Following your Husband (literally)

[caresforthebirds]

I am having problems with the mental health system in this town. Literally, I have no choice. But... husband has this idea of moving out of state, there is a state he wants to move to, he already has a friend of his family looking for a place and he wants to drive all the way up here even to help us move!

But... what am I suppose to do? That would take me away from my family! (but puts him near his family). Do I trust him enough to follow him anywhere?

 

[LinkH]

You don't give a lot of detail. You mean you have to move because of the problem with the mental health system?

You two can talk about these things, but ultimately, yes, if he insists, I think you should follow your husband. I used to live in Indonesia, and women would say 'ikut suami'-- follow the husband.

You've lived near your parents for a while. Why not live near his for a while? Most people don't have jobs for 30 years at the same company. It kind of makes sense to spend some years near each set of parents if you can. If you have kids, they get to know their grandparents. It would be good if my wife and I could move near to at least one set of parents.

 

[RedPonyDriver]

Women have been following their husbands literally all over the world for years. The cases I'd be most familiar with would be military spouses...a co-worker of mine is married to a military man. He was stationed in her hometown. He got orders to Yokohama Japan. They went. 3 years later, he got orders to San Diego CA. They went. Her family is on the east coast. His family is in Arizona.

The converse can be true also. My husband has followed me around the country. East coast, west coast, midwest, north, south...he comes along.

And remember, a man shall leave his mother and a woman shall leave her home and the two shall become one. Staying near your family is NOT part of marriage. Time to cut those ties and strike out on your own, you, your husband and any children you may have.

 

[ValleyGal]

I'm not quite sure how the mental health system in your town fits into a move to another state. Does your husband want to move to another state because it has a better mental health system for your sake? If so, then he is doing it for your benefit and you should trust that. Otoh, taking you away from your family could be detrimental to your mental health, if you find a lot of support in them. What is motivating his decision to move?

Do you get along with his family and will they be supportive of you? Have you been to the state he wants to move to? Maybe the two of you should go and scout it out before making a big move so you will feel more comfortable with it. Imo, making a huge decision like this should be done together.

 

[Grizzly]

I am having problems with the mental health system in this town. Literally, I have no choice. But... husband has this idea of moving out of state, there is a state he wants to move to, he already has a friend of his family looking for a place and he wants to drive all the way up here even to help us move!

But... what am I suppose to do? That would take me away from my family! (but puts him near his family). Do I trust him enough to follow him anywhere?

I agree with LinkH - there isn't alot of detail here. Who is in need of mental health services? Are you in need of them - or is he? Do you think your husband is acting hastily? Does either he or you have a job lined up at the new place?

 

[Righttruth]

I am having problems with the mental health system in this town. Literally, I have no choice. But... husband has this idea of moving out of state, there is a state he wants to move to, he already has a friend of his family looking for a place and he wants to drive all the way up here even to help us move!

But... what am I suppose to do? That would take me away from my family! (but puts him near his family). Do I trust him enough to follow him anywhere?

Discuss this in depth with your husband. One advantage is that he is trying to move close to his parents. You enjoyed closeness to your parents for sometime. Allow him to finally decide on this matter. Trust him and trust God. May God go with you wherever you go.