Fellowship

[Krissakitty]

Fellowship is something that I've always had problems with. When I attend Church, I feel that I am either outright ostracized, kept at arm's length, or (on the other side of the extreme) held up as a poster child for that particular Congregation's supposed diversity. The lack of Christian fellowship in my life drove me to the brink of atheism. It made me feel as though God Himself wanted nothing to do with me.

So, how does it work? I feel like their's some big secret to life that I haven't been let in on... and it's even worse at Churches. The one place people are supposed to be able to go and feel connected with God and one another, I feel that I have to put up all my defenses for fear that I'll have to explain my very existence to everyone in the congregation.

I guess I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced similar problems with some of the Churches they've visited or been a part of, and how they handed it.

 

[stormdancer0]

It is our own self-image reflecting back to us. I used to feel the same way - tolerated, rather than accepted. God showed me it was my own feelings about myself coloring the way I THOUGHT others were seeing me. When I started accepting the fact that these people were not pretending to welcome me, but were genuinely welcoming, that feeling went away.

If you don't mind me asking, what do you mean by "transsexual?" Not being ignorant or anything, but I've heard it used in several different contexts, some of them derogatory and some not.

 

[Krissakitty]

If you don't mind me asking, what do you mean by "transsexual?" Not being ignorant or anything, but I've heard it used in several different contexts, some of them derogatory and some not.

I was born a male, but transitioned to the female gender to feel comfortable in my skin. I figured that would be more prudent than getting a labotomy. I discussed this in another topic, but it was deleted...

 

[Krissakitty]

It is our own self-image reflecting back to us. I used to feel the same way - tolerated, rather than accepted. God showed me it was my own feelings about myself coloring the way I THOUGHT others were seeing me. When I started accepting the fact that these people were not pretending to welcome me, but were genuinely welcoming, that feeling went away.

Maybe that's true. How did you get to that point, though? Or, rather, how did you get started on that line of thought, and how did you finally apply it? Am I making sense?

 

[stormdancer0]

Yeah, perfect sense, unfortunately. Very familiar.

You just have to get past it. When you feel rejected, rebuke that feeling as a lie (which nine times out of ten, it is). Walk right up to the person you feel is rejecting you, smile, and start a conversation. If there is a situation in the church, like a pot luck or a family in need of help, step forward and volunteer. Ask the pastor, "What can I do to help you minister to others? To make it easier for you?" Then follow through. It was when I began to help out that I realized how much the other members appreciated me. (This was before I became a pastor)

If you are going to very conservative churches, I would let people get to know you for a while and know who you are before going into your transsexual situation, and even then, I wouldn't tell many. Many people believe it is messing with God - if He made you a boy, you are supposed to be a boy.

As for the church where I'm a pastor, we are somewhat conservative. You would be welcome to come and worship, but most older people would have a difficult time when they found out. However, I would say that it's none of their business. That's between you and God. How is your relationship with God? THAT should be your primary focus.

I'm sorry you have felt rejected. Perhaps you have been somewhat. You know your situation is not one that many people are comfortable with. It's human nature to reject what they do not understand.

I've learned to not reject people so quickly. I don't have to agree with all your decisions in order to worship with you.

 

[Krissakitty]

Thanks for that. Now I just need to find a Church. I think I have a few leads, though...

 

[11822]

Hello krissakitty and welcome to Christian Forums. May i ask how long you have been a Christian?

 

[Krissakitty]

11 years.

 

[11822]

11 years.

Im going to keep you in my prayers. May the lord lead you in the right direction friend. God is good and He will help us no matter what the problem is. I wish you all the best KrissaKitty. Keep the faith and trust God and His word and He will be your best friend. Jesus has given me happiness when i thought there was none to be had. Jesus is this worlds only Hope. If you ever need someone to talk to just get a hold of me. ttyl friend

 

[Krissakitty]

Im going to keep you in my prayers. May the lord lead you in the right direction friend. God is good and He will help us no matter what the problem is. I wish you all the best KrissaKitty. Keep the faith and trust God and His word and He will be your best friend. Jesus has given me happiness when i thought there was none to be had. Jesus is this worlds only Hope. If you ever need someone to talk to just get a hold of me. ttyl friend

Thanks for that. I'll be sure to PM you. ^.^