Finding Inappropriate Photos / Texts on Boyfriend's Phone...

[Love2Travel]

I've been in a relationship for over a year. Recently, my boyfriend was at my house next to me, turning off his phone. I glanced down and noticed a selfie of a woman with a breast completely exposed in his text messages. I asked to see his phone, which he turned over. There was a string of inappropriate messages from her, to which he hadn't responded or tried to play it off. However, she then sent the semi-nude selfie, to which his response was "wow" and a string of emojis, including the thumbs up sign and the smiley face blowing kisses. Worst of all, he had responded while at my house. His excuse was that she was an old fling who had reached out to him earlier that week and that she had sent him the texts out of the blue, that he hadn't responded except when sending the last text, which he says he didn't think before responding. Previously, we had an issue 4 months into our relationship, when I found out he had downloaded a dating app while out of town with friends (to which his response was that his friend had downloaded it). I chose to believe and forgive him back then and said that there should never be anything that makes me question his fidelity ever again. Now, this situation has occurred. I believe he's never "physically" cheated but IMO, these texts are definitely signs of psychologically cheating, and unacceptable, especially considering our age (he's in his early 30s). Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Any advice welcomed. Thanks!

 

[rickster]

He needs to earn your trust. Only you can decide how that happens. I don't know how you can make that happen since it will likely require you having access to his phone. And you screening his calls/texts/web history does not create a healthy dynamic.

It sounds like you should break up with him since this is the second time something like this has happened.

 

[Sketcher]

You have not given us a reason to believe that he will stop.

 

[Note]

He does not sound faithful.

 

[DLYC]

I have been in a similar situation. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship for 3 years now. We met in a Christian youth camp but we live in different islands in the Philippines. He's 25 and I'm turning 23 soon. We are both Christians and very active in church ministries. I caught him sex chatting several times with other women (some single, some older, some even married) in his phone but I discover it in his phone months after when we meet. We both are not into those sexual acts and we do our best to live pure lives before the Lord so knowing that he did those things behind my back broke my heart and until now I still do not know what to do. He knows I know he did all those because I tell him whenever I catch him and yet he does them again after saying sorry. I already saw myself marrying him in the future and both our families are very close already. I really do not know what to do and I never talked to anyone about this because I am afraid that my Christian community will judge him and it will surely ruin his reputation because he is a leader in church. Please help me. I am at wit's end and my depression is slowly killing me inside.