Finding Balance

[DavyCrocket]

How do you find balance, between work and kids and daily stresses? How do you maintain the intimacy in your relationship?

I think too often we put our marriages last on the list. Yet our kids grow up and move away. We retire from our jobs - or may even loose them. And the daily stresses emerge again and again. Yet our spouse is always there - shouldn't we put more of our attention and energy on cultivating the most fruitfull life together with our partner?

But with reality of daily living, how is that accomplished?

 

[Leanna]

We plan dates and time alone.

 

[CarrieAg93]

We plan dates and time alone.

Us too. We also try to get away without the kids for at least a weekend every year. We try to do a devotional together. Right now we're doing Night Light for Couples by Dr. Dobson.

 

[InTheFlame]

At the moment, in my life?

Honestly, it just comes down to trying to take out a few minutes a day to do something nice for hubby. That's all I feel I have energy for, and I struggle to do that some days. But even that little amount has him beaming some days.

 

[MaraPetra]

We almost have to find time for one another by sacrificing time in other areas.

There's been quite a few nights when I stayed up past 11 pm, even though I had to be up at 4:30 am the next morning...My husband got off late on those days, but we still need time together, sans kids.

We try to do 'dates' at least once a month. It might be something as cheap as walking at a park together, or a dinner night.

We jealously guard the time we do have together. There was a time where we were giving so much time in between church, work, extended family, ministries, etc., that we had absolutely no time for one another. That's a big no-no nowadays. We've since given up some ministries so that we can actually have time together.

And there's finding little micro-moments of bonding within what we're doing. About a month or so ago, my hubby and I had an incredibly illuminating convo...While tearing down a treated-lumber deck we were moving to our house! I guess there's something about watching a sweaty woman wield a crowbar and a hammer that makes the poor guy just want to confess his deepest, darkest thoughts

Seriously, it's a hard balance to strike. We have 4 kids, we both work, we are both involved in church, and we both have hobbies. But all of this is nothing, if the marriage relationship is slowly unravelling from disuse.

 

[Zoomer]

It's hard and we are still trying to find the right balance. We both work full time, different hours but we do have some time in the evening together after the kids are in bed. We make the best out of it. We don't go out too often because we do not have anyone to baby sit.

 

[Mrs. Enigma]

We always put our marriage before wok, kids, church etc.--- but not before God.


We have sex a lot.


We play toghether a lot.


We hardly ever go on dates.


So far this has been working great.

 

[faith177]

We believe in an early bedtime for kids, we watch tv at night

 

[Missing]

We have a hard time finding balance sometimes because my husband's job is not something that sticks to a 9 to 5 schedule. He is a supervisor for an IT department and has a work cell phone/pager and has to coordinate 'major events' when systems go down or have problems. We are trying to extricate ourselves out of some of our extra activities so that we can have more time together without the pressure of always having to get something done as we are both dedicated people who recognize we have a habit of over committing ourselves. We're doing better at finding 'us' time, but it really depends on our schedules each week and if any systems have a melt down at his work.

 

[luvmyhubby]

We don't have kids, and I don't have a job outside of the home, so maybe for us it is a little easier. My husband has a demanding job that often requires working at home, late night and weekend phone calls and working away from home for a week at a time. When he has to bring work home, he makes his first priority when he gets home me. We spend time cuddling and talking about the day. By making that time for me, he keeps me from feeling neglected when he has to lock himself in the home office to work or make phone calls. Even though he spends time working out or going to play golf or softball or raquette ball with the guys, he always makes sure that he spends time with me first.

We make sure we have time to play together and we make sure that our intimacy does not get lost in the hectic schedule that he sometimes keeps.

Most of all, we start our day together. He leaves for work most mornings at 6 AM. I get up with him at 4:30 and we pray and have a devotional time together. We end the day with a prayer, and do a Bible study together a few times a week when he is home. And we talk. We talk about everything. I think talking to God and talking to each other helps keep us on track with each other.