for the ladies

[servantone]

youDo you gals even need a man to be happy? IMO i don't think that most women do (who are 45+). But I couldbe wrong.

Please learn me a thing or two

 

[If Not For Grace]

Need? No.

Placing a need for happiness on another human being is a recipe for disaster. True happiness must come from within.

Desire? That is another ballgame. The desire to share one's happiness with a partner and to do so on an intimate level makes the union of male/female desireable but necessary..not.

In fact one of the things I see in the world today is the decline of the male presence in family lives all round. Women today are marvels. Do-it-alls. They earn the income, manage the household, give birth and raise children and with the aid of science can do all this without so much as male contact if they so desire. I am not saying this is a good thing...it is just an observation.

 

[dayhiker]

I agree with If Not For Grace observation. I think its true for men as well. Especially if one has a good salary. We can buy most of the services we need. Just take laundry. One just puts the clothes in the washing machine and add soap. When the button is presses for the next hour hour no over sight is needed. A few minutes to transfer the clothes to the dryer. Then a number of minutes for folding. My two boys were taught to do their own laundry at 12. A far cry from when Monday was laundry day and it was the main job for that day.

 

[blackribbon]

I think all people need to be needed to be happy.

However, we can not get our happiness from someone else. That has to come from within. So that means happiness comes from reaching out to other people.

Would I like to be married again? Yes, but it is not the end all of end alls.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

First of all, happiness, IMO, is fleeting. Joy....now that is a different story. And to me, joy comes from the Lord. Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest.
It is wrong IMO, to put the burden of your "happiness" totally on another person whether you have one or not. It has to come from within.

I do not "need" a man. But I never wanted or considered that I would be a widow. I always thought I would die before my husband, I don't know why, but that's what I thought. So I find myself, now 8 years a widow and although I love the freedom I have of being able (for the most part aside from kids) to do what I want, I think everyone wants to be loved and appreciated for who they are, no matter who they are. I think we are built with this desire in our hearts. Some people would probably disagree but that's my opinion.
So even though I don't "need" a man to make me happy, because we all know that another person will not make you happy 100% of the time anyway, I do wish I had a human male that loved me on this planet. I do wish for that fairy tale knight in shining armor that cared more about making me happy than his selfish desires. I do wish for someone to share the burden of this life with but I do not know if that is the Lord's plan for me, since he allowed my husband to die. Some days I'm OK and other days I really struggle with wanting a partner that really really loves me. I have one friend that has a husband like this. They are high school sweethearts. She is a very busy woman with a heart of gold also, but she is super sensitive too, which makes her needy in a way, which allows her husband to be her hero. I can't really explain it correctly but I kind of wish for someone to love me like that, and I can't say my husband did that. But he did love me and he was my hero when I needed him to be (most of the time).

 

[servantone]

Need? No.

Placing a need for happiness on another human being is a recipe for disaster. True happiness must come from within.

Desire? That is another ballgame. The desire to share one's happiness with a partner and to do so on an intimate level makes the union of male/female desireable but necessary..not.

In fact one of the things I see in the world today is the decline of the male presence in family lives all round. Women today are marvels. Do-it-alls. They earn the income, manage the household, give birth and raise children and with the aid of science can do all this without so much as male contact if they so desire. I am not saying this is a good thing...it is just an observation.

Thank you for your response INFG.

Could the decline of a male presence coincide with the general sociatal decline in biblical Christianity? IMO yes indeed.

 

[servantone]

I agree with If Not For Grace observation. I think its true for men as well. Especially if one has a good salary. We can buy most of the services we need. Just take laundry. One just puts the clothes in the washing machine and add soap. When the button is presses for the next hour hour no over sight is needed. A few minutes to transfer the clothes to the dryer. Then a number of minutes for folding. My two boys were taught to do their own laundry at 12. A far cry from when Monday was laundry day and it was the main job for that day.

Thank you for your reply DH.

As for doing laundry, my single mother had us doing laundry and dishes and cutting grass at age 7. And I am glad she did, because it made me self-sufficieant and not lazy like these punk kids nowadays.

*yells and shakes fist at neighbor kids to get off my grass*

And let me tell you about when we would walk up-hill 4 miles to and from school.......

 

[servantone]

I think all people need to be needed to be happy.

However, we can not get our happiness from someone else. That has to come from within. So that means happiness comes from reaching out to other people.

Would I like to be married again? Yes, but it is not the end all of end alls.

Thank you for your repsonse BR.

I believe that most folks with a few miles on them also are of this mindset, or at least should be of this mindset.

 

[servantone]

First of all, happiness, IMO, is fleeting. Joy....now that is a different story. And to me, joy comes from the Lord. Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest.
It is wrong IMO, to put the burden of your "happiness" totally on another person whether you have one or not. It has to come from within.

I do not "need" a man. But I never wanted or considered that I would be a widow. I always thought I would die before my husband, I don't know why, but that's what I thought. So I find myself, now 8 years a widow and although I love the freedom I have of being able (for the most part aside from kids) to do what I want, I think everyone wants to be loved and appreciated for who they are, no matter who they are. I think we are built with this desire in our hearts. Some people would probably disagree but that's my opinion.
So even though I don't "need" a man to make me happy, because we all know that another person will not make you happy 100% of the time anyway, I do wish I had a human male that loved me on this planet. I do wish for that fairy tale knight in shining armor that cared more about making me happy than his selfish desires. I do wish for someone to share the burden of this life with but I do not know if that is the Lord's plan for me, since he allowed my husband to die. Some days I'm OK and other days I really struggle with wanting a partner that really really loves me. I have one friend that has a husband like this. They are high school sweethearts. She is a very busy woman with a heart of gold also, but she is super sensitive too, which makes her needy in a way, which allows her husband to be her hero. I can't really explain it correctly but I kind of wish for someone to love me like that, and I can't say my husband did that. But he did love me and he was my hero when I needed him to be (most of the time).

thank you Michelle for sharing your personal thoughts.

IMO a good share of women also feel this way. I know for myself as well that having another to go through life's BS is very helpful.

 

[Life2Christ]

youDo you gals even need a man to be happy?

Not for me but I wish for anyone who desires a man that God would bless them with a relationship.

I know this is total TMI but I just had an ultrasound done of my ovaries and uterus and looking at my womb without a baby in there was so weird and empty. Like an empty dance hall. The technician said "your ovaries are beautiful, you can can more children." And I felt such a loss becuase having more kids is not an option for me. I have my one daughter and am happy. I secretly do want more kids or at least one more. I left the doctor's office wishing I had a husband. But such is life. I said a prayer afterwards and thanked God for everything I have.

 

[dayhiker]

Ya, how special is having/creating/growing a baby.

 

[exitstageright]

I agree with If Not For Grace observation. I think its true for men as well. Especially if one has a good salary. We can buy most of the services we need. Just take laundry. One just puts the clothes in the washing machine and add soap. When the button is presses for the next hour hour no over sight is needed. A few minutes to transfer the clothes to the dryer. Then a number of minutes for folding. My two boys were taught to do their own laundry at 12. A far cry from when Monday was laundry day and it was the main job for that day.

Dayhiker,Tuesdays are my usual laundry days. I use the timer on my oven to let me know when the washing and the drying times are up.

Yes,having a very good salary, without having a partner is a "consulation prize." One can even buy companionship these days.

And, it does not always have to be of a sexual nature. If I do not have a date for my company's Christmas or Holiday Party,I see nothing wrong by hiring an escort to prevent me from looking like a loser in front of my CEO.

 

[eckhart]

true happiness is found in joy, peace, kindess, generosity, blessings from the Lord, these are not necessities but blessings as JESUS and knowledge of the divine trinity will increase both partners' outlook on life. they need to be steadfast in the Lord's love rather than be happy

 

[servantone]

Not for me but I wish for anyone who desires a man that God would bless them with a relationship.

I know this is total TMI but I just had an ultrasound done of my ovaries and uterus and looking at my womb without a baby in there was so weird and empty. Like an empty dance hall. The technician said "your ovaries are beautiful, you can can more children." And I felt such a loss becuase having more kids is not an option for me. I have my one daughter and am happy. I secretly do want more kids or at least one more. I left the doctor's office wishing I had a husband. But such is life. I said a prayer afterwards and thanked God for everything I have.

Big hugs sister

 

[Life2Christ]

And, it does not always have to be of a sexual nature. If I do not have a date for my company's Christmas or Holiday Party,I see nothing wrong by hiring an escort to prevent me from looking like a loser in front of my CEO.

Your rants are coming off as pathetic. This is a single's forum and you just called soneone without a partner a loser.

 

[dayhiker]

I think there is a difference between saying a single is a loser and saying his company's CEO might think he is a loser. The later means that exit knows something about his CEO and how he views his employees.

 

[exitstageright]

Your rants are coming off as pathetic. This is a single's forum and you just called soneone without a partner a loser.

Whoaooooo! Time out,time out! I did not call anyone,especially myself,a loser.
I am not a loser.I do not consider myself or anyone else without a partner a loser.

But.....but....in the coporate world,if a man shows up at a social function without a female partner,like it or not,he is considered and looked upon as being a loser.

I am sorry that I did not make myself clear the fist time. These are not rants. There are just opinions and reports. Do I not have a right to express myself? It is not as if I am yelling "fire" in a crowded theater,when there is no fire.
-peace,ok?

 

[exitstageright]

I think there is a difference between saying a single is a loser and saying his company's CEO might think he is a loser. The later means that exit knows something about his CEO and how he views his employees.

Dayhiker,I think this proves what I have been saying all along.Men understand what I am saying,but women seem to take everything 180 degrees from the point I am trying to make. Dayhiker,a male understood what I was writing. Life2Christ,a female,totally misinterpreted what I wrote.
I just cannot understand this!!!!!! It makes no freaking sense! I just wonder. Is all of this just some cosmic joke that is being played on me? Is this some sort of a test? Am I the romantic version of Job? Can anyone else please tell me What the Heck is going on here?

 

[Life2Christ]

I think there is a difference between saying a single is a loser and saying his company's CEO might think he is a loser. The later means that exit knows something about his CEO and how he views his employees.

Does he know100% that his Ceo feels that or is he being ultra-sensitive about himself being single? Exit has a history of saying he feels like an outcast wherever he goes.

 

[dayhiker]

Well, Life2Christ, I don't know his CEO. So my policy is to accept what other people say until I have some evidence that its wrong. exit knows his CEO and corporate culture, I don't. So he would know their attitude better than anyone I know.