Is It a Sin to Have a Fetish? What Does the Bible Say?

[soldierundercommand]

Are there any other born again Christians who struggle to surrender a life-long fetish of any kind?

For whatever reason, I began noticing at age 5 that I had an attraction to women's feet. By age 8 or 9 I began realizing that I would get aroused somehow by any TV shows or movies where women were tied up....

It all led to a monstrously indulgent two decades of destructive living once I hit 18 or so. These fetishes grew out of control and ended up being what I believe God used to bring me to the cross 7 years ago....

BUT, even today, I am hounded by these desires and wonder in defeat why God didn't wipe away these desires from me as He does with say a former drug addicted person who no longer has the desire for drugs once converted?

I've sinned on the computer going to very evil sites 12 times this calendar year....always when my countenance is down (like Cain was warned). And be sure that what simply looks so innocent as a female foot ends up taking you to the most evil websites in a matter of no time.

It's demoralizing to know that I may have this battle however many years I have left, and to be quite honest, though I detest this sin, I am so wearied by the never ending temptation. I admit that it's crossed my mind on many occasions that I don't love Jesus as much as I like to think I do. I am floored by His mercy and love for me, but obviously I don't return it back to Him as I should which leads to all kinds of other Christian walk issues.

Does anyone else who is a Christian struggle with the dreaded fetish? If you had one, did God take it away completely? Is it possible to even BE a Christian if this is something you haven't gotten victory over?

Thank you in advance to any who reply and share.

 

[SalvationAtYourFingertips]

First of all, you do love Jesus, and that is evident by the fact that you try hard not to fall into this. However, God loves to wait, and this will be something that you will struggle with for a little while longer. When the time comes, this will disappear, but you shouldn't be waiting for this. God's sacrifice has given you everything you will ever need right now. Enjoy this time, and know that God is with you at every step. When the moment comes, this will disappear. Til then, keep loving Him.

 

[manitouscott]

I am guessing that there are other things that God did take from you all at once, and yet other things that hang on besides the foot thing.

For me God has let me walk through most of my sins, and they still tempt me long after they have ceased to become habits. I would say MOST of the sins in my life have been gradually over time eliminated from being regular habit, the Holy Spirit convicting me of them one by one.

Alcohol addiction went away very quickly, but anger, rage, malice, wrath, lust/masturbation, pride, ETC ETC; these are all still in process. God is working on them with me.

It sure is frustrating that I can't stop all these sins. Man, the more I think about it, the less and less right I have to point at other people and say sinner.

 

[kton16]

Theres nothing wrong with what you like, as long as in marriage with your wife and ONLY your wife. The best thing to do is fast from temptation and for God to show you how to abstain from it till marriage. I have a foot fetish for females, im not perfect but when I feel the "want" to rise up of any sexual desires I pray and ask God for help or when I feel weak I fast and it helps ALOT! Also to pray for understanding of WHEN you do it. So therefore if your sad or angry you might be more appealed to looking at those sites. Pray about that everyday so therefore you kept on guard.

Godbless!

 

[SalvationAtYourFingertips]

All fetishes are bad, it's worth knowing. All the pleasure that comes from sex, is for the spirit. I am not talking about the physical pleasure, I am talking about the spiritual pleasure. Fetishes are un-Godly and will only please the flesh. True sex, pleases our spirits.

 

[Sketcher]

Your icon say that you are married. What does your wife think of this? Does she accomodate you?

 

[soldierundercommand]

Theres nothing wrong with what you like, as long as in marriage with your wife and ONLY your wife. The best thing to do is fast from temptation and for God to show you how to abstain from it till marriage. I have a foot fetish for females, im not perfect but when I feel the "want" to rise up of any sexual desires I pray and ask God for help or when I feel weak I fast and it helps ALOT! Also to pray for understanding of WHEN you do it. So therefore if your sad or angry you might be more appealed to looking at those sites. Pray about that everyday so therefore you kept on guard.

Godbless!

Yeah, am married to a woman who never was interested in our marriage from the start 19 years ago. She has he own issues which she is not willing to even acknowledge let alone seek help for from her childhood. But no, she just isn't here in the marriage and already told me she's not interested. Her career is what makes her happy.

I hope to get to that point where you are when the temptation rises up....it seems right now when it's raging that I give in without much of a fight because like you said, my countenance is through the floor. I know that it has been 12 times this calendar year, but 12 times may as well be 112 times to me. Thanks for your input

 

[soldierundercommand]

Your icon say that you are married. What does your wife think of this? Does she accomodate you?

Yes, I AM married....my wife isn't.

Ironically she used to indulge me in the earlier years, but truthfully, though it became less fun for her, it just served to drive me deeper and deeper into porn addiction at the time....this was in the mid to late 90's.

But she was never into the marriage from the jump. She's a dyed in the wool career woman first and foremost.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Theres nothing wrong with a fetish in a marriage assuming it doesn't involve a third person, animal...etc. And assuming your spouse is ok with it. Anyone who says fetishes are wrong needs bible verses that back that up because my bible says sex in marriage is a good thing and most things you do are acceptable to as long as they don't go against the bible.

Not to mention after years of marriage couples tend to spice things up to keep the intimacy going. Without being able to spice it up, sex would get boring and minds and eyes might begin to wonder to where they shouldn't.

 

[soldierundercommand]

Theres nothing wrong with a fetish in a marriage assuming it doesn't involve a third person, animal...etc. And assuming your spouse is ok with it. Anyone who says fetishes are wrong needs bible verses that back that up because my bible says sex in marriage is a good thing and most things you do are acceptable to as long as they don't go against the bible.

Not to mention after years of marriage couples tend to spice things up to keep the intimacy going. Without being able to spice it up, sex would get boring and minds and eyes might begin to wonder to where they shouldn't.

Yeah, as I was sharing with a couple others up the thread, the marriage is irrelevant because my wife isn't in it. She lives a whole separate life, so there isn't any sex and hasn't been for 16 years.

But regardless, the fetish leads to lusting, even though it's after a stupid body part..but from there it goes into damsel in distress stuff, so yes, it is very wicked for a Christian to be haunted by.

 

[soldierundercommand]

All fetishes are bad, it's worth knowing. All the pleasure that comes from sex, is for the spirit. I am not talking about the physical pleasure, I am talking about the spiritual pleasure. Fetishes are un-Godly and will only please the flesh. True sex, pleases our spirits.

Agreed, fetishes ARE ungodly and only serve the flesh. And this is coming from someone who has over 40 years experience. Even in the marriage it was an idol that took away from the whole love making.

 

[SalvationAtYourFingertips]

Bible verses that back up fetishes being evil are the following: Philippians 2:3-4

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others

When you go out to please a fetish, who are you doing it for? For God? Nah, not at all. For your partner? No, not at all. A fetish is a desire that wants to be pleased. It is a desire, that means it's fulfillment pleases only the person with the desire. This is different from God's desires which please both Him, us, and everyone else.

 

[Romanseight2005]

Were you doing porn in the early days of your marriage? Have you considered that could be the reason for your wife's disconnect?

 

[REPHAIAHPEDAHEL]

Romans 5:17 AMP
For if because of one man's trespass (lapse, offense) death reigned through that one, much more surely will those who receive God's overflowing grace (unmerited favor) and the free gift of righteousness putting them into right standing with Himself reign as kings in life through the one Man Jesus Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).

 

[Thunder Peel]

Everyone struggles with something. For some it's alcohol or drugs, for others it's pornography or anger or selfishness or harsh words. Often God will not automatically take away our evil desires but will instead use them to teach us two things:

1. We must lean on Him and Him alone
2. It can be used as a witness and testimony to others who are struggling

I personally don't see all fetishes and preferences as bad, so long as you and your spouse can enjoy them together and don't place them as an idol in your relationship. Most couples enjoy trying new things or exploring new options from time to time and the Bible gives the wife and husband quite a bit of freedom to explore and spice things up, so long as they do so together in privacy and as long as it's consensual. That's one of the elements that can make sex and marriage fun for both people. As you've already discovered, turning to lust and websites to fulfill those desires is harmful and won't help your walk with God or your marriage. However, God can use this as an opportunity to draw you closer to Him and also to minister to those who are going through a similar situation.

 

[Romanseight2005]

1 Peter 3:7

7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered .
KJV

1 Peter 3:7

7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered .
KJV


I am not trying to make you feel worse. You need to see the relationship between how you have treated your wife, and some of your problems now.

 

[Romanseight2005]

Everyone struggles with something. For some it's alcohol or drugs, for others it's pornography or anger or selfishness or harsh words. Often God will not automatically take away our evil desires but will instead use them to teach us two things:

1. We must lean on Him and Him alone
2. It can be used as a witness and testimony to others who are struggling

I personally don't see all fetishes and preferences as bad, so long as you and your spouse can enjoy them together and don't place them as an idol in your relationship. Most couples enjoy trying new things or exploring new options from time to time and the Bible gives the wife and husband quite a bit of freedom to explore and spice things up, so long as they do so together in privacy and as long as it's consensual. That's one of the elements that can make sex and marriage fun for both people. As you've already discovered, turning to lust and websites to fulfill those desires is harmful and won't help your walk with God or your marriage. However, God can use this as an opportunity to draw you closer to Him and also to minister to those who are going through a similar situation.

I agree that a fetish isn't the problem. It has to do with the place of importance that the fetish has.

 

[soldierundercommand]

Were you doing porn in the early days of your marriage? Have you considered that could be the reason for your wife's disconnect?

No, if you can believe it, my wife doesn't think porn is a big deal.

 

[hijklmnop]

I think you should seek out professional help for your sex addiction. There are counselors who specialize in this, and 12 step groups.

 

[Life2Christ]

BUT, even today, I am hounded by these desires and wonder in defeat why God didn't wipe away these desires from me as He does with say a former drug addicted person who no longer has the desire for drugs once converted?

The answer to your question is this:
1.) Read Galatians 5 (Ch. 13-26)
2.) Then read Romans 8 (whole chapter)
The question is not: why doesn't this temptation leave me? The question to ask is: when I fall away from God, how must I get myself back on the narrow road.

There is no condemnation for those who abide in Christ, meaning...you're going to fall in sin (that is a given) but how bad do you want to be in Christ again? The bible is constantly telling us to renew our minds with the Word. You don't read the Word...you will fall away. No such thing a "false conversion" only those who do not renew their minds and strenghten their faith.