For never marrieds

[tryme]

This is geared towards the more "mature" single.

I am never married.
I read about divorce, even multiple divorces even in the church family.
I read about unhappy marriages and affairs even in the church family.

Because of all that I sometimes think I am glad to be single.
I think I would rather be single than deal with all that.
Anyone else feel that way? At least sometimes?


PS I have nothing against those married or divorced, etc.

 

[wayfaringstranger]

Yes, I feel that way very much. I've avoided alot of problems by staying single. Still at times I feel like I have missed out on something.

 

[Psalms34]

Single or married, I just try to focus on where I am at and try to do the best with what I have. For me the grass is greener on both sides and both sides also may have its dead grass spots, seemingly. Just because other people are doing something (like divorce or cheating), well I don’t feel that this really applies to me. I mean it’s the same as with anything (such as Christianity), some people are just not going to do a good job of it, but that should not stop me from doing it myself and striving for my full potential in it. Why would we want to look at other people and set the expectation for our lives from what they do? We should be more concerned with the example the Lord sets and just try to help one another along the way as best we can.

 

[tryme]

The problem is a marriage involves two people not just yourself.

Growing up I hardly ever saw divorced people in the church.
People use to WORK at their marriage.

And I do believe a marriage MUST be constantly worked at.
Both people must be active in the maintenance of the marriage.

Unfortunately nowadays divorce has become "acceptable" to many. Very sad.

 

[Psalms34]

The problem is a marriage involves two people not just yourself.

Growing up I hardly ever saw divorced people in the church.
People use to WORK at their marriage.

And I do believe a marriage MUST be constantly worked at.
Both people must be active in the maintenance of the marriage.

Unfortunately nowadays divorce has become "acceptable" to many. Very sad.

True, it is not just myself, but I do have a choice regarding who it is. If such issues do not matter to someone, well then they may wind up with someone that such issues don’t matter to them as well and the likely hood of these things happening to them is more probable. I don’t view it as random. It’s true though, many people seemingly don’t really take this seriously, but if you do than it’s probable that you could find someone who lives that way as well.

 

[Driver]

I am also "never married"

I wonder how many others like us are out there?

 

[tryme]

I am also "never married"

I wonder how many others like us are out there?

I know there are a few of us over on the Fabulous Forties forum.
If you are 40 something come on over.

 

[Mark2010]

Yes, I agree with you. Well, at least sometimes. Some days I see couples who are happily married and feel like I have missed something in the best years of my life. Other days I see people who are very unhappy in their marriages, or divorced, and glad I haven't had to endure that particular kind of pain. So, like many other things in life, it's a mixed bag, I suppose.

Which is why I would like to be married to the right person, but not just to be married for the sake of being married. (Hope that made sense.)

Blessings,
Mark

 

[tryme]

Which is why I would like to be married to the right person, but not just to be married for the sake of being married. (Hope that made sense.)

Makes perfect sense.

 

[AceHarddrive]

I too am a never-married forty-something. I'm not married only because God has me doing other things (taking care of my bedridden (now dead) father and my mother). Maybe sometime in the future, He might decide it's time for me to have a wife. At that time, I'll let Him choose the one I'll be with. Until then...not mine, but His will be done in my life.

~Tim

 

[Rut]

I too am a never-married forty-something.I have had to much to do in Gods work so I have never missed to be married.Now when I have calmed down little and I see old single people that not get some visit in the nursinghome then I begin to think.I sometimes too miss to be married when I feal I must tell someone about things that happen me good or bad things

 

[Craft]

This is geared towards the more "mature" single.

I am never married.
I read about divorce, even multiple divorces even in the church family.
I read about unhappy marriages and affairs even in the church family.

Because of all that I sometimes think I am glad to be single.
I think I would rather be single than deal with all that.
Anyone else feel that way? At least sometimes?


PS I have nothing against those married or divorced, etc.

lol, I learned from the mistakes of some of my friends. Seems most of them got married and had children in their 20's and divorced before their 30's and have been paying child support ever since. Thou in truth, when I was younger my work was more important than being socially active and around here the main social activity is going to the bar and drinking. The idea of a nice quiet dinner and movie, or a quiet walk and conversation, is considered lame. Due to my old line of work, going to the bar was considered very, very risky and could end up in a violent incident, so that was out. I have a serious hatred of the Drug scene and it seems all too prevelent around here, even though it is a small city, and it seems most people are in that scene one way or the other, so that really limits the number of women who I would consider as possible matches. The one woman I did seriously consider, I later found out not only used, but dealt in illegal substances. Since then I have dated off and on, but have in the last few years been as close to a hermit as it is possible now a days. I have found myself happier being single and in this way I cannot ever be betrayed or disappointed again. Most of the friends I have are people I have met online and in this way I determine when and how I interact with them. I find in this way I have friends who are not judgmental or demanding, just good friends.

 

[stryperfan]

I dunno - I try to focus less on whether or not I am single and focus on trying to be as effective of a Christian/person as I possibly can. If the right person comes along then that is fine. If not, then that is fine too.

 

[J0hnSm1th]

Because of all that I sometimes think I am glad to be single.
I think I would rather be single than deal with all that.
Anyone else feel that way? At least sometimes?

i'm married and i sometimes feel like that

 

[AwesomeLove]

I just wanted to post and say I am also a 40-something (female, however) who never married and have spent my life taking care of ailing parents. My father passed away almost 8 years ago, now I am caring for a mother with severe pulmonary problems. What we do for them I feel is our ministry and just wanted to say hello to a fellow parent care-taker. I am not very knowledgeable about this forum or how to use it. I basically just come and and read them from time to time. May God bless you and your family. I will keep you in prayer cause I know the demands we have put on us. Have a great day

 

[stryperfan]

I am also a 40-something who never married and could not enjoy life more. Being very independent I enjoy spending time alone and, for the most part, really do not care what other people think.

At the same time, I have gone through a lot of trials and tribulations in life and, as a result, forming long term relationships pretty much got lost in the shuffle or put on the backburner. I guess you could say I have never met someone who has gone through what I have or could relate to what I have been through.

As for meeting people? It really is not a priority. I do not socialize with other singles at church or do the online dating scene. In other words, I am not actively seeking the right person. If I meet the right person-fine. If a do not then that is fine as well.

As for marriage? Well, I read that the divorce rate as around 50%. So when you think of it marriage is basically a "coin flip". And out of those marriages that do "work", how many of them are happy?

 

[MargoPego]

I feel young here, something that hasn't happened to me in a long time! I'm only 36, but I, too, have never married. I've also been blessed with chastity throughout my life. I'm thankful for that! Some people are so surprised to find out that I'm still a virgin, but I'm always surprised that people are surprised. It's not because I present myself as the kind who would give in to a man, but, rather, because it's so unexpected to find anyone over "a certain age" (what is that "certain age," btw? Does anyone really know? :S) still a virgin. I'd committed myself privately to that before I was a teenager because I knew it was what God wanted of me until I married. I'm thankful to say that most of my boyfriends have been extremely respectful of that & had the same values. Even one who'd given himself to a woman before he was a Christian was thankful for my virginity, as it helped him to live right in his new life.

It's all due to God, of course!

Up here in the Arctic I actually find the singleness easier to bear in some ways - there's a great lack of single Christian men my age. In fact, I don't know of any! If they are here, I have yet to meet them. Still, it's also frustrating because there are no prospects for me here & that's actually quite discouraging at times.

Overall, though, I am very content & have great friends to hang out with. All women, but great friends nonetheless. I do miss having a man my age or close to to talk with, as I don't feel right having men as friends if they're married or committed to other woman. Just isn't right to me. If the situation was such that I knew him before & the woman was my friend, too, then it'd be a little different, but I'd still be extremely cautious.

I'm thankful to know that there are many on this site in my place. Praise God for the support!

Anyway, the struggle goes on, but in God we have the victory!

 

[barbaraclarke]

This is geared towards the more "mature" single.

I am never married.
I read about divorce, even multiple divorces even in the church family.
I read about unhappy marriages and affairs even in the church family.

Because of all that I sometimes think I am glad to be single.
I think I would rather be single than deal with all that.
Anyone else feel that way? At least sometimes?


PS I have nothing against those married or divorced, etc.

I am a 46 never married single female there is also a lack of single men down under however there are times when I'm grateful I'm single and at other times I wish it was different
however I have learnt all in all to be content in my circumstances and to trust God with the rest.

 

[nb37]

Yes sometimes when I look at the married people all around me, I ask myself, "why in the world do you want to get married?" I know that I have avoided lots of drama. But I still want to take a whack at it though.

 

[janeanne]

I am also a single, never married woman. I have always waited for the man that God has for me.
I have seen friends go into (and some out of) marriages. Most of my friends now are married. The hard thing is that, like some other posters, I would love to have someone to share life with. Sometimes I get very lonely.
I guess the biggest regret I have is that I don't have children.
I do enjoy my freedom, though. If I had not been single, I couldn't have moved to Korea this past Jan. to teach.