Feudal Family and I just want to love them while we still have time

[thowra]

Hello there, I am a devout Christian, but my normally functional and loving family is driving me to the edge.

God bless you if you read this because it's quite a long story.

My father, mother and sister and I all love each other very much and tell each other every day. We're a very close family as we're extremely poor so my sister and myself have never been able to go out (we also live in a very rural and remote area). My sister recently got a job- full time and at her workplace she fell in love.

My sister and I are best friends, sisterchums! I mean we used to chat through the shower curtain while the other showered, no one understood our jokes and she always said that I'd always be her best friend.

She works all the time now and when she comes home it's only to shower and then my father has to drive her to her boyfriend's house, to pick her up extremely late at night when he doesn't like driving at night.

He and my sister don't talk any more because whatever the other says makes them angry for days. He stomps around the house, speculating on lies she's supposedly telling him but I just love him so much that I can't blame him for feeling that way.

My father has been making snide remarks now and it really upsets me because I shouldn't be put in the position of choosing sides. I love them both so much and I feel as though they're wasting precious time that could be spent loving!
It makes me so sad that I can't concentrate on school.
I can't speak to my mother because she gets nervous and upset if I tell her how everyone's feeling and I can't take sides. I don't have any friends that really care or can do anything, I don't have a boyfriend.
I feel very much alone. If I didn't have Christ then I'm sure I'd slip back into depression- the very thing that brought me to Jesus.

I suppose I'd just love some advice on how to handle this if you've gone through it.

Thank you for reading, I really do love you through Jesus.

Gem

 

[PaxThroughX]

Hello there, I am a devout Christian, but my normally functional and loving family is driving me to the edge.

God bless you if you read this because it's quite a long story.

My father, mother and sister and I all love each other very much and tell each other every day. We're a very close family as we're extremely poor so my sister and myself have never been able to go out (we also live in a very rural and remote area). My sister recently got a job- full time and at her workplace she fell in love.

My sister and I are best friends, sisterchums! I mean we used to chat through the shower curtain while the other showered, no one understood our jokes and she always said that I'd always be her best friend.

She works all the time now and when she comes home it's only to shower and then my father has to drive her to her boyfriend's house, to pick her up extremely late at night when he doesn't like driving at night.

He and my sister don't talk any more because whatever the other says makes them angry for days. He stomps around the house, speculating on lies she's supposedly telling him but I just love him so much that I can't blame him for feeling that way.
My father has been making snide remarks now and it really upsets me because I shouldn't be put in the position of choosing sides. I love them both so much and I feel as though they're wasting precious time that could be spent loving!
It makes me so sad that I can't concentrate on school.
I can't speak to my mother because she gets nervous and upset if I tell her how everyone's feeling and I can't take sides. I don't have any friends that really care or can do an ything, I don't have a boyfriend.
I feel very much alone. If I didn't have Christ then I'm sure I'd slip back into depression- the very thing that brought me to Jesus.

I suppose I'd just love some advice on how to handle this if you've gone through it.

Thank you for reading, I really do love you through Jesus.

Gem

Well with any best friend and/or family, you will have issues such as what you listed. That goes to show that we dont inhabit a perfect world. It only increases ones passion to be home, that is if they are in all with the Creator. My advice is this, pray. Read the scriptures. Spend time with the one you know will never leave you or forsake you because of drama.

I would also talk to your sister about this issue. If she is still your "best friend," so to speak, then she will listen to what you are saying. Let her know that this scenario that was caused (not blaming anyone) is not cool and you want the loving relationship of everyone in your family restored. I am no expert, but talking to your sister is probably the best case, since your parents dont want to talk about it because of the frustrations just from your circumstance. Your parents also probably have alot of stress added since your sister got a job so that could be another reason why your family may seemed split apart. Just communicate as much as you can, as well as with G-d.

 

[Girder of Loins]

Hello there, I am a devout Christian, but my normally functional and loving family is driving me to the edge.

God bless you if you read this because it's quite a long story.

My father, mother and sister and I all love each other very much and tell each other every day. We're a very close family as we're extremely poor so my sister and myself have never been able to go out (we also live in a very rural and remote area). My sister recently got a job- full time and at her workplace she fell in love.

My sister and I are best friends, sisterchums! I mean we used to chat through the shower curtain while the other showered, no one understood our jokes and she always said that I'd always be her best friend.

She works all the time now and when she comes home it's only to shower and then my father has to drive her to her boyfriend's house, to pick her up extremely late at night when he doesn't like driving at night.

He and my sister don't talk any more because whatever the other says makes them angry for days. He stomps around the house, speculating on lies she's supposedly telling him but I just love him so much that I can't blame him for feeling that way.

My father has been making snide remarks now and it really upsets me because I shouldn't be put in the position of choosing sides. I love them both so much and I feel as though they're wasting precious time that could be spent loving!
It makes me so sad that I can't concentrate on school.
I can't speak to my mother because she gets nervous and upset if I tell her how everyone's feeling and I can't take sides. I don't have any friends that really care or can do anything, I don't have a boyfriend.
I feel very much alone. If I didn't have Christ then I'm sure I'd slip back into depression- the very thing that brought me to Jesus.

I suppose I'd just love some advice on how to handle this if you've gone through it.

Thank you for reading, I really do love you through Jesus.

Gem

You must remember that this is the fault of no one specific. It always starts out small, then each side escalates. It has happened in my family(to me specifically). Both sides need to sit down, forgive each other, and both need to work on rebuilding their relationship with one another, not proving the other side is wrong. Continue praying, continue studying His words, and continue showing your family love.

 

[Gath]

You must remember that this is the fault of no one specific.

Definitely have to repeat this. If either side tries to blame the other, it will not end well. I'd say your best chance for a peaceful resolution will come from talking it over. Learn all you can about your sister and you dad's situation, and then see if you can up with a compromise. I don't want to jump to false conclusions, but it seems like your sister spends a lot of time away from home. If you could persuade her to spend some more time at home with your dad instead of at her boyfriend's, you may be able to start working towards a solution.

 

[thowra]

Thank you, everyone~!

God bless