Jesus'TroublesomeAngel said:
So I have to accept that I will never have rest, never be happy, always be lonely and always be unattractive and sad.
Gee what a great life. I would have thought there'd be at least a bit of let-up. I don't recall The Bible saying that if we follow Christ our lives will be full of darkness and nasty things.
In fact if I recall, if we keep His commandments we're supposed to get what we want and have joy in abundance.
Well where's the joy? Where's the Love? If we reap what we sow, then why is it when I'm friendly I still don't make friends? Tell me that if the word of God is infallible, then why hasn't any of it come off for me?
I'm all ears.
Whew!
I'm gonna try my best with this, I've posted to you in the past about your illness.
First off, I highly reccomend that you read the book of Job, it puts things into perspective when we are feeling sorry for ourselves, and yes, that is what you are doing. How do I know? Because I'm dealing with the same thing you are, along with many other medical problems.
I became very ill and bedridden at the age of 25, not just with CFIDS, but with other painful medical conditions. I was literally in bed for 4 years. You need to quit asking yourself "Why"? and just accept and deal with what you have to the very best of your abilities.
I do not wish to to sound harsh, but you must understand "how" to live in Christ through good and bad times, your illness is not a punishment, others would gladly trade places with you(not to make light of how serious an illness you have, but others are far worse)
May I ask what you are thankful to God for? Do you thank God and praise Him for all He is doing for you now? Right now it sounds like you are going through a depression, for which you really need to seek counsiling or join an online support group with others who are dealing with the same thing.
I will continue to pray for you, but please seek council with those in your area that can help you.