How's it going,
Not so good for me. Thats why I googled christian Bipolar forum and ended up here. I was diagnosed BP 2 2 yrs ago and up to this point wass
85% out of denial. Well I recently come out of what I know now was a hypomanic episode and am now 100% out of denial. I guess thats a silver lining. I have been taking meds all through it, but I guess the problem w/Hypomanic symptons they are a bit trickier b/c they are reality based, ie, not psychotic delusions and way over the top symtoms of BP 1.
Whatever the case in the past 6 months I started a relationship w/a woman who was initially entertained by the behavior but it got old and she rightly stepped back from relationship. I also went to a car dealer to buy a part for my 4 yr old car and left 8 hours later w/a brand new car & an increase of 250.00 between car payment & insurance rate. I started taking graduate courses part-time(my work paying), but still buy books & of course I needed a new lap top. Plus takes away time I need inorder to work the 20 hours overtime a month my budget requires. I also attempted to start a new parachurch ministry which I invested alot of time and $400.00 toward setting up a website, eta. which is now pretty much dead in the water. And I did all this with already a pretty full plate as I serve at my church in a volunteer capacity about 8-10 hours a week. I am single but also have a grandson I like to see on aweekly basis.
I could add a few more stressers but I think you get the picture. The thing that has brought me to feeling desperate is the financial straits I've got myself into as I also took out a large loan for my sons college that's going to increase to 19% in January b/c my best laid plans to have it covered by January failed.
So I'm feeling shameful as similar cycles like this have occurred before. I'm also feeling fearful and hopeless about digging out of the financial mess I've made. I'm also bummed at the relationship I messed up. Another pattern I've repeated.
Anyway enough for now. Thanks for being there.
God Bless,
Jon
Anyway I crashed
Not so good for me. Thats why I googled christian Bipolar forum and ended up here. I was diagnosed BP 2 2 yrs ago and up to this point wass
85% out of denial. Well I recently come out of what I know now was a hypomanic episode and am now 100% out of denial. I guess thats a silver lining. I have been taking meds all through it, but I guess the problem w/Hypomanic symptons they are a bit trickier b/c they are reality based, ie, not psychotic delusions and way over the top symtoms of BP 1.
Whatever the case in the past 6 months I started a relationship w/a woman who was initially entertained by the behavior but it got old and she rightly stepped back from relationship. I also went to a car dealer to buy a part for my 4 yr old car and left 8 hours later w/a brand new car & an increase of 250.00 between car payment & insurance rate. I started taking graduate courses part-time(my work paying), but still buy books & of course I needed a new lap top. Plus takes away time I need inorder to work the 20 hours overtime a month my budget requires. I also attempted to start a new parachurch ministry which I invested alot of time and $400.00 toward setting up a website, eta. which is now pretty much dead in the water. And I did all this with already a pretty full plate as I serve at my church in a volunteer capacity about 8-10 hours a week. I am single but also have a grandson I like to see on aweekly basis.
I could add a few more stressers but I think you get the picture. The thing that has brought me to feeling desperate is the financial straits I've got myself into as I also took out a large loan for my sons college that's going to increase to 19% in January b/c my best laid plans to have it covered by January failed.
So I'm feeling shameful as similar cycles like this have occurred before. I'm also feeling fearful and hopeless about digging out of the financial mess I've made. I'm also bummed at the relationship I messed up. Another pattern I've repeated.
Anyway enough for now. Thanks for being there.
God Bless,
Jon
Anyway I crashed
Hello, welcome to CF. Enjoy the forums.
