Feeling used

[Gentle Lamb]

Has anyone ever felt used by their church? Like if your church seems more focused on what you can do to help them rather than how they can help you spiritually?

Also, how do you handle friendships where the other friend only reaches out to you if they want something?

 

[doughtz]

Has anyone ever felt used by their church? Like if your church seems more focused on what you can do to help them rather than how they can help you spiritually?

You going to the same church I used to be part of
I think churches will definitely try to enlist anybody willing to help. It's important to set boundaries. Sounds like you do help, so that is great! I think supporting the church is definitely an important part of being part of it.
There's a great book my wife has read called Boundaries by Dr. Cloud. You should check it out.

 

[seeking.IAM]

Like if your church seems more focused on what you can do to help them rather than how they can help you spiritually?

It really should be both, shouldn't it? We are the Church; we are the body of Christ to serve His people and His church in this place and time. Certainly, we should derive spiritual nurture out of our church experience, but there is more to it than that. The Church needs volunteers; we should not expect pastors to do everything. We need to serve the church just as it serves us.

Also, how do you handle friendships where the other friend only reaches out to you if they want something?

Those aren't friendships by my definition. Those are acquaintances. I would not feel compelled to handle them at all.

 

[Sparagmos]

Has anyone ever felt used by their church? Like if your church seems more focused on what you can do to help them rather than how they can help you spiritually?

Also, how do you handle friendships where the other friend only reaches out to you if they want something?

Who benefits from what the Church is asking you to do? Asking you to help and minister to others is important (who else if not you?) and it also feeds you spiritually.

 

[Unqualified]

Most teaching in churches requires study. You learn from Jesus what you teach. It should be a two way street I guess. But you can learn for yourself. Busy pastor.

 

[com7fy8]

Jesus feeds us while we do His will, what He is leading us to do. Plus, He provides us with genuine examples to share with us and help us.

So, you need to share with the ones who feed you good example, and do not let others take you elsewhere. There can be leaders who are not qualified . . . maybe type-A make-things-happen personalities who depend on control and charm and talk and education.

"nor as beings lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

Find and share with examples of how Jesus is and loves, who help you get real correction. And see what they are doing.

 

[timf]

Most churches are run as organizational systems (machine like). As a result, people can seem like components that need to be put in place to keep the machine running.

Some manage to form real relationships in spite of the mechanical aspects that seem to predominate. However, others can be left feeling used.

Some try to minimize their inclusion in the machine and keep most of their time for cultivating personal relationships.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

Most churches are run as organizational systems (machine like). As a result, people can seem like components that need to be put in place to keep the machine running.

Some manage to form real relationships in spite of the mechanical aspects that seem to predominate. However, others can be left feeling used.

Some try to minimize their inclusion in the machine and keep most of their time for cultivating personal relationships.

This exactly hits the nail on the head . Church just feels so Busy. Overly focused on doing and not so much focused on building a strong relationship with Christ. I am happy to serve, but the ultimate purpose should always be to strengthen the individual and corporate relationship with Christ. It just feels so much more like Martha than like Mary, which is what we should be. And God has been impressing upon me the importance lately of focusing on my relationship with Him. So I just feel used.