Fill-In-The-Blank Game!

'Although, as your sidekick, I must apologise for my presumption in not notifying you of my Now-Much-reduced-ego's actions earlier, Sam91,' the doctor apologised to the superheroine. 'Also, as your sidekick, I feel obliged to notify that I don't think you are very pridefull at all'.

'Would you like me to have him sew in some extra patterns? Frills or buttons? Can I fetch you a coffee?' the sidekick asked.

@Sam91 didn't respond immediately, and although the doctor had been able to improve his unbearably ugly Grandly-Inflated-Ego to a mildy obnoxious Now-Much-Reduced-Ego, he still did suffer from impatience from time to time.

'She must be busy thinking of some superheroine scheme to start a new church somewhere', thought Doctor Sphinx excitedly. 'I wonder where it will be, and what bible passages we will start with?'

He instructed his Now-Much-Reduced-Ego to put frills into some of Sam91's yarmulkes. 'The frills would suit her', he thought to himself, 'and better to ask forgiveness than permission.'

He went back upstairs on deck to ensure Captain Firth still had enough ribs. He arrived just in time - the somewhat-portly-now Captain Firth had finished his previous supply, but seemed satisfied with the new batch the Doctor provided. 'Do you know where we're headed, Captain?', asked the Doctor humbly.

'Dunno yet, Doc,' answered @DavidFirth. 'Sam's got some plan to build a church somewhere, but who knows?'

The Doctor was about to seek @*LILAC's thoughts on the matter, but she was away with the purplish-looking daises. The little green leprechaun @GreenWizard, was as helpful as ever. The Doctor started to wonder what ever became of the koala and kookaburra he had given @Sam91. 'I wonder what she named them? I hope she didn't feed the koala after midnight? I wonder if she used the correct timezone to determine midnight...'

The thoughts kept bouncing around in his mind - it was as if a burden had been lifted from his heart since the trimming of his ego, and now he was able to think more clearly, more cheerfully, almost as if the ego was some sort of parasite... 'Which is odd,' he told himself 'because it's supposed to be one's mind that thinks, not one's heart.'

The doctor returned downstairs again to see if Sam91 was finished with strategising whatever masterplan her superior brain was devising.

Meanwhile @Sam91 locked herself in a safe room away from the slightly-mad-and-completely-deranged-relentless @Doctor.Sphinx , his much improved ego and the bossy @DavidFirth. She needed tranquility to ponder this how to solve this mighty fine mess that she had made, she did not much like the idea of having a hyper side-kick... infact she was even put off the idea of having a side-kick at all! (Even if it was a superiorly intelligent Sphinx)

Just then, the ever faithful @GreenWizard swiped the yarmulke-of-sackcloth-and-ashes-for-the-humbly-penitent off the Sphinx's head and put it on the captain's.

'Blimey! I've been such a greedy glutton full of pride! I've got to confess immediately and do proper penance. Lord, have mercy.' said the forlorn captain.

@Sam91 poked her nose out of the doorway and scurried to the bathroom. On the way back she caught sight of movement in the corridor and she dashed to her hideyhole. She looked behind her to see that no one was there. It could only have been her shadow. She was still unsettled from the good @Doctor.Sphinx 's odd behaviour.

She sat down and stroked Hezekiah He looked at Samantha with his big eyes. Samantha looked at her watch, 10:53pm, smiled and fished in her pockets for some hazelnuts. 'Here you go my little-one, I hope that you like these'.

Suddenly, Hezekiah started trembling... Samantha ran to the window. The moon had advanced through its path at least a few hours ahead of the Australian timepiece on her wrist. She was supposed to keep in sync with local time not Australian time. 'Oh... thanks Sphinxy! There have not been any good astronomers since before Galileo... How am I supposed to track the time by the stars?????' Raging out loud as if he could hear.

Hezekiah now looked like an evil, but slimy version of Abe from Oddworld. There were two, three of them, each with giant claws, unlike the oddly loveable video game creature. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abe_(Oddworld)

'Uh oh.... Sphiiiiiiiiiinxy, heeeeeeelp!!!!!!' she shrieked, terrified, much unlike herself, running up to the deck.

Wide-eyed she encountered @CtC who informed her, oblivious to her panic, that @Doctor.Sphinx had fallen asleep next to a crate over there so he'd covered him with GW's green cloak...

Meanwhile, the captain was in a hurry to get to shore so he could find a priest. He just felt terrible about how he had been treating people - and leprechauns and @Doctor.Sphinx - and was determined to stop his gluttony.

'Land ho! shouted the leprechaun from his perch in the crow's nest.

The captain planned to ask @Doctor.Sphinx and @Sam91 to help him find a priest. Then unexpectedly, @Sam91 came running onto the deck in a state of extreme panic with the Doc close behind, having been awakened from his dream of Nefertiti, well, nevermind about that.

@LaSorcia said, 'What on earth is going on?'

'Nooooooooo! We can not pull up to dock. We can not introduce these monsters to this land. Are you out of your mind?! If you feel bad now, how will you feel after wiping out civilisation as you know it?! I am sorry Captain but you stay here, with the rest of us!'

With that @Doctor.Sphinx woke up. Hearing the panic in the usually calm and collected Samantha's voice disturbed him. He decided that he could possibly rule out psychopathy seeing as that unshakeable demeanour is just a mask.

Then he noticed the cloak. 'Oh no! Is this what you are raving about @Sam91? Too right, who is the traitor who tried to kill me? I can't face having black death again, someone run me through with a sword!'

Sam91 ran over, grabbed hold of the crazed doctor.S's shirt and shook him. Hmmm surprisingly strong he thought. Then he looked at her eyes 'deranged too'.

'Doctor.Sphinx, it's the middle ages all over again! Help us please, you're the only one to have faced this before. We need you!' She pleaded, tears streaming down her mess of a face.

'Right we need bleach, posies, hankerchiefs, perfume, get my holy water out of my case. Bargepoles for pushing the dead overboard.' The clever doctor listed.

'You what?' Said Sam91. 'Um I'm not going below deck. Do you care so little for your friends that you would send them to face them alone?'

'Samantha' said the calm and unconcerned @CtC... (he hadn't seen the sight of those hideous creatures yet)... 'you do realise that Dr Twinkles is thinking that we have plague on board?'

'Sphinxy!' Cried Samantha, disappointedly. 'Yoy know that I have checked your blood three times now for antibodies against plague. I keep telling you that you are literally a walking vaccine, that if you let me I could synthesize a vaccine for the crew from you, only I guess that you worry that it would give us superpowers, or immortality. When will you trust me?'

'Samantha, have you quite forgotten what you got so worked up over?' Prompted @CtC patiently even if he was bemused at her INFJism.

'Oh Dr Sphinx,' she cried collapsing in a heap... 'it is dreadful, so awful! I can hardly say!'

'Yeah' Interrupted the good and noble captain. 'She will not let me leave the ship and is now turning on the waterworks and saying that if I leave a whole nation will be destroyed'..

The remarkably astute Sphinx solved the riddle.

'Below deck... them... middle ages... awful... dreadful... something that can can wreak havoc other than the plague, midfle of the night... you fed the koala! Sam... tut tut. I thought you were wise enough to solve the timezone conundrum. I did wonder how you were getting on with that. Leave it to me. I'll handle it. @Dirk1540, bring your wits with you, my sidekick is out of action and your ID seems somewhat legitimate. You're hired!'

The two bravely, heroicly, went off down the stairs. The pink of Dirk's tutu being the last to disappear out of sight.

The rest of crew tried to console Samantha...

[Cue @Doctor.Sphinx enter, stage right]

[Or you could tell of his heroic deeds, it is also a fine opportunity for @Dirk1540 to write something about Dr S, even @gennypearl could wind up dirk... However if @Doctor.Sphinx has the time it is certain to be a good read. Good night]

While all the insanity of this game continued, @gennypearl returned from the land of Oz. There in the comforts of her bed she awoke to see the faces of her many friends including @Sam91, @Samantha91, @Doctor.Sphinx, @christine40, @Lilac, @LaSorcia, @GreenWizard, @DavidFirth, @joyshirley, @CtC, @WannaWitness, even @Dirk1540.

"I remember you all from Oz. You were all acting mighty strange like I was in a dream," said @gennypearl. It was then that she suddenly woke up from waking up in her Oz dream, sitting on her couch. Next to her was her trusty pal @george the giraffe watching Jeopardy.

@george turned to @gennypearl and said,

'You were talking in your sleep again' said @george 'It sounds like those people are in trouble'.

'What makes you think it's true' asked Gennypearl cynically.

'I happen to suspect that @Dirk1540 and @GreenWizard wouldn't have left without you. It wouldn't surprise me if you had a clone or something on that ship. We need to save her!'

@gennypearl shrugged. 'You know what we should do? Cook some fish and vegetables, it is nearly lunchtime and I missed breakfast.'

Meanwhile on the ship...

The good doctor looked at his new sidekick, @Dirk1540 and shook his head. 'They sure don't make sidekicks like they used to', he thought to himself as he watched Dirk's pink tutu bobbing up and down. The dubious duo descended into the bowels of the ship. He didn't think he would have minded so much if it were Sam wearing the tutu, but it really didn't suit Dirk - the image not only offended his eyes, but turned his stomach. Clearly, this must be some sort of test, that @Sam91, in her heroinic wisdom, needed him to complete in order for him to prove to her his worthiness for being her sidekick.

'That must have been why she was crying', he thought. 'She thinks I will be unable to handle the monster and will forever be unworthy to be her sidekick. And she realises that she will be unable to build as many churches without my pyramid-laying hands.'

Doctor Sphinx's mildy obnoxious Much-Reduced-Ego also followed, mysteriously attached somehow to his heart - like a veruca is attached to a toad, only much bigger than a toad, and with a personality of its own. Unfortunately, every time the doctor considered how he would gloriously defeat the monster, and the others would celebrate his battle prowess, and Sam91 would mention how worthy he was to be her sidekick - the Much-Reduced-Ego, irrespective of its battle scars, became that much less battle-scarred and reduced.

The doctor sighed to himself. 'I'm going to be unbearable by the time I get back', he told Dirk, but Dirk only curtsied. The doctor looked away in disgust.

All of a sudden, a hideous, horrible monster dropped down on the duo. It had sharp teeth, red eyes, and greener, scalier skin than the most wicked of politicians. Doctor Sphinx, in the dim light, at first thought it might have been the @GreenWizard playing a little joke, but reconsidered on realising the monster didn't smell nearly half as bad as the leprechaun.

'Its probably what Sam turned Hezekiah into, after feeding him after midnight,' explained Doctor Sphinx to the bewildered and fearful Dirk.

On seeing Dirk's worried look at the sight of the monster, the good doctor quoted (from the ESV, as that's the version superheroines prefer) 'Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23 verse 4'. He wasn't sure if Dirk was comforted.

The monster seemed to have picked Dirk as its first target. Doctor Sphinx hypothesised that perhaps the monster had read Sun Tsu's best-seller, the Art of War, and based on what it had read, had decided to attack the weakest enemy - the man with the tutu. If only Sam91 were here - she would have a field-day with the scientific discoveries she would behold. While the Doctor dwelled on such thoughts, Dirk evaded the monster's first strike skillfully, but unfortunately, his tutu did not. Doctor Sphinx shielded his eyes with his hand in disgust for the second time that evening.

'Here Dirk - take these handkerchiefs to make yourself decent and begone', shouted the doctor angrily. He wondered if Sam91 didn't send Dirk as she knew he would be a bigger challenge than the monster. The second swipe of the monster hit the doctor square in the arm, its sharp claws tearing a hunk of his flesh. He yelped in pain and frustration, but mostly frustration. He also imagined how the others would celebrate him, when the monster was slain. The Much-Reduced-Ego grew a little larger, some of its battle scars dissolving.

The doctor consulted his inventory to determine what assets he had in his possession. 'Hmmmm.... Bleach, posies, perfume, holy water and a barge-pole.'

Sam91 had prepared him well. If only he hadn't had to waste his handkerchiefs to clothe Dirk - the ugliest ballerina he'd ever set eyes on - to save his sight. Doctor Sphinx was able to evade the next strike of the monster, and he in turn sent a shower of bleach in the direction of the monster's eyes. It howled in pain, but this did not stop its sharp teeth biting off a piece of the Doctor's leg. The doctor again imagined the triumphal songs the CF crew would sing about his defeat of the beast, and the Somewhat-Reduced-Ego grew a little larger again, with most of its battle-scars visibly healed.

The monster struck again with a blow to the head, stunning the doctor momentarily. The doctor returned fire with a volley of posies, perfume and holy water. Apart from making the monster look and smell a little better, the attack didn't do much. He envisaged how @christine40 may even make a special visit to celebrate his grand victory, and his Grandly-Inflated-Ego was back to its old self. The doctor groaned - 'How was he going to explain this to Sam91?'

Taking the last item from the doctor's inventory - the barge-pole - the fully-recovered, Grandly-Inflated-Ego marched up to the monster, and inserted the barge-pole into an ignoble part of the beast, in such a way as to quickly smite it.

'But how willl I explain this turn of events to Sam91...' worried the doctor.

'Since when do superheros explain anything to sidekicks?' asked the Grandly-Inflated-Ego. And the doctor realised the Grandly-Inflated-Ego was right - Sam91 would be honoured to be the sidekick of such a hero, the others grateful to be his minions... Although maybe he wouldn't take Dirk. 'Minions like Dirk only serve to ruin one's reputation,' he thought to himself, as the Grandly-Inflated-Ego carried the doctor back to the others, bloody but victorious.

Unfortunately, for the doc the rest of the crew didn't see what @Sam91 did, nor had she informed him that there were three monsters.

@Doctor.Sphinx and his ego's retreat was blocked by the appearance of the remaining aforementioned beasts. Both very angry at the barbaric and unnecessary demise of poor Hezekiah. All locals know that the koala is tamed by singing and waltzing! If he'd have just consulted @joyshirley, then all this mayhem could have been spared. Joy (or is it Shirley?) after consoling sam91 had learned of the chaos below the deck and valiantly arrived on scene to treat poor Hezekiah bringing @Dirk1540 in tow to soothe the other two with his nimble feet. She shook her head at the Doctor, 'get to work doc. There is internal bleeding, this koala is going into shock...' He landed on the floor with a bump, his wounds agonisingly sore from the jolt. Unfortunately he was on his own, the ego now resembling his pet amoeba both in size, and aptitude.

The doctor wasn't quite sure what had happened. He was in pain, JoyShirley was waltzing and singing something about a girl named Matilda, Hezekiah the koala was in a stable condition, Dirk1540 was wearing normal clothes again, and his Grandly-Inflated-Ego had been reduced to the size of a pet amoeba, in both size and aptitude. Despite the pain, he breathed a sigh of relief.

He suspected Sam91 the superheroine, had been involved somehow, as he saw her removing a yarmulke of undetermined purpose, and replacing a barge-pole safely on the floor.

'I hope I passed the test, and that I can now be your sidekick?' he asked Sam91 hopefully, flicking the Amoeba-Sized-Ego from his presence into a nearby trash bin.

'Oh sidekicks-schmidekicks. Let's just be friends!' She held out her hand but he was reluctant to shake it... Had she been fratenising with the leprechaun again? Was there a hidden electric shock device? Was she going to take advantage of his wounds and judo-throw him?...

Sam91 said:

'Oh sidekicks-schmidekicks. Let's just be friends!' She held out her hand but he was reluctant to shake it... Had she been fratenising with the leprechaun again? Was there a hidden electric shock device? Was she going to take advantage of his wounds and judo-throw him?...

Click to expand...

The So-Small-It-Was-Almost-Embarrassing-Ego whispered into the Doctor's ear, but he heardly heard it above the sound of silence.

'What is there to lose?' he thought to himself.

He held out a hand for the heroine to shake, or do what she would do.

With her other hand she placed one of @Dirk1540 's handkerchiefs over the mess of the Sphinx's nose.

The good @Doctor.Sphinx tried to protest but as he inhaled to speak he succumbed to the chloroform. @Sam91 smiled as he was put out of his misery and dutifully started patching up the unfortunate doctor once again....

Although he had very pleasant dreams, and began to think that perhaps he might not be so unfortunate afterall.

'I mean,' he said to himself, 'what other sphinxes get such first-class patchwork from superheroines... or was that sidekicks... or was it friends?' He decided at that moment that even if Sam91 had been fratenising with the leprechaun again, or hidden an electric shock device in his yarmulke, or wished to take advantage of his wounds and simply judo-throw him, she still was most likely trustworthy.

'Sure, I might end up a little worse for wear, but its worth it,' he told himself, as he drifted further into unconsciousness, and Sam91, wearing the yarmulke of unicorn-surgery-for-dummies, or was it the yarmulke of painful-but-spiritually-beneficial-minor-surgery - the doctor couldn't tell - continued to do what Sam91 does best.

When Doctor Sphinx awoke, he felt about 6000 years younger.

'Is Sam91 a dentist as well?', he wondered, as his tongue felt around the roof of his mouth, to find some long-ago lost teeth had been replaced with new ones. The mess of his nose had been fixed (again), and now looked very large and distinguished, to match his yarmulke. The bite-holes from the gremlin had been all patched up, and his unwanted ego had been mercifully removed - or so he hoped.

'I could get used to being sidekick to a superheroine like this', he thought to himself. 'Now, how to convince said superheroine that she still needs a sidekick,' he thought cunningly.

Someone walked into the room - the doctor looked up expectantly, but it was only @DavidFirth.

'Oh, hello Captain' said the Doctor, disappointedly.

'Doctor, you're alive!' exclaimed the Captain. 'The crew and I were beginning to fear the worst. If we didn't have @Sam91, you'd probably be an exhibit in her museum by now.'

The doctor frowned at this train of logic. 'But how would I be in her museum, if she wasn't here to know I was... uhhh... available?' he asked. 'I mean, I wouldn't even have descended into the bowels of the ship to fight the monster, if Sam were not here...'

The Captain tapped his forehead. 'Ah - these superheroines - they have a way of knowing things,' he said, probably because he didn't have an answer for the Sphinx's riddle.

Sam91 sidled into the room after hearing that exchange. She felt a little guilty.

"Sorry folks, I protest. I'm not a heroine, definitely not a superheroine and you two shouldn't think of me more highly than you ought.

I have been manipulating situations to try to outplay the Dr.S. I have been setting up disasters in advance, predicting peoples next moves ready to strike. Not only that I coveted his surgical skills so bought the relevant yarmulkes via mail order, swatted up on wiki to gain his skills.

I wasn't an expert at rib cooking. I observed and googled recipes.

I wasn't skillful at making fun of others but improved after seeing how the doc bashed GW, even if it still makes me feel guilty I expanded that into embarassing @Dirk1540 .

I learned the art of flattery and naming things with long hyphenated names. I am nothing but a fraud; just a little-bit-smart one.

I beseech you two to stop the uptalking or I'll go back to my hideyhole. You saw what happened last time.

Isaiah 5:20 says Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! KJV version as I know that is your preference Sphinxy.

Please let us praise the Lord, instead. If you do want to notice something good about me let it be for the fruit of the spirit. Please see Christ through my deeds, if not I ask that you take me aside and show me the relevant scripture. I'm not a heroine and I do not want to have a side kick. I want to be a living sacrifice unto the Lord Almighty. I don't want any glory, He alone is worthy of it.'

@Doctor.Sphinx and captain @DavidFirth understood well those sentiments.

Just then @CtC snook in laughing his head off. @GreenWizard dashed in too, sniggering uncontrollably.

'What have you two been doing?' Asked the shrewd Captain.

'We have put itching powder in @LaSorcia 's socks. Go have a look...'

As the Captain and Sphinxy left the room there was a crash and a thud.

Samantha investigated and saw a bucket which had been filled with water and the captain lying on the floor, with a gash to his head.

It didn't take a genius to work out what had happened. GW and @CtC had set up a series of pranks, this one had gone drastically wrong. Instead of tipping out the water, the pail had landed squarely, on the captain's head, water intact.

Sam91, and Dr S stared at @CtC. The others came up and silently blamed him too. @LaSorcia struggling to stay composed, pinkie finger jittering about and tea sloshing inside her teacup, also tried to glare at him.

@Sam91 asked @CtC 'How are you going to explain this away then?' (Lol)