Fellowship frustrations

[pumanator]

I'm not sure where to start or if this is even in the right place. Maybe it's just the times we live in or possibly it's always been this way. I often wonder what on earth Paul was talking about when he said we had to be in fellowship and just what that word really means.

I have reached complete burn out with church and trying to fit in to the christian community at large. Corperate worship seems to me an act of futility and only a select few find a niche at church no matter where you go. Your worthiness for fellowship/friendship is based on many things; education, in ministry or not, job, socioecomonic standing, looks/weight, where you live, who you know...it's not much different than the world from what I can see and rejection rather than love is the rule of the day, but maybe that's just american christianity.

I find more fellowship here and in online cooperative games than I ever have at church. People sell you the bill of goods about "God's family" which seems to be somewhat disfunctional and a huge let down once reality sets in.

I see no point in continuing to bang my head against this wall and understand why so many have stopped going and others refuse to go when invited.

 

[Count]

Hey brother,

I think you should post your message to the Homechurch/nonchurched forum. There is the right place where you should dircect your questions.

 

[growingupinhim]

keep the faith..
I feel like you in many ways..but havent given up on church alltogether..When I do go..I let my light shine..keeping my eyse on Jesus..and loving all unconditonaly..even if they are practing religion or whatever other folks are doing..keep loving Jesus..and never give up..

 

[paulnoel]

I'm not sure where to start or if this is even in the right place. Maybe it's just the times we live in or possibly it's always been this way. I often wonder what on earth Paul was talking about when he said we had to be in fellowship and just what that word really means.

I have reached complete burn out with church and trying to fit in to the christian community at large. Corperate worship seems to me an act of futility and only a select few find a niche at church no matter where you go. Your worthiness for fellowship/friendship is based on many things; education, in ministry or not, job, socioecomonic standing, looks/weight, where you live, who you know...it's not much different than the world from what I can see and rejection rather than love is the rule of the day, but maybe that's just american christianity.

I find more fellowship here and in online cooperative games than I ever have at church. People sell you the bill of goods about "God's family" which seems to be somewhat disfunctional and a huge let down once reality sets in.

I see no point in continuing to bang my head against this wall and understand why so many have stopped going and others refuse to go when invited.

I was really touched by your post. I left the church I use to attend for the very same reasons, and I did not go to any church for a number of weeks but in that time I was totally down, so I prayed and asked God to lead me to a church were He would want me to be and were I could workk best for him. One week later I was in a town 10 miles from were I live and came across this building that looked like a run down shop, outside was a notice which said "why not come in you may be surprised" I walked through those doors and instantly knew this is were God wanted me. This run down shop as I thought it was -was infact a very small church of abour 30 or so people and every one of them just love Jesus and each other and they all work for the good of the Kingdom and for each other and the community .

The point of me telling you this testimony is if you pray with a sincer heart for God to lead you to a spirit filled church-He will. I will also pray for you in this coming week, please let me know how you are getting along.

God bless you.
Brother-Paul.

 

[AngelDove1]

Needless to say,It does happen.

We can either move on,or look at it as a trial in our life.
A test we need to pass,to go on to the next spiritual level.

So what is the salution here?
Leave or stay?
Stay and not fall to their small level?

Show love and kindness ,where we are not shown any?

Don't be so hard on yourself....
Try and enjoy life a lil more.
Don't sweat the small stuff,
cuz thats all it is.

Hummmm! WWJD?

God works in misterious ways,to get us to love one another.
That is His greatest ...John 15:12 NIV
"Commandment" "Love one another as I have loved you" .

Who says we have to like them and party with them?

We don't have to live with them either.

I learned from an ole timer a long time ago.
Acceptance is the answer to all our problems.
Don't mean we have to like it,or them...ok?

Its grown pains,time to grow into the next level.

So who wins?


The sun (SON ) will rise 2morrow,again.

Sorry to give tough love,in a cold way.
But there are other importent things
you can do with your life that will make you happy.

My prayers are with you....

 

[EarthMomma]

I've had this discussion with a few friends recently, and sometimes I think we just have to realize that it's not about "us and them" it's about "us and God."

In the past, I've also found myself in a church where the message the preacher was preaching was so offensive (not because of the scripture but because of the hatred He displayed) that I wanted to get up and walk out. I had many useful discussions about that situation with my elderly neighbor who had such wisdom. And He encouraged me often to pray for the pastor. And God chose to share with me the results, which were so uplifting even if slow in coming.

And God gave me a specific message last year for a friend (He repeated this urging through the Holy Spirit THREE times before I was obedient, because I knew she would not be receptive). The message for her was to go to church, that it didn't matter what church (she's very picky and critical of all she visits) because it wasn't about her, it was about someone there that she would influence. I'm not sure how God is working in that regard (with my friend) but I know she didn't appreciate my message. I learned an important lesson about being obedient, and patient.

But I digress. Back to the topic. What I do think is important is that we do not forsake gathering together (and it's scriptural as well). And look for scripture that shows us to have the kind of tolerance that Jesus had toward people's differences. I'm thinking of what He told John after the disciples recounted to Jesus how they'd acted when they ran into someone preaching in Jesus' name that wasn't part of their group.

If we stop criticizing other people and start blaming the adversary, we'll open our eyes and be able to savor God's presence in all situation, and in fact realize that He is growing us up in Christ and possibly even using our presence to let His light shine through us to grow someone else up in Christ. His ways are way beyond our comprehension.

Paul told the Romans that even when someone didn't preach as He did, at least they were preaching Jesus, and the rest was in God's hands. (I'll look for that scripture later).

Talk to God, He'll give you peace as He reveals what He's doing in you and how He's using you (it just might take a while, sometimes we have to wait on Him), and He will place divine opportunities and appointments around you, that will build you up as you grow in patience and count this time for joy and glory, knowing He is in charge.

Your sister in Christ,
EarthMomma

 

[Pilgrim1951]

I'm not sure where to start or if this is even in the right place. Maybe it's just the times we live in or possibly it's always been this way. I often wonder what on earth Paul was talking about when he said we had to be in fellowship and just what that word really means.

I have reached complete burn out with church and trying to fit in to the christian community at large. Corperate worship seems to me an act of futility and only a select few find a niche at church no matter where you go. Your worthiness for fellowship/friendship is based on many things; education, in ministry or not, job, socioecomonic standing, looks/weight, where you live, who you know...it's not much different than the world from what I can see and rejection rather than love is the rule of the day, but maybe that's just american christianity.

I find more fellowship here and in online cooperative games than I ever have at church. People sell you the bill of goods about "God's family" which seems to be somewhat disfunctional and a huge let down once reality sets in.

I see no point in continuing to bang my head against this wall and understand why so many have stopped going and others refuse to go when invited.

Dear Brother Pumanator,
One of the most amazing things about our Lord to me is how He will gently work on each of us right where we’re at. He never compromises Who He is, but He is always adaptable about how He works in each of us. I first came to Deeper Fellowship in the Christian Forums almost 2 years ago. I had not had a church home for years. I was greatly ministered to by the people who posted in DF. The scripture about not forsaking the assembling kept coming up in my mind, and I knew I was being disobedient. I had all this emotional baggage from my childhood, from my adult relationships, I had been wounded in 2 different churches by “religious” people, yada, yada, yada. All that stuff that we Christians who have never suffered real persecution seem to focus on. One day my daughter and I started talking about how the Lord had been dealing with each of us about getting back into a local body of believers. We just didn’t know where to go. But we had both been praying and asking God to show us where He wanted us to go. I found a church which just stood out to me – in the yellow pages of all places! We went there the next Sunday. It was housed in a small industrial warehouse, and had been there for years. We both decided that very day we had “come home”. This humble little church had a pastor with a shepherd’s heart, and his wife was as loving and caring as he was. The people were genuinely friendly and caring – they really reached out to newcomers. After we had been there a while, I started noticing little things about people. Little things that were just kinda “off” or “just not right”, once in a while. This didn’t happen very long before the Lord began convicting me of fault finding and criticalness. Ouch! He basically made me see that through the experience and pain of my own wounds and the self-protective habits I had developed as a result was causing me to be the very type of Christian I had disliked for so long. He gave me the ability to recognize my Christian siblings' gifts and also how to appreciate those gifts, even if it sometimes looked a little different to me. And He reminded me that my gifts sometimes looked a little different to them as well. He also let me know that loving my brothers and sisters was not an option. He helped me to see how all of us are lame and wounded. I began to really see what real love, the love of Christ through us could do to minister to the wounded and fearful (namely me! ) The point is that God reached me right where I was at and without condemnation. He helped me to see that yes, I was hurting and had been hurt, but if I would just walk in obedience to His Word, according to His will, He would bring me to a place where I could be nurtured and even where I could begin to nurture others! What a leap in my walk that was! Wounded people think the best that can happen to them is for others to recognize that they have worth, and will love them warts and all. But that isn’t the best. The best is when this same wounded person after being loved and nurtured for a while begins to desire to love and nurture others. Jesus heals the broken-hearted. We can too through the One Who loved us first. Just pray, Pumanator, and ask God to direct You where He wants You to go to church. And then, be obedient to that direction. Be faithful to Him and He will lead You where He wants You to go in every area of your walk with Him. God bless you, brother.

Pilgrim

"...By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love one for another." John 13:35

 

[JPPT1974]

To have a friend
You have to be a friend
And to act like one like
Talk the talk as well as
Walk the walk

 

[pumanator]

Excellent posts by all, thank you. It has been very difficult to over come the baggage of the past not to mention dealing with chronic pain from injuries I've sustained. The world, ppl at church and the bitterness about being partially disabiled (not being able to all I used to do) has left me worse for wear. I'm so focused on protecting myself from futher injury, physically, emotionally and spiritually, that I don't even like to ask for prayer at group due to the fact that I DO NOT trust ppl anymore. That in of it self is a road block to fitting in and I now I have noone to blame but myself.

I posted this because I know it is commanded to love the body of christ (other believers) and I know that the bitterness in my heart does not please God. I can ask for prayer here about it and talk about it without making ppl feel uncomfortable...would go over like a lead ballon at a group meeting.

Thanx again,
Puma

 

[AngelDove1]

Excellent posts by all, thank you. It has been very difficult to over come the baggage of the past not to mention dealing with chronic pain from injuries I've sustained.



Puma,sorry to hear about your disabilities.

Lord in Jesus name we ask the Holy Spirit to come be with us in prayer for my brother...

Lord you know his needs before we even come to you.Lord Jesus,give Puma the comfort and peace that come only from you.The God of Shalom.

Lord I also ask, that you bring him good loving christian friends that will bring him joy & laughter....

Fill Puma's days with You Love and kindness,though others Lord.

We Thank you in andvance for all you've done ,and are going to do.

PS 107:20 NIV...
"He sent is word and healed them,and delivered them from their distructions"

Prov 13:20 NIV
"He who walks with wise men will be wise,but the companion of a fool will be destroyed"

In Jesus Mighty Name ....Amen

 

[tigercub]

I find more fellowship here and in online cooperative games than I ever have at church.

Ditto.

 

[paulnoel]

Excellent posts by all, thank you. It has been very difficult to over come the baggage of the past not to mention dealing with chronic pain from injuries I've sustained.



Puma,sorry to hear about your disabilities.

Lord in Jesus name we ask the Holy Spirit to come be with us in prayer for my brother...

Lord you know his needs before we even come to you.Lord Jesus,give Puma the comfort and peace that come only from you.The God of Shalom.

Lord I also ask, that you bring him good loving christian friends that will bring him joy & laughter....

Fill Puma's days with You Love and kindness,though others Lord.

We Thank you in andvance for all you've done ,and are going to do.

PS 107:20 NIV...
"He sent is word and healed them,and delivered them from their distructions"

Prov 13:20 NIV
"He who walks with wise men will be wise,but the companion of a fool will be destroyed"

In Jesus Mighty Name ....Amen

And, Amen

 

[Pilgrim1951]

Puma, I am awed by your courage. You are a real person and it always touches my heart and blesses me when people are honest and real. I think God likes it when we are real. He knows everything in our hearts anyway. There's a book you really ought to read, I recommend it highly. It's called "Jesus In the Margins", and it's by Rick McKinley. I think it might bless you. I know what you mean when you talk about making people in groups uncomfortable. Someone invites you to a group thing. They're all smiley and friendly and just want you to feel welcome. Then you go there, really needing to talk to someone, share some of the pain, take some of the load off. As you begin to share a little, you can see their faces change. You can almost hear the tires screeching to a stop and the back-peddling start. Ha! If it wasn't so tragic, it would be funny. I think what happens, is when we begin to be completely honest about pain and sorrow, it scares some Christians. It messes with their safe theology that assures them that our Lord would never allow them to go through tragic things, or horrible things or just rough things in life. When we begin to talk openly about just those things, they have to think about the fact that God allows hard things to happen to His children. Plus there's a certain amount of guilt that goes along with witnessing someone else's train wreck, and if we were totally honest, we also feel some relief ( oh ouch, too honest! ) that it wasn't us that it happened to. You can put a big spiritual acting face on all this stuff, but it all boils down to the fact that we are on a journey. A journey with the Holy One. And He doesn't always take the easy route, but if we want to follow Him, we'll be like that tiny little lamb in the picture that Brinny posted awhile back in the Deeper Fellowship thread. I want to be like that little lamb just following Jesus wherever He goes even along the edge of a dangerous precipice, taking no notice of the danger, just keeping my eyes on Him alone. I'm not there yet, but if I just keep on keepin' on, well...

The brother's and sister's here at DF just wow me with their love and wisdom and willingness to pray. I want to be just like some of them when I grow up. They are awesome! God bless you, Puma. You are in my prayers, brother.


Pilgrim

 

[EarthMomma]

Dear Pilgrim,
You always bless us with your thoughts. Thank you for the time you take to share and to consider other's burdens. I SO appreciate it.

And Puma, I too am uplifted by your courage in bringing your concerns here. I just know you've found inspiration. Thank you.

Puma, I am awed by your courage. You are a real person and it always touches my heart and blesses me when people are honest and real. I think God likes it when we are real. He knows everything in our hearts anyway. There's a book you really ought to read, I recommend it highly. It's called "Jesus In the Margins", and it's by Rick McKinley. I think it might bless you. I know what you mean when you talk about making people in groups uncomfortable. Someone invites you to a group thing. They're all smiley and friendly and just want you to feel welcome. Then you go there, really needing to talk to someone, share some of the pain, take some of the load off. As you begin to share a little, you can see their faces change. You can almost hear the tires screeching to a stop and the back-peddling start. Ha! If it wasn't so tragic, it would be funny. I think what happens, is when we begin to be completely honest about pain and sorrow, it scares some Christians. It messes with their safe theology that assures them that our Lord would never allow them to go through tragic things, or horrible things or just rough things in life. When we begin to talk openly about just those things, they have to think about the fact that God allows hard things to happen to His children. Plus there's a certain amount of guilt that goes along with witnessing someone else's train wreck, and if we were totally honest, we also feel some relief ( oh ouch, too honest! ) that it wasn't us that it happened to. You can put a big spiritual acting face on all this stuff, but it all boils down to the fact that we are on a journey. A journey with the Holy One. And He doesn't always take the easy route, but if we want to follow Him, we'll be like that tiny little lamb in the picture that Brinny posted awhile back in the Deeper Fellowship thread. I want to be like that little lamb just following Jesus wherever He goes even along the edge of a dangerous precipice, taking no notice of the danger, just keeping my eyes on Him alone. I'm not there yet, but if I just keep on keepin' on, well...

The brother's and sister's here at DF just wow me with their love and wisdom and willingness to pray. I want to be just like some of them when I grow up. They are awesome! God bless you, Puma. You are in my prayers, brother.


Pilgrim

May God ease our burdens by helping us to forgive, as Jesus forgave, and to forget, for that is part of the dying to self. Even in the midst of turmoil when we have God's love in our heart, we will see Him, for He will never leave us nor forsake us. He says it, and I believe it. And I know He's with us on every step of this journey (even the ones I'm embarassed I took). I lift you in prayer Puma, and know that God will complete the wonderful work He's commenced in us, because He says He will.

In Christ,
EarthMomma

 

[AngelDove1]

 

[JPPT1974]

Dear Pilgrim,
You always bless us with your thoughts. Thank you for the time you take to share and to consider other's burdens. I SO appreciate it.

And Puma, I too am uplifted by your courage in bringing your concerns here. I just know you've found inspiration. Thank you.
May God ease our burdens by helping us to forgive, as Jesus forgave, and to forget, for that is part of the dying to self. Even in the midst of turmoil when we have God's love in our heart, we will see Him, for He will never leave us nor forsake us. He says it, and I believe it. And I know He's with us on every step of this journey (even the ones I'm embarassed I took). I lift you in prayer Puma, and know that God will complete the wonderful work He's commenced in us, because He says He will.

In Christ,
EarthMomma

Jesus will indeed ease our burdens as well as
Forgive us of our sins no matter what happens
Which surpasses all understanding!

 

[pumanator]

Some of the best posts I've read since coming to CF.

Thank you for your love, understanding and prayer. Much more convicting and motivating than judgement.

May God bless your day for your service to Him