Fiance was raped and possibly pregnant. (ignore other topic)

[CounselorForChrist]

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But that just means getting her to go to a place where there are no people around. Chances are if the women would put up a fight they would stop. But the women does not really do anything to stop them, so they take advantage of her. He may not even consider it to be rape at all, but she does. For example my first wife was raped when she was working in a nursing home. There was a guy that worked there and she went with him to a room no one was using to eat lunch with him one day. He pulled off her pants and took advantage of her before she even knew what was happening. A year later her and I got a divorce and I have had people tell me that could have been a major part of it. She could not talk to me about it until after we were separated.

EXactly, thank you. And at the same time sorry to hear that. With our honeymoon coming up I am nervous because I don't want to touch her the wrong way and give her flashbacks of what happened. I know my mom told me when she would have sex with my dad sometimes she would punch him because somethings he would do would bring back that memory and feeling of terror. She didn't mean to punch him but she would suddenly picture her dad.

Where shes from women are very submissive and when your alone in Manila its even worse because men have lots of gangs there. My fiance needs time to heal (while I help of course). So its why I am leaving the subject alone. If shes feels better in time she can tell me about it. If not thats ok too. I am here to love her and help her through this.

Today has been hard for me especially because I realized she wouldn't have been raped if I didn't have her go to Manila to send me her passport copies and all that. Now I have guilt over it. I try to love and protect her but instead this happens. I know it wasn't my fault and I couldn't have known it but still. I'll be so happy in March when I can go there and just hold her for hours on end.

Hello my friend, I've been away for awhile, but I just want you to know you are in my prayers. Bless you for being strong in Christ for her!

Hi MotherPrayer! Glad your back on here now! Thanks much for the prayers. We need them!

 

[vanillaicecream]

I am so sorry to hear this. It's not everyday that rape happens in the Philippines (I think). You're lucky enough your fiance is safe even after it happened because in most cases, the rapist kills the woman. Or the rapist threatens to kill the woman if she speaks out. Whew.

It's very true about the "rape stigma", it's different here in the Philippines, being a conservative country and all, because "purity" before marriage is important. But today, Filipinos are becoming more and more open-minded and liberal, so in my opinion, she should really just tell her family and call the police/Gabriela. They are the closest people that can really really help and protect her at this time. She should surround herself with love and support. And she needs to make sure cases like this won't happen to other women again.

Praying for you and your fiance.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Thanks much. For now she seems to be moving on and leaving what happened behind her. I promised not to talk about it again until (or if) she wants too. It has made her nervous though about going to Manila again since she is to meet me there in March since I have an appointment at the embassy. I told her just to stay near the airport or somewhere safe until the jet comes in.

She went to her doctor 2 days ago but didn't tell him what happened and didn't get a test done. So I'll just keep praying the guy used protection. Although she said her (possibly TMI) period (which is light and short) felt like it was coming and she had a drop of blood. But nothing else. SO hopefully thats just from the stress and not because shes pregnant.

 

[whitebeaches]

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