Fellowship Dinner

[Telaquapacky]

Thanks...

My wife is 7 years younger, so they'll think they have a young mom and an old dad. Bummer...

Oh, stop it. Having kids helps keep you younger. My buddy had a baby at 50 (his wife is younger). He's been very happy with it.

We weren't able to have children, so it's hard for us to make friends with other couples- they prefer couples with kids their kids can play with. Our closest friends are couples whose kids have grown and moved out. But now that we're in our 40's (her) and 50's (me) the pickings aren't as slim. We used to have to hang around with older couples, or families whose kids were very mature for their ages.

 

[Telaquapacky]

Pink hearts ... yellow moons ... orange stars ... green clovers ... blue diamonds ... purple horseshoes ....

ALWAYS AFTER ME LUCKY CHARMS.

At least no one will try to make a loaf out of that!

...of course, with Adventists you never know!

 

[Telaquapacky]

Oh no! It's happened! The Lucky Charms Loaf!

Try and serve that at your next church potluck!

 

[Sophia7]

Oh, stop it. Having kids helps keep you younger. My buddy had a baby at 50 (his wife is younger). He's been very happy with it.

We weren't able to have children, so it's hard for us to make friends with other couples- they prefer couples with kids their kids can play with. Our closest friends are couples whose kids have grown and moved out. But now that we're in our 40's (her) and 50's (me) the pickings aren't as slim. We used to have to hang around with older couples, or families whose kids were very mature for their ages.

From the opposite perspective, we've sometimes found it hard to make friends with couples who don't have children because some of them don't like to be around children much (at least those who don't want children, not those who can't have them), and they're not always very tolerant of kids' noises and messes. Also, having kids makes it a lot harder to go out and spend time with other couples if you have to arrange for a babysitter and pay a babysitter. We really haven't even used babysitters much because we haven't lived close to family until recently, and we don't trust a lot of other people with our children. So most of our social activities have been limited to things that we can bring our children to.

 

[Telaquapacky]

From the opposite perspective, we've sometimes found it hard to make friends with couples who don't have children because some of them don't like to be around children much (at least those who don't want children, not those who can't have them), and they're not always very tolerant of kids' noises and messes. Also, having kids makes it a lot harder to go out and spend time with other couples if you have to arrange for a babysitter and pay a babysitter. We really haven't even used babysitters much because we haven't lived close to family until recently, and we don't trust a lot of other people with our children. So most of our social activities have been limited to things that we can bring our children to.

My hat's off to you. Raising children is definitely a calling and a sacrifice.

I guess I should qualify what I said. I was talking more about making new friends as opposed to established friends, and about difficulties we faced when we moved a few years ago. It always takes time to make new friends when you move, and there are obstacles- kids being just one of them. We take care of my mother-in-law. She's sweet, not too demanding, and easy to get along with, but we can't always come and go as we please.

With the people who are our closest friends from way back, it doesn't matter if they have kids or not, when we have established friendships we find ways of working around the inconveniences. If you love your friends, you love their kids too, noise and messes and all.

 

[StormyOne]

From the opposite perspective, we've sometimes found it hard to make friends with couples who don't have children because some of them don't like to be around children much (at least those who don't want children, not those who can't have them), and they're not always very tolerant of kids' noises and messes. Also, having kids makes it a lot harder to go out and spend time with other couples if you have to arrange for a babysitter and pay a babysitter. We really haven't even used babysitters much because we haven't lived close to family until recently, and we don't trust a lot of other people with our children. So most of our social activities have been limited to things that we can bring our children to.

I agree it is difficult to have friends when you have kids for the reasons you stated... when our kids were young we went out rarely without the kids, usually we took them with us... my rationale was simple, the 10 to 12 yrs your kids don't mind being around you goes soooooo fast.... when they get to the pre-teen and teen yrs they have their own friends and don't want to hang out with mom and dad, so you have to make the best of those years.... There will be plenty of time to go out after they get older...

So that's how it has played out.... now that the kids are older, we have plenty of time to go out...

 

[StormyOne]

Pink hearts ... yellow moons ... orange stars ... green clovers ... blue diamonds ... purple horseshoes ....

ALWAYS AFTER ME LUCKY CHARMS.

I am partial to this myself....

 

[Moriah_Conquering_Wind]

Oh no! It's happened! The Lucky Charms Loaf!

Try and serve that at your next church potluck!

ROFL!!!!!!

 

[Moriah_Conquering_Wind]

I am partial to this myself....

MMMM hmmm!!! Breakie with the Count!!! Moriah bes IN.

 

[Moriah_Conquering_Wind]

Re: kids -- even worse bes those of us what's done raising ours. We feel like we've paid our dues, endured the stress, and bes entitled now to a break from all that.

Probably best not to share thoughts on the subject in detail, as it tends to push buttons and ruffle feathers and leave people feeling offended. Suffice it to say in general when children bes well behaved it goes better for everyone, both the parents and the childless (or child-rearing-completed) couples. And before they become old enough to know what that means, there bes certain places they do not need to be -- as well as certain places one should expect to find them and not grouse over it.

 

[Sophia7]

I agree it is difficult to have friends when you have kids for the reasons you stated... when our kids were young we went out rarely without the kids, usually we took them with us... my rationale was simple, the 10 to 12 yrs your kids don't mind being around you goes soooooo fast.... when they get to the pre-teen and teen yrs they have their own friends and don't want to hang out with mom and dad, so you have to make the best of those years.... There will be plenty of time to go out after they get older...

So that's how it has played out.... now that the kids are older, we have plenty of time to go out...

I think about that sometimes. In a few years our kids won't want to spend so much time with us, so we try to make the most of the time that we have now.

 

[Sophia7]

My hat's off to you. Raising children is definitely a calling and a sacrifice.

I guess I should qualify what I said. I was talking more about making new friends as opposed to established friends, and about difficulties we faced when we moved a few years ago. It always takes time to make new friends when you move, and there are obstacles- kids being just one of them. We take care of my mother-in-law. She's sweet, not too demanding, and easy to get along with, but we can't always come and go as we please.

With the people who are our closest friends from way back, it doesn't matter if they have kids or not, when we have established friendships we find ways of working around the inconveniences. If you love your friends, you love their kids too, noise and messes and all.

I admire you for taking care of your mother-in-law. I'm sure that's not always easy either.

 

[Sophia7]

Re: kids -- even worse bes those of us what's done raising ours. We feel like we've paid our dues, endured the stress, and bes entitled now to a break from all that.

Probably best not to share thoughts on the subject in detail, as it tends to push buttons and ruffle feathers and leave people feeling offended. Suffice it to say in general when children bes well behaved it goes better for everyone, both the parents and the childless (or child-rearing-completed) couples. And before they become old enough to know what that means, there bes certain places they do not need to be -- as well as certain places one should expect to find them and not grouse over it.

That's why our social activities are limited mostly to things that we can do with our kids. They're pretty well-behaved when we go out, but we have three of them very close together in age, so they can be a little overwhelming. Even when we do have the grandparents babysit occasionally, we try not to leave them for too long.

 

[Moriah_Conquering_Wind]

In an ideal society, grandparents would do the child-rearing, allowing young adults to enjoy their combo of youth + independence while they have it, knowing their turn would come when they become grandparents. Most ppls don't want to be homebodies or tied down till they hit middle age and conversely most people don't want to be having their kids that late in life either, so it would be ideal for grandparents to do the child-raising.

Of course, that bes idealistic.... It would never work because it would mean one generation would have to agree to do double-duty in order to provide the paradigm shift for the ensuing generations, and chances of getting an entire generation to sacrifice their entire lives for this one endeavor bes slim.