fellowship

[biblicalbro]

Hi, I am a firstimer on this site and this is officially my first post. blessings to all.

I have made this thread for the purpose of seeking some insight as I feel like I cannot take it anymore. one of the most heartwrenching things for a believer is to see division in the body of christ. cliques, gossip, favoritism, politics, you name it. when I see ppl at my church, they would rather socialize than fellowship. it's like they're completely different ppl than what they profess to be.

I am one of the few who seek to establish fellowship and communion with other believers, but it's always the same old excuse, such as "I'm busy" or "something came up", or the typical "I forgot". sure we have busy lives but that does not exclude us from the biblical mandate to fellowship.

Something that I've noticed much recently is that secular ppl are always spending time together. I always see them together , whether it's 2 ppl or as a small group , at the park, restaurant, beach, etc.. having fun. and yet, I don't see that at church. I'm practically alone. Now I know some of you may say "God is with me", and that's true. but in the physical sense, I need fellowship, not to complete me but because that is what God calls us to do. or those ppl that say "you don't need anyone, you need God". We're not meant to be alone!!! it's like the church doesn't know the meaning of fellowship anymore.. compare that to the NT church, these ppl, though imperfect showed evidence of growing fellowship.

I have prayed, tried talking to new ppl at church but it's always the same thing. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of the unwelcome spirit that has been present at the church. Friendship is always a two way street. But I noticed that I am the glue to the relationship. I'm always the one saying hello, or sending a text, or proposing a hangout, otherwise, no one talks to me! it's a major pet peeve of mine, with no end. Over a period of time, I have considered leaving, not the faith, but to another church. Not a perfect church as I will never find that but one that shows fruit of spiritual growth such as fellowship , prayer, and study of scripture. where ppl are actually on fire for God, not spiritually lethargic congregants. This has been something building up overtime in me, and I don't know what to do anymore. I need friends, friends that I can speak to on a regular basis, seeking God. I don't have that, and it breaks my heart. In the body of Christ, there should never be chopped liver. Yet the neglect perists....

 

[BFine]

Hello and Welcome to the forum!

Let me ask this....
Have sat down with your minister/church leader and discussed the sad state
of affairs that you are witnessing within the body of believers that you
are part of?

 

[jsimms615]

I'm sorry your having trouble connecting with the people in your church. Does your church have any home groups? Sometimes people feel more comfortable hanging out at home than at church. If not, I would look into whether or not there are some home church study groups in your area or home churches.

 

[Tigger45]

First of all welcome to CF

Second from 'my' experience people are people socially weather they are believers or not. MY hope is that you start finding good friends.

 

[Albion]

Hi...and welcome!

This has been something building up overtime in me, and I don't know what to do anymore. I need friends, friends that I can speak to on a regular basis, seeking God.

Change churches.

 

[Scottmcc1]

Find people that are interested in the same things you are.

Or volunteer to help the poor in some way. You may find friends with your fellow workers.

Find a church that has small group meetings that some of your peers would attend.

 

[ValleyGal]

Invite someone out for coffee....be interested in them, in their lives. Be inquisitive. When you find someone you connect with, invite them out again. When you initiate, you will find that they will start initiating back.

 

[Mister_Al]

Have you considered that the Lord might be trying to tell you something?



Alan

 

[Pal Handy]

Hi, I am a firstimer on this site and this is officially my first post. blessings to all.

I have made this thread for the purpose of seeking some insight as I feel like I cannot take it anymore. one of the most heartwrenching things for a believer is to see division in the body of christ. cliques, gossip, favoritism, politics, you name it. when I see ppl at my church, they would rather socialize than fellowship. it's like they're completely different ppl than what they profess to be.

I am one of the few who seek to establish fellowship and communion with other believers, but it's always the same old excuse, such as "I'm busy" or "something came up", or the typical "I forgot". sure we have busy lives but that does not exclude us from the biblical mandate to fellowship.

Something that I've noticed much recently is that secular ppl are always spending time together. I always see them together , whether it's 2 ppl or as a small group , at the park, restaurant, beach, etc.. having fun. and yet, I don't see that at church. I'm practically alone. Now I know some of you may say "God is with me", and that's true. but in the physical sense, I need fellowship, not to complete me but because that is what God calls us to do. or those ppl that say "you don't need anyone, you need God". We're not meant to be alone!!! it's like the church doesn't know the meaning of fellowship anymore.. compare that to the NT church, these ppl, though imperfect showed evidence of growing fellowship.

I have prayed, tried talking to new ppl at church but it's always the same thing. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of the unwelcome spirit that has been present at the church. Friendship is always a two way street. But I noticed that I am the glue to the relationship. I'm always the one saying hello, or sending a text, or proposing a hangout, otherwise, no one talks to me! it's a major pet peeve of mine, with no end. Over a period of time, I have considered leaving, not the faith, but to another church. Not a perfect church as I will never find that but one that shows fruit of spiritual growth such as fellowship , prayer, and study of scripture. where ppl are actually on fire for God, not spiritually lethargic congregants. This has been something building up overtime in me, and I don't know what to do anymore. I need friends, friends that I can speak to on a regular basis, seeking God. I don't have that, and it breaks my heart. In the body of Christ, there should never be chopped liver. Yet the neglect perists....

We are living in difficult times.

People are not as open, trusting or giving as they once were.

The world is getting worse.

Evil is being called good and good is shunned as evil.

The love of many for God and His people are growing cold and is being
replaced with a shallow Christianity where people are more interested
in receiving than they are in giving.

Jesus told us that such a time would come before His return.

All I can suggest is that you pray and ask God to have his way in your life
as you forgive others of their failures as you hang on to and cling to Christ.

Don't blame others but instead work on your own walk with the Lord.

Desire to be the kind of Christian that you are looking for in others.

God will at times seperate people for the purpose of causing them to
hunger for a deeper relationship that only He can provide.

It sounds like to me that you are no longer satisfied with the status quo
and are looking for depth but you haven't come to the place where you
can clearly see that only God can take you deeper.

When you have traveled down the clearly marked pathway of life that is well
understood and clearly defined by the saints, as they guide you along the
narrow path and then you come to a place where few have traveled,
it is then that you must realize that only Christ can show you the next step.

How can those who have no desire to go farther and deeper in
a desire for true fellowship with Christ, advise you?

What it sounds like you are saying, is that you miss fellowship with others
that is only found in those who have a living and deep relationship in the Lord Jesus Christ.

What you are telling me is that you do not want worldly fellowship based
on superficial motives, self interest and outward appearances but
you are looking for the fellowship that flows from God's love through
His people that is made possible by the power of the Holy Spirit.

If people are unwilling to go deeper, how can the Holy Spirit work in and through them?

If you are separated at this time from those who will allow the Holy
Spirit access to their lives, then you must go to the source and
cry out to Christ that He would fill the void and need you have for
fellowship with Him through His Holy Spirit.

I hope you can see what I am saying.....that even though you have
not found a group of deep and comitted Christians, you can become
one yourself by surrendering yourself wholly to Christ by asking Him
take over your life for His purposes and fill you with His love and Holy Spirit.

Luke 11:13
If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children,
how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

 

[biblicalbro]

Hello and Welcome to the forum!

Let me ask this....
Have sat down with your minister/church leader and discussed the sad state
of affairs that you are witnessing within the body of believers that you
are part of?

I have spoken on multiple occasions. But nothing changes ,even when I get involved in serving. Of course we serve always regardless of how ppl feel. But the call to fellowship remains

 

[biblicalbro]

Amen. Zealous believers are magnetic. I'm grateful for the few that I've come across with

 

[biblicalbro]

As in it's time to leave?

 

[biblicalbro]

Invite someone out for coffee....be interested in them, in their lives. Be inquisitive. When you find someone you connect with, invite them out again. When you initiate, you will find that they will start initiating back.

Right on point. I have to keep searching because in most cases its solely me initiating with no connection established in return which annoys me to the point of why bother , you know?

 

[biblicalbro]

If only it were that easy. I never changed churches before. The one I attend I've been there all my life!

 

[BFine]

It could be that it's time to find a new church....
make this a matter of diligent prayer.

I agree, it's not easy to change churches, likewise it's
not easy to continue to gather with a body of believers
who have become far too social...this type of thing is
sad/disheartening and prolonged exposure can result in
you growing "cold".

 

[Albion]

If only it were that easy. I never changed churches before. The one I attend I've been there all my life!

Actually, it is pretty easy, although I can appreciate the apprehension some people feel upon walking into that strange church for the first time. It's not hard to overcome, and all you have to do is be friendly when you're approached and say you're a visitor if asked. No other explanations are really necessary.

However, my advice to change churches seems only to be reinforced now, considering that you say you've belonged to this particular congregation all your life and still don't feel the fellowship you rightly expect!

I'd recommend at least making a few visits to other churches that are similar in belief to yours and see if the temperament of those congregations is not different. When people do this, they usually find that some are welcoming and some are stiff, and it's hard to guess in advance at which is which just by the sign over the door or the size of the congregation.

 

[ValleyGal]

You've been going to this church all your life and you don't have friends in it? How big of a church is it? If it's big, have you been involved in small groups? If it's small, have you ever talked to the pastor about your situation and asked him how to be more accepted? I dunno....there seems to be something very strange about attending a church your whole life and not having any friends in it.

 

[Goodbook]

Weird!
You need to find a real church, what you described does not sound like church at all, more like an exclusive social club that calls itself a church.

Ask Jesus to lead you somewhere else, where His real friends are!

 

[biblicalbro]

First of all, I just want to express my gratitude to every poster here. Thank you, I appreciate the thoughts and comments

Small groups was one of the few things that allowed me to meet new ppl. I do have friends. But those that I'm really close too, attend different churches, and how ironic they were once part of my church! it's sad that those closest to me are those so far away so I don't see them often. Yet those around me are not trustworthy. especially those in my age group, I'm 25 by the way. when I'm around ppl, it's those that are older than me, because they're more mature and humble, very accepting. but I know that the majority are married with families so seeing them in person is solely on Sundays. But anyways I have seen ppl leave throughout the years for the very same reason. So it's not just me throwing a fit. It's a cry for change! A plea for revival!

Church is never meant to be a social club, it is a living spiritual organism, known as the body of Christ! Ppl who just don't get it based on their lack of growth make it evident that they may not even be saved! like many goats today among the sheep remnant. In consideration of a new church, I will definitely pray as well as check out other churches. My church is non-denominational with Pentecostal roots so it has that Pentecostal flavor lol Personally, I'm not Pentecostal by label but by Spirit

 

[iambren]

This subject always saddens me. Christians should be the highest example of living out communuty....but they're not. Part of this I blame the preachers for. One of the very first acts God made in the garden was to create Eve because loneliness existed. But today we go on doing "church" in the same old way,not feeling the power but too lazy to be a unique people.

The only remedy I know is to find some likeminded people to meet with,bond with,be real with. Good luck.