For those with an "other half" :)

[sparrow]

This is a question to those who have a boyfriend/girlfriend/other half or whatever. Please don't reply if you don't have, because I want the views of people who understand what I'm talking about No offence meant ok!

How far do you go with your other half? How far do you feel is right and OK with God? Do you find resisting temptation with your other half is difficult?

Please be honest I'm in a relationship which I'm quite serious about now, and I don't want to mess it up with desire. So I want to know how far you guys think is "OK".

Thanks!

 

[Swurple]

HelloOOoo my dear!!! * chuckles *

Well....hm..... Im abit conservative and my boundary is at french kissing. Pretty lame right? haha yea but I somehow don't feel right doing it unless I know that he's really the one. Its almost kinda like sex for me, only this I'll allow before marriage..heh. So yea the guy Im with now feels heaps of temptation but because Im pretty adamant with my stand and he respects that, we never get to that stage, and definately not further. As for resisting temptation, um.... it IS a little difficult, but I reckon its alot easier for me compared to other people cos Ive never really gone into that "area" so.... its easier to resist something when you dunno how good it is,hey! hehehe.... yea he's amazed at my willpower and I told him that and he was like..." oh...true...true... " lol

Yea so....hm. Sex is definately after marriage. Anything below that is really between you and God. If you feel dodgy doing something cos you think its something that displeases God, bring it to Him..... or stop doing it. Im not one to do this, but alot of Youth find it enriching to get the advice of their Youth Pastors...so yea you might wanna do that too.

hehe... all the best. Guys can be sooo sweet sometimes,ya??? Hows your mom?

 

[Holyjoe]

well, if there's only half of me then I'm sure to have another half somewhere aren't I? lol, but as far as a girlfriend, no so I shouldn't really be posting..sorry!

/me leaves the room

 

[jayebrownlee]

This is something that my fiancé and I have been struggling with. If I am honest I would like the boundary to be french kissing however I am nto very good at that and sometimes we have gone further (although we have never had full blown sex). It is one of these situations where you want to look in the Bible and find "thou shall not go further than here" unfortunately God has left this area a little more grey than that!! I think you shouldn't do anything which gives you an [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], btu I think you need to find a place that your partner and you both feel comfortable with. Ask yourself whether you could tell God what you have done (I knwo he already knows but go with it) and not feel ashamed. I also knwo this isn't and shouldn't be a definitive guide to sin, but I think it si a good starting point.

Your sister in Christ

Jay

 

[OracleX]

http://www.christianforums.com/threads/38542.html

That thread is all about this from many different persectives. It would be well worth reading.

Sexual affection should be left for marriage. One of the best things that one has with their other half is purity. Once that purity is gone, its gone. At that point relationships start building up guilt and shame and all sorts of negitive things that can unchecked and not addressed, can destroy the relationship.

Just a note: if purity is not one of the things that attract you to your other half, then right there there is an issue. The Bible states that a pure women is prized more than richs of gold and jewels. The same can go for a pure man. Purity is very important. As Christians we must seek others who have the same Biblical foundation as we do or else we will build a house on the wrong foundation.

 

[psycmajor]

An old, nearly defunct webpage of mine:
http://www.angelfire.com/md2/ichbindasgenie/sextalk.html

 

[elijahswife]

well, I'm married, sooo....

during our engagement, our *theoretial* boundary was holding hands and a peck on the cheek good night. Where we actually ended up drawing the line was somewhere between french kissing and light "petting" (okay, okay HE actually drew the line, thank God) We restrained ourselves so long, in my experience, when we finally did give in on the no kissing rule, the first thing he did was use the tongue, and neither of us had even done THAT before.

The only statement the bible makes is not to have sex. That is the biblical boundary. Your boundary has to be the point where if you go any farther, you're 1)going to give away something you'll later regret or 2) lose all restraint whatsoever. We found out that being puritans about the issue only worked for us when we were seperated by 2000 miles.

Some engaged couples can *handle* french kissing, for others, it will cause too much temptation. Always proceed with caution. In general, despite the fact that I was *naughty*, I still don't reccomend frenching.

I was lucky, I landed a gentleman. I'd have been in trouble otherwise.

 

[seebs]

Well, I'm married, so my boundaries probably aren't of interest. The exact boundaries are unclear to me; different people draw the line in different places, and cite both interpretations of Scripture and cultural norms to support them. Trust God, trust your conscience.

 

[SoldierofChrist]

I think it boils down to the very intentions of each person in the relationship. The Bible strictly prohibits us to flee sexual immorality, or even a *hint* of it. I think that a pretty serious command and should be taken just as seriously. While we are all humans and we fail, that's no excuse. Personally I have chosen not to kiss my girlfriend until we are married, if we do get married. I know that sounds pretty extreme, but we've gone too far in the past and I believe as an act of worship to God, we should sacrifice certain things in order to avoid temptation. I'm not saying that we're better than any other couple for choosing to kiss, or french kiss, but for us, we chose to stop kissing until we are married, or at least engaged. It depends on your motives, intentions, and ultimately your tolerance for things.

 

[ej]

I disagree with the 'temptation' argument...

Surely if we live by our genuine values, and we believe and value these to the core, there is no way we can be tempted from them?

Personally, I think we should trust ourself, trust our loved one, and trust God to guide us - we can't go too far wrong!

Hooray!

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Hmm...
Song of Songs says to not awaken love before the right time.
Desire is like striking a match and before you think it's lit your are burning up in a forest fire. It will begin to dominate your relationship. You will quit building a foundation and resort to just fooling around every chance you get. This builds emotional ties that are hard to break. You can very well know what the right thing is and not be capable of doing it.
I messed around when I was younger. Dated one girl for a year and a half. Are we married? No. That's a crummy feeling to live with.
You don't want to live with it.
I'm kind of jaded on this subject.
It goes: girl not dating. Girl says X will never happen. Girl meets boy. Girl says, "Is X ok?" X happens. Girl can't stop X from happening because she's too attached to the guy.

 

[49erfan]

---

 

[slimfish]

In your post you say you are serious about this person. If you are serious why not take being cautious to the extreme? Being a married person I know that sex is something that is worth waiting for. Kissing is something that is even worth waiting for. You will never regret not kissing and not having sex. Pray for strength, and don't be afraid to make your boundaries SUPER conservative. Just some of my thought. Godbless.

 

[User9056]

Ive been through this just recently and I know how hard it is because its ongoing and will be until marrige. However I dont think you should do anything more than kissing, which means no feeling up or down inside our outside of clothes. Yes its hard and you wanna do it I know this but you will thank yourself later and the Lord will bless your marrige