For the Men

[newyorknewyork]

I have asked him, had he of answered me, I wouldn't have asked here. He told me to figure it out, I'm trying.

r u serious????????????

figure it out??????????????

what a joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

seriously thats really rude of him to expect you to appreciate him then tell you to FIGURE IT OUT?!?!

wth??

how rude

i would NOT put up with that

seriously!!

tell him to grow up

 

[newyorknewyork]

There's something else going on, here, and I get the feeling that it's not at home. There's no way that hearing someone say, in all sincerety, "Thank you!", or, "I appreciate what you did!", is going to roll off like water off the proverbial duck's back. How's your love life? Does he come home to sweet and sour liver, with eggplant as the veggie, when he's hoping for steak? He needs to actually say, "I like it when you_____" or, "I like it when you don't _____." He needs to say, "You're welcome," when you say, "Thank you." Obviously, I don't know for sure; I can only speculate. Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself for her. There are no qualifiers, tangents, modifiers, conditions or exceptions. Not even for PMS. If you give him your full attention when he wants or needs it, and you don't make excuses when he wants to be intimate, and you are supportive, and do whatever God leads you to do, above and beyond those things, then you've done all you can do and it's his responsibility to respond.

my 2cents... this lady (the op) came here asking how she can show her husband she appreciates him

she then proceeded to inform us all that her husband is playing games and telling her to "figure out" how he wants to be appreciated ?!?!

you then respond to this by bringing up what she cooks??

how is what the OP cooks her husband/family for dinner anything to do with this??

seriously, this woman is naiive and vulnerable and putting up with waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much crap from her husband as it is!!

dont go and BLAME her cooking

seriously - thats ridiculous!!!

 

[newyorknewyork]

ok now that ive read the whole thread...

i was going to tell you different ways i show my husband i appreciate him.. but then i deleted it because your husband is being childish and doesn't deserve to be shown appreciation

seriously - don't REWARD his immaturity by responding the way you are ("yes dear, ok dear. i will try to guess how you want me to appreciate you.")

seriously?! who does he think he is???

i for one would NOT put up with anyone doing that to me

 

[Sothron]

I do not mean to sound crass or intrusive but honestly there's one way to definitely let a man know how appreciative and loved they are. While being intimate telling him then how much you appreciate him would not just be another repetition but it would mean more to say at during that time.

 

[Katakalupto]

Thanks for all the replies. We talked and he was frustrated at work and taking it out on me. He didn't feel appreciated by his boss, and channeled that home. He apologized, and all is well.

tsuriyel~I am not naive. I know I am not the perfect wife, and do not mind admitting that fact. Knowing that I am not perfect, how can I expect him to be? Abimelech gave wise advice that really had nothing to do with cooking, but with attitude.

Anyways, I am thankful for the opinions you men shared here. By doing most of the things you suggested, I hope my husband will see that I appreciate him at all times, even when work isn't going so well. I doubt there is a perfect spouse, and I cannot fault mine for having times when he may act "childish" when he takes care of me. loves me, and supports me through all of my problems.

 

[Exiled]

Well, don't you just love it , a lady comes to the group and asks for some male input and all the other ladies are here like bees round a honey pot, giving their advice and asking questions!

Just kidding ladies! I know you are trying to help!

Well for me the best thing my wife can do is to notice that I have been helpful and to specifically thank me

Pete

Thanks for making me laugh!

For me, I feel appreciated just to know my wife is thinking of me. A phone call when we're not together or a hug when I least expect it does wonders for me. I think it's the little things and the things that can be overlooked that can make a difference. Maybe your husband just needs to be assured that you're thinking of him. It sounds like you've done that though. You sound very considerate. If his feelings were hurt, he may talk about it when he feels better.