feeling low

[newlite]

ive been threw depression for years. im finnally fine, but ive found my self confidence is still low and im never sure of anything. im always questioning myself and never like telling ppl things incase im wrong. even if im told something i doubt it. im trying to change my life and im trying to get it back on track but with my low self estem and stuff im never able to do anything or ask. if i do i either sound dumb or like im whinning or something. i found ive sparated myself from other ppl and dont talk much (other then forums like this). like i said i want to change and make friends but i just i dont know cant. im always nervse and never really think stright. i want to work at a camp, but you need previous experince. working at a church funtion like dvbs would be good but i need to ask. i dont know how to ask. my life all compicated and im watching some u.s. didnt land on the moon program...just, i want to me normal or what ever. i just dont know how. camp would boast my confidence but then back to all the other thing. im just confused and not sure and alot. i dont know. just please pray

 

[ukok]

I will most definately pray for you I would like to add also, that although these feelings may never completely dissapear, it is possible to learn to live with them, and to override that lack of confidence, God's grace is bountiful!

I know what it's like to want to be 'normal'...but you know what, when you take a look around you, isn't it often the case, that those who appear most confident often have problems of their own to deal with, that seem equally insurmountable ? . If there is one thing that i have learned about people, it is that there isn't amnyone who 'has it all'. For some of us our problem is about confidence, for others it might be being seen as offensive and obnoxious to others, because of that confidence.

consider tkaing baby steps...do just one small thing (that may seem huge to you), like asking to participate in something....what do you think is the worst thing that oculd happen in this scenario ? Most likely, anyone wouldf be glad of someone offering to lend a hand! Remember, your self perception is most likely, not the way in which others perceive you

God bless you.

 

[Rafael]

The foundation we have in this life is the Bible and the Holy Spirit Jesus sent for us. When we read the words of the Bible, they impart Spirit and life to those that want to hear what God says for their lives. Pray and ask God for these things you have expressed here, and then believe that you will have them. The Bible says that with patience we possess our souls, by standing firm in His Word of truth.
You are a very young person, and I am surprised how quickly young persons are growing up and asking big questions for life. I'm 53 and can tell you that studying the Word of God and praying, seeking first the Kingdom of God, is the most important thing you can do for having a good life. By seeking God first, He will add all the other good things to your life automatically. You can be confident in the Lord's help. Put your esteem in Him, and when He lifts you up, then who can put you down?
So, be patient and don't get in a hurry. You will grow into being more confident, but as you do, build up your faith in the Word of God.

Mt 6:33 "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

John 6:63 It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.

Jas 4:10 When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on him, he will lift you up and give you honor.

Hebrews 13:6 That is why we can say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper, so I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?"

Lu 21:19 In your patience possess ye your souls.

 

[newlite]

i can do it. i cant do nothing. i cant evenhfx

 

[newlite]

io dont know. i cant post nothing. i can got anything out. i dont no. thats it. i just do know,. i have not a clue what im doing. i crying for no reason. i need help but whos listing. i just hate this. i hate everything. i was ok. i was doing good. its just like last year. nothings different. i with ppl who dont care. no one knows anything. i just hate myself. i cant fininsh anything. i cant get anythign out. i caoulnd spell stupid. i cant do nothing. im frozen. i dont now why. i was ok. the is just like before. why. i thought i got it. i thought ev erything m,ade sence. buit i dont know. i cant even look at the screen. i just freeze. i ways goingt o erase the entire thing. i need help bubt i can t get it. i dont know whay. im not sure. im just need something. i dont know wwhat. i know god. i really do. i thought cit was it io thought thats why. i dont know,. i cant fisih anything. i cant do nothing. now i feel dumb. im going no boiut nothin. i aslwasy do this. this is me. im a lie. ive always neebn you cant stop what you are. im just i hate saying i dont knkow. i hate it. i just hate everything. i dont know whay. i was fine an hour ago. i ws fine a day ok. last week ai was happy. i was signing. i was whistleing. i dont know what. i was listing tio this is a call. well this is my call. and no one can hekp me. not one can talk to me. i cant raead. im crying. i just dont know. i dont cry. crying aint me. i hide. i need help. im saying this here. i dont know why. what can anytone do.. i sure you cant understand this. i dont knoiw whayt im writnig anymore. i dont waht im doing. im afried. and i dont know why. what is this. killing myself had i good feeling. i knew something. i nekw the emoption. this aint it. tyhis aint depression. is it/ i dont know. im lost. i cant ask for help. no none know i need. it. my head hurtd.i dont know. i hate thinking,. i hate everything, why do i hate heverything. why am i me. i knew what i was going to sod. i was chaniogng my life. i was a chirstain. what am i. i domnt know. i dont know annying. i eat i sleep. tahts all i do. im nearingsr.gr im mad a t me. i dont know. i cant finish waht im saying. i cant understand nothing. im justt digging a deeper hole dofr. myself. i cuzed this. i made me me.it was my fault. i finnally found somewhere to hang out. try to make friends. i feel anyole. why. why. i just wanna be me. myself. i wanna be the guy i am. not this. 5this aint me. i dont know. i thought that.l changeing i still done now. i cant see the keys no ,more. im just typeing keys that i think are the letters. i cant type. i cant spell. no ones here. why am i alone. where god. here here but where. im looking. i try. but everything makes me mad or sad. i need to know whyat to do. i know what i have to. i need some thing. help but where. i wrote a whole [page of this jusrt niow. why am i continuing? nothings changed. nothing. i just dont know. i wanna clear my head. i cant sleep. is anyone even reading this. i dont want you. i dont want help. i dont want nothing. i wan t to crawl back in my lkittle hoile. excape everythin. i cant face the world no more. i cant do nothing. schools a joke . no one likes me. im just back to me. this is to long right the computer wount even let me post it. life hates me. i hate life

 

[newlite]

my mom was just here. why can i tell her anything. why can i tell no noe nothing. i dont get it. i dont. i dont know. my whole life doubt. i tell not one. its just me. no one care. im the topic killer. i dont know. things go wrong with me. it true. i dont know. i srew up with everything. i cant keep nothing right. ppl advoid me. i advoid them. its better being along. its safer. why do i like satfy? its just fake. we all die somethine. whyu am i so scared of life. i hate night. i cant sleep. i think everythings going to srew up. i hate ppl. everytones just going to put me somewhere they dont need to deal with me.l no one deals with me. everyone just leaves me alone. im calling but no one cares. its not me. i m like gullum. i have to personatilities. i never come uout. im just to me. its the fake, trying to fit in, i hate everything me. i need something. i wanna live. i died years back. grade one. im not living. im not doing anything. im tireed. im board. i want to go home. where is home. i have none, saying that makes me hate me even more. i got money. i got food. i got stuff. i sleep in a bed. psome ppl dont. and im mad? how. im better off. tahts just worese. it make me more miserable. nothing happens right. ppl never ask me. i live like that. ppl think im fine. ppl who need help the most never get it. why didnt i ask for my counsuler number. i knoiw it. but i cant use it. i dont know why. long distance. tarckable. hes not there.; hes at camp. doing something. i need someone. someone. i asked god last year to send me siomeone. i got it. why not now. why would he not want me to get help. who carse about the bible. its versus after versus. i dont get.l chuirch is pointless. it aint for me.old pl. i get nothing of it. camp was good. i got it. i wqant to go to camp. i want something. i need something.l what is it. i just saying stuff and i cant see thew keyborad again. . why does everything sound wrong. why am i this. im not like this. im happy. this is the old me. i cahanged. i hate this. i dont even know whayt this is. whyat is my problem. do i even had one. how can this end. i was done. i got threw it. now i sheare my story with the other ppl like me. where is them. m one change i always blow it. i said id work. i fail. can you even fail. im killing myself here. i dont even know what that means. im just here and alone anfd fs. i not alone.l; what the heck is wrong with me. i n gy.i dont know. this is where you swaear. at lifes end. i cant even do thnat. i cant do nothing. i hide. momm does get the hat. its to hide. one one sees me crying. she didnt. it works. i hate that it works. i cant control myself. im a slave to something. i cant break free. i got no self nothing. what happened. i dont4 know. i just dont know.fh. someone again...

 

[newlite]

my mom and sis now. d bffhhhh. i just wanna cry. mi going to just sleep. only thing i really can do. sleep and cry.

 

[newlite]

ck of this. i hate this. i want to excape this. i love here i want to once again sweep everything away and hide. i cant. i hate it i cant. i need to shuit up.

 

[HoosierCanuck]

i can do it. i cant do nothing. i cant evenhfx

I know this sounds cliche' but this is exactly what Satan wants you to believe. Confidence is a weak spot for you and he knows it and knows that if you have confidence you'll do what God wants and he doesn't like that so he attacks you strongly in this area. I pray for a release of the devil's stronghold on you. I know what it feels like. It hurts. You feel miserable and worthless but YOU ARE NOT! You are still young and there is time to heal and move on and follow your dreams. If you can dream it, you can achieve it (I know, another cliche'). It just takes time. It won't happen overnight even though we'd like it to.

 

[newlite]

im better now. its just my entire life ive been told that im stupid and dumb and other **** and im sick and tired of it. im just starting to believe it. im trying, i am but everything just goes wrong. im not quite sure what to do. i know im not alone. there ppl all around me i can ask. i wanna ask. i want to talk. but something keeps me back. i dont know what. im praying. but i just somethimes feel alone. im not. that makes me feel even stupider like im trying to self pity myself. i dont know anymore. and that qoute is supose to say i cant even finish my thoughts... i couldnt finish typing it thought...i dont even know why. my entire life is fear and disapointment. i cant seem to brake threw. it just seems i come back...

 

[HoosierCanuck]

I have soooooooooo been there! I still end up there occasionally. My whole life I have been made fun of or rejected because of the way I look. It ticks me off big time. I either get depressed or angry. Neither emotion does any good though. It takes some getting used to but you just have to realize that other PEOPLE'S opinions don't shape who you REALLY are. Fear is a tough one to crack. I'm dealing with fear in my life right now in many areas. It sucks. I'm tired of feeling like all I can do in this life is settle for second best because fear keeps me from 'going for it.'

Anyway, I'm prayin' for ya dude.

 

[newlite]

i do you not let ppl bring you down? i went biking today. less then an hour. in a small hick town. the three ppl i saw gave my wierd looks and once again made fun of me asking "if i need a friend". i really do. they dont know how much i do. they dont know how far in depression they pushed me. nor do they care. how do you stop this. ill never move. ill never switch schools. ill never get back. what can i do. i got no where to run. no one to talk to. some days i just feel like locking myself in my closet. i just cant excape it. i cant cope with it. how am i going to survive school?

 

[fishstix]

You need to sit down and talk with someone about this - preferably your parents. You aren't alone or abnormal - lots of people deal with the same things that you are going through. Many find help from counsellors and some get medication from their doctor that helps them out as well. I can't tell you if medication is right for you, but a real life counsellor would have a better idea. But the first thing to do is to talk this over with someone, like I said preferably your parents.

If you're feeling good when you read this, that should make it a bit easier for you to sit down and discuss it with them. Don't feel that you don't need to discuss it because just now you're ok. On the other hand, if you're feeling down when you read this you may feel like you can't possibly talk with anyone. You can though. You can do all things through Christ who strenghthens you. And that includes talking this over with your parents. And even if you're already getting help from a counsellor or doctor, talking things over with your parents is still a good thing to do as they can give you extra support in your day to day life, between appointments with outside people. So regardless of how you are feeling right now, get off your computer, say a short prayer for help in discussing this with your parents, and then go talk with them about it. You can do it, I have faith in you, and more importantly, God has faith in you.

 

[TheMainException]

Try some counseling...it can be very valuable for situations like this.

 

[TheMainException]

Also...can't forget this part...I'll be praying.

 

[sjanae76]

Wow, I totally could have written what you've said when I was younger. Sometimes I still feel that way.

First of all, have you ever been evaluated for ADD? There are some online tests that you can take to find out. Just do a search for ADD tests. I'll try to find the one from Dr. Amen's site. He is an expert on ADD/ADHD. The reason I'm asking you this, is because a lot of what you're saying sounds like you may have it. Not finishing things, not fitting in, even depression can be symptoms.

Second, I really want you to know that 15 is young. You've got your whole life ahead of you. I know that these feelings consume you, and you can't look past them, but please try. What you're saying scares me, because I know how you feel, and we've all seen the horrible things that can happen in these situations. (school shootings, suicide, etc. . .) I remember in 7th grade I was so horribly depressed and felt worthless (mostly due to some 9th graders who felt they had to continuously insult me and make my life hell). I didn't have the guts to do anything myself, but I remember wanting someone to just shoot me.

Now that I'm an adult, I realize that I have a purpose in life. I don't know what it is, but looking back, I can see God's hand in my life. I did some pretty stupid stuff when I was 19, and look back and think, wow, I could have been raped, I could have died, who knows what else He protected me from.

My point is that 15 is too young to give up. You said something about changing schools. Is this an option for you? Maybe you just need a different environment. People who don't know you. This isn't always the answer, but you could explore it.

I would also encourage you to find someone to talk to. When I was your age I didn't have a good relationship with either of my parents, so I never talked to them about anything. Find someone! Big Brothers/ Big Sisters? (don't know the age limits for that) Boystown hotline? Someone from your church?

Try to be more active. Volunteer somewhere. You'll feel good helping someone. Personally, I would love to volunteer at an animal shelter. Animals love you no matter what!

Most important, know that God loves you! I know that sounds cheesy, but think about the actual implications of that. The almighty creator of the universe loves YOU! Jesus died for YOU! If you were the only person on the earth he would have done that just for you! He loves you THAT MUCH!

If you EVER need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate! Even though I don't know you I CARE about you!

 

[sjanae76]

This is the ADD site I mentioned.

http://www.amenclinic.com/ac/addtests/

I also wanted to ask if you've ever tried to talk to your parents? Maybe you could put your thoughts into a letter. I'm sure they care about you and love you. Maybe they don't know what you need. If you don't tell them, how can they help you? I know it will be difficult, but it is so important!

Please don't give up on yourself. You're too young! I know things are tough right now, but high school is only temporary. Look to the future! Please.