all your opinions.
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"Forgiveness" dilema
- Thread starter rock1801
- Start date
Freodin
Devout believer in a theologically different God
Some people just don´t get it. They feel attacked, regardless of what you do or say. They take everything as an offence.
I don´t know why they act this way, but I know that there is nothing that you can do to change it.
Regardless of what your wife does, it is unlikely that it will have any effect on the way her mother acts (but who knows? - she might just try it once).
So the only question that remains is: how does your wife feel about it? Is she more comfortable with the idea of making it up to her mother, swallowing her pride and sense of justice in order to fix the relationship until the next clash - or to stand up against her, with uncertain effects?
I don´t know why they act this way, but I know that there is nothing that you can do to change it.
Regardless of what your wife does, it is unlikely that it will have any effect on the way her mother acts (but who knows? - she might just try it once).
So the only question that remains is: how does your wife feel about it? Is she more comfortable with the idea of making it up to her mother, swallowing her pride and sense of justice in order to fix the relationship until the next clash - or to stand up against her, with uncertain effects?
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I think ask for the forgivness even tho it is not her fault, life is to short to have long periods of time of not talking to each other, just think if something happened to your mother in law after a squabble with your wife, the last words said to each other would have been in anger. you wife doesn't need that on her conscience, she should just ask for forgivness and go on. remember Pride is one of the seven deadly sins
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GMRELIC`s answer makes most sense to me,I also speak from experience.The one giving the other cheek(not retaliate,control your feelings)keeps his,or her conscience clean,in case something does happen and one wishes,if only.And ,perhaps more important,the one who always starts a disagreement,will learn that it is better to keep calm.I have seen it happen.Greetings Emmy.
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BarbB
I stand with my brothers and sisters in Israel!
The actions of the mother-in-law sound like my husband's ex-wife. She tortures her two daughters with out of control anger, fault finding and accusations and she has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Her daughters cannot tolerate to be in her company; so they see her only a few times a year!
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