- Mar 19, 2011
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I've always had very unique views about God and His Son and His teachings. I've always seen things through a different light and as would follow my final belief in baptism follows true to those views. I've been a Christian for a while now, but still seemed to wander as a lost lamb. I was a Christian but now what? Yes I believed in God yes I believed that His Son died for me. Yes I believe that He wrote the Bible through His chosen hands. No, not the current one but the original. I loved God the best I knew how, but it didn't seem full. It all seemed hazed. And as I sat in my sinners body, and thought my sinful thoughts, He spoke to me. I latched on and and turned to worship music, not enough. I went to reading my Bible, not enough. But it was there, frantically it was there. So, I hurried to my knees and prayed. I had to know what he was telling me. It was so pertinent to the here and now, I had to know. And then it came to me as clear as day. It was my turn to be born. I had been baptized before, but what was it exactly? I knew what it was I suppose but I did not really understand. A child can know a definition without knowing it's meaning. I knew it meant a rebirth in Christ, but what was that supposed to mean? I remembered the day that I openly accepted Christ into my life, it's not something I'm likely to forget. But I had not fully understood as I thought I had. I had never been cleaned. It was as if I accepted that God was there without accepting the gift he offered. But as quickly as a pregnant woman goes into labor, so I stirred in the womb of Christ's love. Not by my own choosing, but by His. He knew when I was ready, when I would grasp that this whole time my faith was only being knitted and formed. And as I cleaned myself it was as if I could literally feel my past burdens and grievances being washed from me. and as I sat in the water I knew my life, would never be the same again. And as I rose from the water like a new born babe, I had a new found love for my Father, my Creator. Because someone can have a sort of love for their biological parent who was not there to raise them, but it is not as strong as the bond between a parent and a child who's first sight, and first love is their parent who will hold their hand and carry them as far as they ever wish to go. So I understand, why I had lived in such a haze, why it seemed like I had to try to love God where is now it feels so natural. It was one of those things I had to immediately go tell someone, because it all felt so amazing, there has to be someone else who knows.
