feelings of pride and self righteousness

[kpfru2]

hey guys
not to long ago i opened the bible, read the gospel of John and somewhere in reading that i suddendly believed that Jesus was who he said he was.

Anyway i have been going through a process of repentance, and forgiving people who may have wronged me, but i feel so proud, hypocritical and fake, like im not being myself, and have little to no peace at all. Before i believed in Jesus ( about 3 months ago) I believed when i was very young, prayed alot, and have to some degree an imprint on my soul of interaction with God at a young age, of Him doing more then i could think or imagine. then a life of drug alcohole inappropriate content and video game abuse sent me on another path, but i opened the bible and Bam, thats what happened, i stopped taking drugs, masturbating(although i have relapsed a few times) playing games (also played the seldom game) and drinking.

Now i find myself being critical of others, surrounded by people who say they're christian (family members, one being a pastor - step dad, went through a divorce at a young age) but to my bible knowledge arn't living it out very well, and i see myself judging them for things i also struggle with, but don't know if i should like in corinthians, Not even eat with them, or shouldn't be judging them at all.

I feel like i don't know myself or the sound of my own voice, and certainly don't "know" or have "the knowledge or understand the fear of the Lord". I feel more lost then before i came to Jesus. I find it hard to pray, because when i come to God, i either find myself putting on a "reverent voice"that isnt from my heart, or Being disrespectful and feeling the victim, or just feel like i can't open up, like there is some closed door in my heart.



would love to hear what you think thanks heaps

 

[Shulamite7]

hey guys
not to long ago i opened the bible, read the gospel of John and somewhere in reading that i suddendly believed that Jesus was who he said he was.

Anyway i have been going through a process of repentance, and forgiving people who may have wronged me, but i feel so proud, hypocritical and fake, like im not being myself, and have little to no peace at all. Before i believed in Jesus ( about 3 months ago) I believed when i was very young, prayed alot, and have to some degree an imprint on my soul of interaction with God at a young age, of Him doing more then i could think or imagine. then a life of drug alcohole inappropriate content and video game abuse sent me on another path, but i opened the bible and Bam, thats what happened, i stopped taking drugs, masturbating(although i have relapsed a few times) playing games (also played the seldom game) and drinking.

Now i find myself being critical of others, surrounded by people who say they're christian (family members, one being a pastor - step dad, went through a divorce at a young age) but to my bible knowledge arn't living it out very well, and i see myself judging them for things i also struggle with, but don't know if i should like in corinthians, Not even eat with them, or shouldn't be judging them at all.

I feel like i don't know myself or the sound of my own voice, and certainly don't "know" or have "the knowledge or understand the fear of the Lord". I feel more lost then before i came to Jesus. I find it hard to pray, because when i come to God, i either find myself putting on a "reverent voice"that isnt from my heart, or Being disrespectful and feeling the victim, or just feel like i can't open up, like there is some closed door in my heart.



would love to hear what you think thanks heaps

First of all let me congratulate you for being delivered from taking drugs, alcohol and watching inappropriate content just by reading the Word of God! That proves that the Word of God is alive and active and sharper than any double edged sword. How did you get over all these habits at once? I think you need to be giving advice to those who are struggling with this sin. Many come up on CF and ask for advice on how to be delivered from these habits.

Then with regard to pride and all the other things that you have mentioned, well, you need to take them all to the Lord. Cast your burdens on the Lord.
If you are disrespectful to the Lord when you pray ask Him to forgive you and change you. Ask Him to remove the spirit of pride and clothe you with humility and meekness. Believe me I tried a lot of ways to overcome my sins myself even fasting but I did not change but ended up worse than I was at first. We cannot fight our flesh and its sinful desires on our own. Its the Lord's work. But you have to be obedient to Him also. Try to write down a list of your sins and weaknesses and turn them into a prayer asking for the Lord's help in overcoming them all and please do not look for a total change in you in a short time. It is a process.

I think you need to hear anionted teachings. I would advise you to listen to this person 278pikelk on youtube. It will help clear many of your doubts. But before you listen to anyone please ask for discernment from the Lord. Deception is so great now. Do not assume and lean on your own understanding. They may sound right but actually might be of satan.

 

[timf]

i either find myself putting on a "reverent voice" that isnt from my heart, or Being disrespectful and feeling the victim, or just feel like i can't open up

The world today is run by Satan (insofar and for as long as he is allowed by God). He has designed this world to accommodate people who live as if they were playing a role. We who have been raised in this world often find that a "role" doesn't ring true.

When we become Christian, Jesus comes into our hearts and takes up residence. We have Him who is truth in us. We also have the Spirit of truth who guides us in all truth.

Consider the example of Luke 18 of the Pharisee and the tax collector. The Pharisee was blind to truth. The tax collector was overwhelmed by truth.

Jesus warned his disciples about the dangers of the "leaven" of the Pharisees. Paul wrote the letter to the Galatians about a whole church that was starting down this road. You are right to see the adoption of a "reverent voice" as something to be avoided.

The key to the Christian life is truth. Some denominational church leaders will try to bully you into some doctrinal conformity or into some mechanical religious pattern. You should approach each of these encounters as a Berean.

Jesus said that if we live in His word, we would be His disciples indeed and we would know the truth and the truth would make us free.

When we come to God in truth, we come as the tax collector. As we grow in our understanding of who God is and who we really are, we can only come to the point of humility. James tells us that God gives more grace to the humble. This is not a reward for achievement, but an acknowledgment of how a lack of humility (lack of truth) on our part restricts what God can do.

 

[Peripatetic]

We all run the risk of falling into the self-righteous trap. Humility requires a lifetime journey, and we'll never fully get there. Also: there isn't just one narrow, correct system (even though we act like it sometimes). So it helps to consider all perspectives. Even if we don't agree with them, there are always new opportunities to learn and expand.

Also: have you read the book of Ecclesiastes? It provides some great insight into what you're experiencing, especially the challenges of wisdom.

 

[alan650]

Congrats on finding the Savior Jesus Christ! He is a wonderful and loving God! When you are getting prideful and self-righteous you need to remember you are still a weak human being completely dependent on your Savior. Everyone in the world needs Jesus Christ if they are to be saved. Look at everyone around you as someone needing to be loved because it is God's work alone to judge people. We, as Christians, are to be the light of the world. Remember always it is God alone who gives us the strength to do ANYTHING. We are just weak and unable to save ourselves apart from God. Our sole source of pride should be in our Wonderful Maker!

 

[Bible2]

kpfru2 said in post 1:

Anyway i have been going through a process of repentance, and forgiving people who may have wronged me, but i feel so proud, hypocritical and fake, like im not being myself, and have little to no peace at all.

Regarding "forgiving people" and having "little to no peace at all", sometimes we don't have peace yet because we haven't truly forgiven yet. One thing that can help us to truly forgive is remembering that if we don't forgive other people, God won't forgive us for our sins (Mt. 6:15).

kpfru2 said in post 1:

I feel more lost then before i came to Jesus.

We can sometimes feel that way when he's trying to dig out some problem deep within us that we ignored before we came to him. It's like someone undergoing surgery feeling worse than before they came to the surgeon.

kpfru2 said in post 1:

I find it hard to pray, because when i come to God, i either find myself putting on a "reverent voice" that isnt from my heart, or Being disrespectful and feeling the victim, or just feel like i can't open up, like there is some closed door in my heart.

Regarding "some closed door in my heart", sometimes we've subconsciously hardened our hearts against God because of something bad that happened in our life (for example, the divorce of our parents). We could be subconsciously blaming God for letting that bad thing happen, instead of using his power to keep it from happening. If that's the case, we need to pray & ask him to bring to our mind whatever is coming between us & him (Ps. 139:23-24), & to help us not to harden our heart against him (Heb. 3:15).

 

[christcentred]

Dear kpfru2,

Praise God for your story! I struggled with the same issues. I wasn't sure if I was a Christian, if God heard my prayers and I often judged others.

Have you been taught about the flesh? The flesh is the part of you that was there before you were a Christian. Now you are a Christian the flesh and the Spirit (the new part of you) are fighting for control. That's why it can sometimes seem even worse when you've become a Christian. The flesh is fighting back!

Don't be too concerned by your feelings. Sometimes you will need to tell yourself off for your feelings, because it is the flesh that's really doing the talking. We see the psalmist doing this. He says:

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God (Ps 42:5)
​

He is telling himself not to be cast down, but to hope in God. That is what we must do. We must tell ourselves to trust in God and not believe the lies.


The best thing to do is stare long and hard at the Bible. When you are looking at challenges, make sure they challenge you not everyone else around you.

But more importantly, look at what it shows you about how amazing God is. It's important to see your sin, but it's more important to see his greatness. That will go a long way to helping your prayer life too.

Let me know if there's anything else I can help you with.

 

[kpfru2]

thank you all for your advice. its so appriciated. Yeah i know about the flesh and the Spirit. I actually found my self just wondering why i would do something that I despise and think discusting and know that is wrong (i fell back into inappropriate content yesterday it was over in seconds and i downloaded a filter after), Something inside me wants it but something else hates it. But i feel guilty for the bit that wants it? inappropriate content/masturbation that is. I was just meditating on the event and even said the words "i don't understand what i do" without purposefully quoting Paul which i found comforting. But if I have purpsefully watched inappropriate content and masturbated ( didnt really enjoy it, nor really lust over the women, was more just to release the build up, used to touch like 3 times a day or more before becoming a christian.) do I just confess it and repent and say sorry and hope in God's awesome mercy and grace?

Also just want to say, I quoted a job for my 3rd or 4th time at work a few days ago, and prayed that day that i'd quote it well and that the job would work, as I have been having problems at work from the mental stress. Did the job today and it went so smoothly, nothing went wrong, and when you build scaffolding, its likely to run into problems. Not only did i not run into problems but it actually worked alot better then what I had quoted. Thanks God!on top of that it lightly rained, all day, I ENJOY RAIN! Just get a sense of God's goodness to the world, and remember the verse, He sends rain on the just and the unjust, the thankful and the unthankful. perfect day after falling into gross sin twice the night before, again not really understanding circumstances or if i am forgiven for this gross sin i have backslid into.

 

[christcentred]

Lol it's so hard to summarise what you should do in a post.

"do I just confess it and repent and say sorry and hope in God's awesome mercy and grace? "

The answer is yes and no.

Yes you need to trust that when you confess your sin and repent that God forgives you because of what Jesus has done.

But no because you do need to stop masturbating and work hard at fighting it. Have a read of this John Piper article, it may help you. Go to Desiring God website and search for "Anthem strategies for fighting lust" (sorry I can't link it, I'm too new)

 

[kpfru2]

yeah i'll fight it with all I got. I sometimes justify it, and agree that maybe to some people it might not be a sin, and I don't judge them cause i don't have a concrete answer but to me it definately is. Thanks for you help!

 

[AvgJoe]

hey guys
not to long ago i opened the bible, read the gospel of John and somewhere in reading that i suddendly believed that Jesus was who he said he was.

Anyway i have been going through a process of repentance, and forgiving people who may have wronged me, but i feel so proud, hypocritical and fake, like im not being myself, and have little to no peace at all. Before i believed in Jesus ( about 3 months ago) I believed when i was very young, prayed alot, and have to some degree an imprint on my soul of interaction with God at a young age, of Him doing more then i could think or imagine. then a life of drug alcohole inappropriate content and video game abuse sent me on another path, but i opened the bible and Bam, thats what happened, i stopped taking drugs, masturbating(although i have relapsed a few times) playing games (also played the seldom game) and drinking.

Welcome home brother!

Now i find myself being critical of others, surrounded by people who say they're christian (family members, one being a pastor - step dad, went through a divorce at a young age) but to my bible knowledge arn't living it out very well, and i see myself judging them for things i also struggle with, but don't know if i should like in corinthians, Not even eat with them, or shouldn't be judging them at all.

You're not alone, I struggle with this myself. The Bible calls you and I, and everyone else that does this, a hypocrite.

Matthew 7:1(NLT)
“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. 2 For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. 3 “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? 4 How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.

What are we really doing when we are critical of others, in this way? Whether we realize it, or not, we're tearing others down, in order to make ourselves look/feel better. It doesn't really work, though.

A few other verses that help me with this are:

Romans 12:3(NLT)
3)...Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves...

Phillipians 2:3-4(NLT)
3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

And remember this, no matter what you say, think or do, if it's not done in love, then it is meaningless and profits you nothing (1 Corinthians 13:1-3).

I feel like i don't know myself or the sound of my own voice, and certainly don't "know" or have "the knowledge or understand the fear of the Lord". I feel more lost then before i came to Jesus. I find it hard to pray, because when i come to God, i either find myself putting on a "reverent voice"that isnt from my heart, or Being disrespectful and feeling the victim, or just feel like i can't open up, like there is some closed door in my heart.



would love to hear what you think thanks heaps

Brother, you'll get through this.

 

[kpfru2]

Yeah thanks alot for encouragement. I am starting to spread my faith on facebook and to people, and wow the enemy just wants me to argue with them but i'm quickly reminded of 1 Corinthians 13:1-3. I'll pray for you, for true humility. It is my biggest need,

 

[parsley]

In addition to what others said...

You can see truth. God's light shines in dark corners, and reveals more information than you thought possible. He is a light unto our path...

John 1:5
The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.

Luke 11:36
Therefore, if your whole body is full of light, and no part of it dark, it will be completely lighted, as when the light of a lamp shines on you."

John 3:21
But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.

1 John 2:8
Yet I am writing you a new command; its truth is seen in him and you, because the darkness is passing and the true light is already shining.

Psalms 43:3
O send out Your light and Your truth, let them lead me; Let them bring me to Your holy hill And to Your dwelling places.

Luke 2:32
a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to your people Israel."


Luke 11:35
See to it , then, that the light within you is not darkness.


See also ..
Ephesians 5:9
Luke 15:8

You have seen painful glimpses of motivations that were not pure, tendencies that draw you away from Him, ways people harm others, ways that God is not presented well by His representatives... these are like the bright glare of the sun on a clear day.

The glaring light can bring sore eyes and headaches, or be taken in for a warm bake in the sun. A person can find healing with light rays, produce vitamin D, find their keys and long-lost sand shovel. Light reveals things, and brings out the truth.

It is not wrong to notice that the pastor has flaws. How you act on that information is where you decide how to be responsible, and build on that information for God's glory.

Will you encourage him to be a better man... nudge friends who want to be pastors... become a more authentic person yourself. Jesus was quite bold in holding God's representatives accountable. He knocked over tables, taught in the temple and talked with leaders, challenged the way they demanded much of followers.

I don't recommend you confront people with their faults -- he already knows what he did, and surely must have endured a lot of criticism for it. Instead, start looking at how truth can be used effectively -- as a positive force in people's lives.