Feeling so alone and sad...any suggestions?

[hannahfievel]

Hello,

I am sort of new to this forum and I came here today and was just reading some posts and thought..."Why am I feeling so alone?"

I am most definately a golden eagle...and my children live away from home, my mom passed away last summer, and most of my friends work. I do know My Lord and Savior is here for me...but still feeling very sad and lonely. My DH is a very wonderful man, but not the best of listeners...and if I am feeling blue...this scares him...as I have dealt with depression in the past and I don't like over loading him with my blues and bring him down too! Ya' know? He already has more than enough on his plate...so...I came here for "support in Christ" with love in my heart...praying for a "little joy" in my life, amen.

I could ramble on about "all" my special problems, but I think I just need someone....anyone that has time to just chat with me and be my friend...who will "not" judge how I am living my life. As oldies but goodies...most of you know...been there, done that, and now I am bored with my life and don't know where to turn to "refind my fire for my Lord"! I really don't like feeling stagnant in my life, but I am...partly because I am depressed and have "no one" around me who I wish to dump my sadness on, as I fear I have loaded up all my friends with "enough of me"! I am really not liking myself at this particular moment in time...ugh!

It really feels like a total wilderness experience time for me...but I don't know why I can't seem to get out of the hole I am stuck in..."ANY SUGGESTIONS"???? Please and Thank you! A sad and lonely sister in Christ, hannah For help! Amen!

 

[mommysue]

Hannah, I have been where you describe! I have to leave in just a few minutes but I wanted you to know that there are many of us out here who love the Lord and those who call Him Lord. I will be praying for you and I will pray that the Lord will send the help you need, and pray that He will give me suggestions to help you. Remember.....you are NOT alone! Heb. 13:5 "For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you not forsake you." Cindy

 

[hannahfievel]

Thank you Cindy...your words brought "a tear of joy" to my heart! Looking forward to any words that will raise my spirit back to where it should be, amen!

Thank you again for caring...that alone is comforting! Sincerely, a sister in Christ, hannah

 

[davedajobauk]

Hello,

I am sort of new to this forum and I came here today and was just reading some posts
and thought..."Why am I feeling so alone?"

I am most definately a golden eagle...and my children live away from home
my mom passed away last summer, and most of my friends work.
I do know My Lord and Savior is here for me...but still feeling very sad and lonely.
My DH is a very wonderful man, but not the best of listeners...
and if I am feeling blue...this scares him...
as I have dealt with depression in the past and I don't like over loading him
with my blues and bring him down too! Ya' know?
He already has more than enough on his plate...
so...I came here for "support in Christ"
with love in my heart...praying for a "little joy" in my life, amen.

I could ramble on about "all" my special problems, but I think I just need someone....
anyone that has time to just chat with me and be my friend...
who will "not" judge how I am living my life.
As oldies but goodies...most of you know...been there, done that, and now
I am bored with my life and don't know where to turn to "refind my fire for my Lord"!
I really don't like feeling stagnant in my life, but I am...partly because
I am depressed and have "no one" around me
who I wish to dump my sadness on
as I fear I have loaded up all my friends with "enough of me"!
I am really not liking myself at this particular moment
in time...ugh!

It really feels like a total wilderness experience time for me...
but I don't know why I can't seem to get out of the hole I am stuck in...
"ANY SUGGESTIONS"???? Please and Thank you!
A sad and lonely sister in Christ, hannah For help! Amen!

Dear Sister Hannahfievel

Oh Hannah, don't I just know WHERE you are 'coming-from'

Family grown and gone...
your home still needs looking-after ...but, no-way, as much as it used-to
so MUCH 'free-time on your hands and mind
that you have (OBVIOUS) >> frustrated ENERGY
that somehow needs to be channeled
into the production of SOMETHING
so, to show you it YOUR LIFE, STILL has some value (?) (?)

By Example...then,
for we are all individuals and our upbringing has influence over this

WHAT WE NEED, is to obtain FEEDBACK

"I am here ! and........ OF-VALUE( some 'worth' )


When, I became, so 'excommunicated'
ie: no-friends except neighbours...
having been 'wrapped' in a family for 30 years
I felt, just as you do presently

Being AGAIN 'single' (in my case)
I looked around the internet for SOMEONE TO CHAT TO
(with)

and! when I got 'into forums' I found many with similar frustrations (?)
ie: SO WHAT DO I DO NOW..... because, some/many things no longer applied
NOW! (I then thought) I have only myself to care-for
and I dont NEED all day to do that !
WHAT will I do with the rest of my time?

"Get myself a hobby!"

TO FILL that spare time doing-something...
worthwhile... enjoyable... pleasing...
whereby at the end of the day I WOULD
have something-to-show 'some PRODUCT' (?)
so, to bolster my APPRECIATION of my WORTH

Unable to work (as years before) I was ISOLATED (alone) and feeling VERY DEFUNCT

Until I found a forum where, the then-members
had for the most part very similar outlook to that
I was also experiencing.
Some, were STILL-MARRIED but that same.... idleness
LACK of useful-purpose.....
it shone through every sentence they-wrote

Thus I felt, a form of BELONGING to some common 'aftermath'
USELESSNESS ??
The forum suddenly declined SERIOUSLY
with a couple of members engaging other members
with obscenity and attacking their posts with PERSONAL innuendo
(NOW DELETED)
I did my very best to bolster other members
and would join topics (under-attack)
to fend off the attacker and support the attacked
I failed! and the forum was closed temporarily

The new forum-rules means
that it is now heavily moderated/ censored and posts
can take four days to publish and SOME
dont make it No Reason Given

I determined (then) to make myself able, to write/author my own site (incl. forums)
that would, operate so-much better than had been
my experience thus-far

So I engaged courses in IT..
with City and Guilds certification
LOL
I have not gotten so far with the site just yet!

The divorce settlement... meant
that I had
A FEW tens of thousands of pounds in the bank
And, this, was my personal 'cushion'

I bought me a huge TV
and a Home Theatre surround sound system
(but I dont watch the run of the mill broadcast telly prog's) just decent films occasionally

My PC, it very often had me sat in front of it for
upto 18 hours in 24
and recently I did a 29 hours stint
supporting a desperate friend at the end of, MY DAY
potentially, (then) the end of her life
she is fine now though

I also bought myself Artists materials because I love to paint
(but I dont really have time to to spare for it.. not NOW)
I.T. has me well and truly attentive... why-how?

When, for reasons unknown to me (at that time)
my computer repeatedly crashed
requiring reformatting of the drives
I learned HOW to prevent that occuring by configuring the security
When 'movies' would stop/ go whilst the 'next bit'
was buffered... I bought equipment that could COPE

I discovered, that people my age
are For The Most Part 'of an ilk'
and they have a dearth of information and experience
at their disposal
USEFULNESS / feeling-good /helping /supporting /feedback
all..... NOW NEEDED for one's self (for a while)

"active minds.... need FEEDBACK"

I can Knit, Crochet and Sew
but holding needles and hook for long periods
can give me painful cramps, so I squeeze
a little foam ball to exercise hands and fingers
LOL despite all of the time I spend at PC
I do not yet suffer from RSI nor, do I have flat butt syndrome

So, what did all the above say ????

Don't just sit there thinking about you
get-out there
and involve yourself in something that
NOT ONLY 'holds your-interest'
but that also gives you the 'feedback' you require

as you probably worked-out already
I use my PC and internet connection to do JUST-THAT!!

The Lord says "Do it from where you are"
iow you dont have-to travel the world,
UNLESS YOU WANT TO /are able

"actions speak louder than words"

KEEP BUSY !


your Bro in Jesus

dave

 

[davedajobauk]

Looking Back
at those early days... abused / deserted / alone

I didnt WALK ALONE >>> I had a job to walk (in fact)
imprisoned, it seemed, within a flat
Friends of yesteryear were 30+ years older and so was I

The internet, provided me over time, with ANGELS
that would pick me up (raise my spirits)
and my appreciation of my WORTH to the world at-large

One, such special Angel, though!! was present
in the background through several forums that I joined
and initially enjoyed. She was also there when I found
myself with NOWHERE TO GO

This, angel brought me here to CF BIG WARM GLOW
and now, look at me
Not a fragile bit about me

We are not alone who have Jesus with and inside us
in-spirit, and can join and enjoy shared-communion
with others in-faith here in CF

The internet and my increasing knowledge of IT
gave opportunity, both for my writing to be seen
and also for me to see the writing of others
and, many from the heart...
Where did this ability come from
Where will it go

To begin with, it looked like some mountain-to-climb
yet-another, language or two to learn
I became empowered/able

I praise the Lord for my ability to respond to PROBLEMS
as and when they PEEP.... For sending Angels to
influence my thinking and my dear friend Miggles
for her internet-'company' and also for signposting-me here
David became Goliath and Goliath became dajobauk

I am supported by the Love of Jesus

I truly enjoy the respect of my now MANY FRIENDS

I enjoy the company fairly regularly of a very special lady (Mary)
and she will visit again Friday thru Monday
The following weekend, I will be moved
182 miles to her home, which we will make 'our home' together
We will be wed later this year

my cup doth overflow



dave

 

[Jim1927]

You may think that a pastor would never experience these things, but the fact remains, the pastor is the most personally isolated person in a church. How do we combat these feelings? We remember the things we preached over the years, took our minds off self and constantly looked to others, including the Lord and His promises.

Having been trained in the field, I find at least one person each day, in real life, to chat with and offer a listening ear, an open heart and finally words of hope and encouragement. We can ALL engage in this.

Cheers,

Jim

 

[hannahfievel]

Truly...Wow! Thank you all for the encouragement...I "did" really need to hear what you all wrote.

Pastor...I had never thought about how lonely it could be at the top...I am happy though that the Lord has brought you through! May He help me too!

And, I cannot go further without saying "Thank you and "you are totally right" brother Dave...I am feeling useless to everyone! And, I need to stop just sitting and thinking about "myself"...when I "know" there are soooo many people in worse shape than me. Wow, my late dear mother was indeed right...I "am" selfish...Yuck! And, the Lord...Right now....HE needs to fix that in me, amen! Thanks for the tough love, a sister in Christ, hannah

 

[davedajobauk]

Sister Hannah

When surrounded by darkness We LOOK for The Light

amen



dave

 

[rebornfree]

Hi Hannah,

Welcome to the forum. You know depression can be chemical. I wonder if it's worth seeing the doctor? I'm not saying that is the cause of yours, but it just might be. I've suffered from it, on and off, for over 30 years so I can sympathise.

I don't think you are selfish to ask for help, and people to talk to. God tells us to love others as ourselves, not more than. You are important too! I also think that women are natural nurturers and carers and we find it hard when there is no-one there. (Gentlemen I'm not saying you don't get lonely too, and Jim I hadn't realised how lonely a pastor's job could be until you mentioned it.)

I get lonely too. We never had children, and it's hard to be childless and over 50, especially as most of my friends are parents. My husband left, and although God has given me promises for a future marriage it is very hard waiting. But I've joined this, and two other internet sites specific to my situation. One of the things I love about the net is the international flavour of it. I'm also part of a loving church, although the family nature of it is hard in my circumstances. Do you have caring friends in your church?

You have had several losses recently, with your mother and your children living away. Maybe you need to grieve a bit. It is very hard, but I'm convinced that we need to do it to come out the other end. There is hope!! Perhaps you could ask God to give you a promise about your future. He probably has some wonderful plans for you; perhaps moving you into new things. Remember Jeremiah 29v11. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I'll pray that God reveals something of what He has for you, to give you hope.
Sue

 

[gratefulgrace]

Hi Hannah
I too have struggles with feelings of isolation and depression. You are not alone. Many husbands want to "fix" the problem so are too quick to rush in with suggestions. I found the best ear was the Lord and I especially loved the Psalms especially 42 as David himself had many times of feeling terribly alone and isolated.
Psa 42:11Why am I discouraged? Why so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again- my Savior and my God!

 

[sk8Joyful]

Hello,
my children live away from home, my mom passed away last summer, and most of my friends work.
I do know My Lord and Savior is here for me...but still feeling very sad and lonely. and can't seem to
get out of the hole I am stuck in... I am bored with my life and don't know
where to turn to "refind my fire for my Lord"! so...I came here for a "little joy" in my life, amen.
"ANY SUGGESTIONS"??? Please and Thank you!

Hi Hannah
I read that you 'Home-church'. Wonderful! -
How many different places (including starting here in CF)
where you can *share your sweet Testimony* of our Savior & Resurrector Jesus Christ.

You asked for Suggestions. Well, how about volunteering
1. as a nanny in a Pediatric-hospital ward, where too many children are left, abandoned by bio-parents.
They are "stuck" (aside, as physical pin-cushions). They are really stuck, sad, lonely & alone. And they need, so desperately someone who cares, enough to Advocate for them, as God's children, Hannah.
and
2. School-programs, like in Regular - where you can Guide/Mentor a child in reading; or
like in Special-ed - where you can help Calm/Relax a troubled-child.
and
3. in a homeless Shelter, including Soup-kitchen, & Food-bank, are 1000's more, also sad, lonely & alone. They too are crying for, and wanting, a friend.
and
4. Nursing-homes, where millions are further abandoned, by their families. How often do you visit there, and how about informally Adopting one, into your heart.
and
5. Alternatively, you can start some 'seeds', or leaves (like Aloes, African-violets, or Geraniums) in small pots, and share/teach these in a multitude of environments (like Homeschooling, etc) - such that soon you will have more Social-service projects, than you have time... , and ALL to PRAISE GOD.

How do I know of these ideas as activities?, dear Hannah. Simple. I have shared each of the above; and when people asked: "Why care, so much?" ~
my response always is "JESUS says "Inasmuch as you LOVE one another, you love Me. And Great shall be your JOY, and peace".

I bear Testimony that so engaged *joy* can (not as you originally asked for as "a little joy"". no).
You will experience Living LOVE, & Loving LIFE - and yes you, Hannah, will also know JOYful fun... to overflowing... Annie

 

[leytonstones]

Just wondering how hannah is as I haven't seen her post here in a while?

 

[davedajobauk]

Hi Leyt'

Perhaps Hannah took advice from rebornfree
re: seeing her doctor

I was put on 'paroxetine'
but, was able to leave off the seventh month's
prescription, when, an angel, came-along
and gave me 'hope' for my life
and a gateway
to my future-meeting of, Miggles, whom, brought me to CF [?]

Circumstances, might have removed her connection_
a PC virus ?
or, disconnection following financial crisis ?

let us
for ABSENT members...
that they be upheld through perhaps 'difficult times'
are strengthened and led, to remain in our Lord's way

Let us not allow our Faith in Jesus to waver

dave

 

[janny108]

Hello,

I am sort of new to this forum and I came here today and was just reading some posts and thought..."Why am I feeling so alone?"

I am most definately a golden eagle...and my children live away from home, my mom passed away last summer, and most of my friends work. I do know My Lord and Savior is here for me...but still feeling very sad and lonely. My DH is a very wonderful man, but not the best of listeners...and if I am feeling blue...this scares him...as I have dealt with depression in the past and I don't like over loading him with my blues and bring him down too! Ya' know? He already has more than enough on his plate...so...I came here for "support in Christ" with love in my heart...praying for a "little joy" in my life, amen.

I could ramble on about "all" my special problems, but I think I just need someone....anyone that has time to just chat with me and be my friend...who will "not" judge how I am living my life. As oldies but goodies...most of you know...been there, done that, and now I am bored with my life and don't know where to turn to "refind my fire for my Lord"! I really don't like feeling stagnant in my life, but I am...partly because I am depressed and have "no one" around me who I wish to dump my sadness on, as I fear I have loaded up all my friends with "enough of me"! I am really not liking myself at this particular moment in time...ugh!

It really feels like a total wilderness experience time for me...but I don't know why I can't seem to get out of the hole I am stuck in..."ANY SUGGESTIONS"???? Please and Thank you! A sad and lonely sister in Christ, hannah For help! Amen!

Hi Hannah,
I feel that way too sometimes. I've gone to a church for 8 months and still don't feel like I have "special" friends. We are away from family too, but it was not that good while we lived there.... long story..
I guess I've made friends here before then they move away(it's transient here) and the older one gets, it's kind of harder to make friends. I'm also in school, where I can't volunteer much. We have a 9 year old still at home.

Jan

 

[sk8Joyful]

Just wondering how hannah is as I haven't seen her post here in a while?

Hannah is actively posting in CF's 'Unorthodox theology', 'Non-denominational', as well as 'Blessings exchange', plus more.

Hopefully she's stayed, safely-away from Neuroleptic-dependence, as I know some christians right now including some on CF, going thru depression med-Withdrawals & that's no piece of cake.

GOD's answers are much safer, & more productive...

Annie

 

[davedajobauk]

Oui !! une suggestion certainment!!!

c'est! un pun !

A thief in Paris
planned to steal some paintings from the
Louvre.​

​

After careful planning, he got past security, stole
the paintings and made it safely to his van.
However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.​

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and the make such an obvious error, he replied,
Monsieur that is the reason I stole the paintings.​

​

I had no Monet ​

​

to buy Degas​

​

to make the Van Gogh ​

​

See if you have De Gaulle
to send this on to someone else.​

​

I sent it to you because I figured I had nothing Toulouse.​

..........................​

​

​

Thanks Bro'



dave

 

[Savedsis]

I haven't seen Hannah either...Hope she is ok
Janny I am praying for you...I pray you find some friends there where you attend church and where you live.
Do you know anyone at the school where your daughter goes? Another mother?
We most certainly will be your friends here....
Wait on the Lord Janny it is a guaranteed prescription for gaining the reality of God's Word and being renewed in His strength..

 

[sk8Joyful]

I haven't seen Hannah either...Hope she is ok

Hi Sharon

I answered that question, here

#13

Yesterday, 04:19 PM

Luv ya Annie

 

[RadMan]

Psalm 51

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me away from Your presence,
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.

 

[Savedsis]

Psalm 51

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me away from Your presence,
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.

Amen....Have a good day in the Lord.