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Five more years...

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Five more years of singularitudeness.. good or bad?

  • (Yes) I’d be fine with it. :)

  • (Meh) I’d deal with it and keep on hopin’ :

  • |(No) That would not be good times :sigh:

  • (Other) Tell us how you feel :pink:

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mina

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thanks, girls are always telling me that, lol. It's just hard, and i know you and everyone else here probably thinks i'm pathetic, but i'm SO not a career girl. I have a career and i've done well for myself but it doesn't excite me , i'm not passionate about it. I don't think anyone here really knows how i feel about this. i'm not depressed but i am discouraged. And it does make me sad; and i don't think my emotions are wrong. I don't try to let them control me. Anyways i typed out a long response, but it doesn't matter. I'm on pain meds and my emotions are all out of wack.
 
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GuacaMolly

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I get all of that-- even the pain meds messing with your emotions. I hate that.

I wasn't trying to tell you not to be sad-- I just meant that saying that you're not who people want is silly, since all that matters is that you're what one person wants.

... and I've probably had a 3:1 ratio of girls vs. guys telling me I'm beautiful.
 
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Apollo Celestio

Deal with it.
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In 5 years, I'll be 26. (Barely.) I'll probably be married by then if I'm going to ever get married. Even now I'm learning to accept that I'm asexual, by then I think I'll be completely content and ok with single-ness. Hopefully I'll be out of the country by then. I'm not very attractive, so I don't think I'll have to worry about people liking me, though I do hope to be a master martial artist by then..
 
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mina

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I don't agree that my feelings are silly. that one person is part of most people so it feels like it's never going to happen, if that makes sense. OUr past experiences shape us, and with my past it's hard to believe that even one would pick to be with me , because well no one has. And the one guy that i thought was the one- who "got" the real me in almost everyway, well wasn't. And the number of single, Christian men that get me and that find me attractive and that i in return find attractive and "get" is very small if not nonexistant. Anyways i don't think i can even properly communicate how frustrating this is for me w/o having many people pity and have distain for me so yeah i'll be quiet now. I know it's not the "in" thing to feel on this board, but this is my brutally honest answer to the OP. I don't have much hope and it does make me sad. No, my life isn't over, but my reaction to this possibilty is sadness.
 
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Wyvern

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soccerdad66 said:
Another vote for deal with it.

Rather be lonely then miserable.
Click to expand...

Ditto...

But why can't we be lonely and miserable at the same time?...

Seriously...

I have a long road ahead of me just to find another woman that can put up with me...

I think all my ex-gfs just felt sorry for me...

And put up with me out of pity...
 
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GuacaMolly

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I really do understand that, and please don't mistake my attempt at encouragement as disdain. I, more than anyone, know that sometimes we just need to hear things that we know must be true out loud, from someone else sometimes.

Don't be quiet if you have something to say. My PM box is always open.
 
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NathanfromMichigan

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Option 3 for me.

But its alsot he most likely thing as when you toss in all the actual stuff in my life plus the fact that I'm basically the man women settle for (and when you combine that with the move away from women settling... ) well, the odds are heavily against me.
 
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silentpoet

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I don't feel pity or disdain for you. My boat is almost the same so I do have some empathy for your suffering. If I had an answer I would give it to you gladly. But about the only advice I can give is to pray and endure. But that is not much comfort I know.

I have only seen the one or two pictures of you, but you do look attractive to me.

One verse that seems to apply to our situation is Galatians 6:9.
 
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I

ido

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I think that feeling sad and resigned about our singleness is Satan's delight. We struggle so much with being OK with where we are at, that it doesn't take much to knock the wind out of our sails. Personally, I refuse to give Satan the pleasure of seeing me defeated on this subject matter. I don't believe that God intended for me to be single permanently - so, if I am single in the here and now, I need to straighten up and pay better attention to what God is teaching me and how He is trying to move in my life.

If I feel sad and dejected, that will be the attitude that I convey to others - and no, they will not find that attractive. If I feel hopeful, then I will appear hopeful - and hopefully more attractive - to others.

This is how I have dealt with singleness over the years. It may not be the right way to approach it for everyone, but it is what has worked for me.
 
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