first visit to lcms church

[tagyourit]

Took the family to a local LCMS church. They have two services, an 8:30 traditional and a 10:30 blended. It might sound contrarian, but being a young-ish family of six ( oldest is almost eight ) I wanted to see their 8:30 service.

We really enjoyed the service. So very different than our Presbyterian church we currently attend. In a good way. I really liked it.

This particular church did not have a nursery ( is that common for LCMS? ) but they did have a cry room. We never had to use the cry room thankfully. They were very accommodating supplying canvas bags with books, crayons, etc for the kids upon arrival.

Not having a nursery might be because this particular church is located in a retirement community. Although the average age of the folks living here is dropping, the demographic of this particular church is well over 75% retired folks, especially at their 8:30am service, I can't speak to the blended service.

Are there any Lutherans here that have younger children that are in similar situation? Curious how you handle the lack of young children in the congregation for your kids to build relationships.

Our current church is at the other end of the spectrum...many many young families with two or more kids per family.

I *do not* want a church that looks like my family. I appreciate and hope for a multi-generational/cultural in any church body. Just speaking to the specifics of lack of fellowship with the younger kids is all.

I'm at odds with the new direction our church is taking in worship, my theology is changing to more Lutheran, but I don't want my kids to feel like we're cutting them off from their friends on Sunday morning. We don't fellowship with these kids during the week, but they do look forward to that time on Sunday with their church friends.

 

[QuiltAngel]

Many, but not all, do not have nurseries. As you notice, they have the cry rooms. Age of congregation is not a big criteria. Most Lutherans feel that the children should be in the service. One of the times we were visiting my parents and attended worship with them (non-Lutheran), my kids attended "Children's Church." They did not really want to go, but were being "pushed' there by the adults. They attend the opening of the worship service and then are excused for their church. My kids were probably lower elementary age at that time. They said they would never do that again. They much preferred to be attending the service.

Does this church have Sunday School? These are usually held between services. Check into that first.

 

[tagyourit]

QuiltAngel, we prefer to have them with us in the congregational service instead of dividing the kids from the parents.

They do have SS between the services and my kids where there ( two in one room, two in another ) but there were only 5 or 6 other kids in there.

I think we're going to start by going once a month for a little while.

Thanks for the encouragement.

 

[Tangible]

There is some good information and resources available at the LCMS website dealing with children in worship. I would like to obtain the Kids in the Divine Service materials myself to use with my kids.

Children in Worship | The Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod

Kids in the Divine Service | The Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod
About Kids in the Divine Service | The Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod

Our church has a nursery during the second service, and I must admit that we leave our three-year-old there regularly. He loves the lady that watches him there and looks forward to seeing her every week. We make sure that he goes to his Sunday school class between the two services, though, so he is receiving the Word there.

With six kids 12 yrs to 3 mos to supervise during the service, we honestly just need a bit of a break from the additional distractions the 3yo would make in order to get very much other than frustrations out of the service.

There is another large family in our church that always brings all their kids to the service but who don't do a very good job of supervising them and keeping them from talking out loud and causing other distractions. They sit in the back row and the next few rows are usually pretty sparse.

Another thing they do is that they bring all six of their kids up to the rail for communion. We sometimes bring one or two up and the pastor blesses them as he distributes the sacrament, but all six? Every time? What do you guys think?

 

[alexnbethmom]

i have absolutely no clue if this will help at all, but here is my experience:

the LCMS church i go to does not have a nursery, nor a "children's church" - there is a cry room, but nobody ever uses it (if there is a crying baby, they usually just walk back to the fellowship hall and watch/listen from back there), and the children all just attend the regular service.

we only have one service, so after service is "coffee hour" (which is really only "coffee 1/2 hour), and then Sunday School for the kids, and adult bible study (along with choir practice). where we live is very diverse, age-wise, but this particular church is made up, mostly, i think, of seniors - for a while we had a LOT of kids that would come to church, but we have noticed that children's attendance has dropped, not as many in the service, not as many in SS. this is typical, there is an ebb and flow, usually about the start of summer, and the start of winter, seems like those are the times that we will see less or more - right now we seem to be getting more kids, albeit toddlers, etc, instead of elementary/middle/high school - but still a wonderful blessing!

i'm so happy you enjoyed the service (my church only has traditional liturgical, we don't have a blended service, so i can't speak for that) - and i hope and pray that you and your family continue to find it a blessing....

 

[tagyourit]

Thanks for the links Tangible. I think I can relate to your experience with your 3yo as well as the family that hauls them all in there.

 

[alexnbethmom]

tangible - i think children need the blessings from the pastor just as much as those confirmed need to partake in the Lord's Supper - i dunno, for me it kinda seems like a no-brainer to bring the children to the rail each time....(trust me, i get that with that many children it can be a challenge - my pastor has a 3 y/o and 8 mo old twins, and his wife always enlists one or two teenage girls to help with the kids, especially on a communion week, LOL - but they always all go up to the rail....)

 

[tagyourit]

Forgot to mention, the Pastor had a children's sermon which I very much appreciated.

We had thought about the logistics of taking communion for me and my wife, but thought I remembered LCMS and WELS only allow members to partake, so we stayed put.

I think if we were to go up, we would have to take them with us, at least the little ones, or ask for help from someone sitting nearby. Our youngest would pitch a fit if daddy and mama got up and left her in the pew.

 

[alexnbethmom]

Forgot to mention, the Pastor had a children's sermon which I very much appreciated.

We had thought about the logistics of taking communion for me and my wife, but thought I remembered LCMS and WELS only allow members to partake, so we stayed put.

I think if we were to go up, we would have to take them with us, at least the little ones, or ask for help from someone sitting nearby. Our youngest would pitch a fit if daddy and mama got up and left her in the pew.

yes, LCMS and WELS practice close communion - you have to be confirmed in the church to be able to partake....you can, however, still go up and receive a blessing from the pastor....

and i think you'll find that most people would be more than willing to watch your little one while you go up for communion....

(oh, and my church does a children's sermon too - it's really wonderful, and sometimes quite funny! hearing those little kids answer pastor's questions, out of the mouths of babes, you know!)

 

[QuiltAngel]

QuiltAngel, we prefer to have them with us in the congregational service instead of dividing the kids from the parents.

They do have SS between the services and my kids where there ( two in one room, two in another ) but there were only 5 or 6 other kids in there.

I think we're going to start by going once a month for a little while.

Thanks for the encouragement.

Oops, didn't catch that about SS.

Being that we have only been in small churches the last 25 years, I am not convinced that bigger is always better. That is one thing that each person needs to find for their self.

 

[PreachersWife2004]

While there are two or three families who sit in the back, I prefer to sit up front with my brood. Basically, they see their daddy up in the pulpit and tend to behave a bit better. Of course, the converse of that is true, too, sometimes they see daddy and they cry because they can't go see him.

I've noticed when we sit in back the boys tend to act up quite a bit, using catching their cue from one of the other kids.

We don't have a nursery (Matt wouldn't encourage it, either. We believe that kids should be in the service - it's how they learn) but we have several areas where parents can take their children and still hear the service.

At our church in Detroit, our kids were the only kids. They had no fellowshipping with other little ones. In SS, my teen was the only kid who went. So we just knew that they wouldn't get that from church - they got it from the other area churches and Jake's school. We always did family nights and stuff. So you should check and see what is available around you as well.

 

[Aibrean]

Ours (LCMS) only has a cry room as well. We want children to be a part of the service and don't want to segment them. We have a SS in between services (and our second service is also liturgical). This is probably more common with liturgical Lutheran churches.

 

[DaRev]

I hope all your "cry rooms" don't have toys in them. We certainly do not want to encourage bad behavior in church by rewarding the kids with putting them in a toy room.

 

[alexnbethmom]

I hope all your "cry rooms" don't have toys in them. We certainly do not want to encourage bad behavior in church by rewarding the kids with putting them in a toy room.

i don't think ours does....i know it has a crib and a chair, and i think a couple stuffed animals and rattles....that's about it....except for the 2 pieces of furniture (and an ironing board, lol) it's pretty barren in there....

 

[PreachersWife2004]

I hope all your "cry rooms" don't have toys in them. We certainly do not want to encourage bad behavior in church by rewarding the kids with putting them in a toy room.

My home church had a cry room with a few books in it, a TV (our service was broadcast on closed circuit TV so we could still view it) a couch and a rocking chair. The books were religious in nature, but they were for kids. People were unofficially discouraged from taking toys in there.

When my oldest was naughty we went in that cry room long enough for him to get swatted, he would cry, then we went back up to church.

I firmly believe it's called the "cry room" for a reason!

 

[tagyourit]

One quick note I wanted to share that relates to my first service in an LCMS church this past Sunday.

I began to read about a dozen or so Confessional Lutheran blogs about a year ago and as I have read them over the past three days since our visit, the stuff they are writing about...it's really cool. It's like we all went to the same church/service.