i don't knoe why, but i always feel that i don't deserve happiness. i don't knoe why......i feel selfish if i do things i like, sometimes i even feel i should be ppl's servants even. this is how much i feel that i shouldn't have happiness.
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feeling like i don't deserve
- Thread starter myquestions
- Start date
Did you do harm to someone to feel happy? Are you happy at another one's expense? If not, there's no reason to feel guilty. You should be joyous that God has granted happiness in your life, not rejecting it!
You are a good person myquestions. All your posts here show your kindness and consideration towards other people, but you needn't put yourself down all the time. When God lets joy come across your path, be joyous and share it with Him!
You are a good person myquestions. All your posts here show your kindness and consideration towards other people, but you needn't put yourself down all the time. When God lets joy come across your path, be joyous and share it with Him!
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goldenviolet
Holy is the Lord God Almighty
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Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
's for you hun
A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
's for you hun
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I dont know if anyone is truly happy or at least what we think happy means, one sets the bar to high perhalps, dont judge youself on others because you never know just how happy they are really, people that one sees happy may not be as happy as we presume, everyone gets troubles of their own. dont look to far ahead, tomorrow is another day, live for today & think positive, enjoy the positives & stay positive.
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HumbleUnderdog
Well-Known Member
Well myQ, about 3 or 4 months ago i was in your exact same shoes. I couldn't do anything i wanted or needed, I felt selfish for some odd reason by doing so, and in turn had a heavy guilty consious for a long time.
So then at my lowest point, and at my most highest frustration i prayed saying "you there, the God, the real God, if there really is a real God, show yourself now, do something for me here, I need a hand here, and now!"
I woke up about two or three days later and my guilty consious was gone, vanished. I was actually freaked out and kinda eery for the next couple days until i realized what had actually happened ...actually to this day i'm still kinda spooked by it, especially cause i never did anything to cause that, therapy was going really really slow, anti-depressants weren't working, plus even if they did the one i was on doesn't just start working overnight like that. Obviously it was a miracle. After that i read more of the bible and Jesus' life and every time I read it i could sorta 'feel' this wisdom and love and things like that sort of 'enter' me and take over. By studying the bible very deeply and closely and studying Jesus in particular I took his example of wisdom and love and things and made that a part of me.
And with that new found wisdom i was able to think back through my life and figure out the events, the thoughts, the behaviours, and the fancy Dr Phil-type psychology problems that lead up to me feeling guilty, and that went all the way back to the way I was raised as a baby.
The way my parents treated me, making me feel guilty and yelling at me for doing certain things wrong, or for doing things right but not doing it the exact same way that way wanted you. They kept throwing guilt at me and didn't even show any desire to forgive. No wonder i battled depression for so long. Being teased at school and mouthed off at from the mean guys who got on my case for not kicking a tennis ball properly during ball hockey.
From that i realized that this wasn't my fault. Well okay, i had let my parents sinfulness get to me, but i was like 3 or 4 since i can remember when it was the first time they yelled at me like that. But with this miracle that happened, i was able to realize that i don't have to let their burdens become my burdens. That they don't have intoxicate me like that, that they didn't raise their child through love. Once i realized that, whatever guilt or burden or issue that i had with my parents just faded away and vanished. So apparently God helped me take it even a step further. The happiness grows each day too, as i learned that i'm entitled to be happy, especially since God made us in the first place to be happy and joyful. Joy is one of the fruits of the spirit after all.
Yeah this turned out to be more of a testimony, but that's how i became happy withouy feeling any guilt or worry, and without feeling undeserving.
So then at my lowest point, and at my most highest frustration i prayed saying "you there, the God, the real God, if there really is a real God, show yourself now, do something for me here, I need a hand here, and now!"
I woke up about two or three days later and my guilty consious was gone, vanished. I was actually freaked out and kinda eery for the next couple days until i realized what had actually happened ...actually to this day i'm still kinda spooked by it, especially cause i never did anything to cause that, therapy was going really really slow, anti-depressants weren't working, plus even if they did the one i was on doesn't just start working overnight like that. Obviously it was a miracle. After that i read more of the bible and Jesus' life and every time I read it i could sorta 'feel' this wisdom and love and things like that sort of 'enter' me and take over. By studying the bible very deeply and closely and studying Jesus in particular I took his example of wisdom and love and things and made that a part of me.
And with that new found wisdom i was able to think back through my life and figure out the events, the thoughts, the behaviours, and the fancy Dr Phil-type psychology problems that lead up to me feeling guilty, and that went all the way back to the way I was raised as a baby.
The way my parents treated me, making me feel guilty and yelling at me for doing certain things wrong, or for doing things right but not doing it the exact same way that way wanted you. They kept throwing guilt at me and didn't even show any desire to forgive. No wonder i battled depression for so long. Being teased at school and mouthed off at from the mean guys who got on my case for not kicking a tennis ball properly during ball hockey.
From that i realized that this wasn't my fault. Well okay, i had let my parents sinfulness get to me, but i was like 3 or 4 since i can remember when it was the first time they yelled at me like that. But with this miracle that happened, i was able to realize that i don't have to let their burdens become my burdens. That they don't have intoxicate me like that, that they didn't raise their child through love. Once i realized that, whatever guilt or burden or issue that i had with my parents just faded away and vanished. So apparently God helped me take it even a step further. The happiness grows each day too, as i learned that i'm entitled to be happy, especially since God made us in the first place to be happy and joyful. Joy is one of the fruits of the spirit after all.
Yeah this turned out to be more of a testimony, but that's how i became happy withouy feeling any guilt or worry, and without feeling undeserving.
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i dont' even feel deserving of ur times, but thanks so much .
i feel that i am nice to so many people, but it ends up me being hurt, so sometimes i am like maybe i was born to be a scape goat so others can have a happier life... sigh....i keep thinking this and thinking ok i should really just stop being a scape goat because it's not making me happy, but then i just can't. i can't! something is stopping me. augh.
i feel that i am nice to so many people, but it ends up me being hurt, so sometimes i am like maybe i was born to be a scape goat so others can have a happier life... sigh....i keep thinking this and thinking ok i should really just stop being a scape goat because it's not making me happy, but then i just can't. i can't! something is stopping me. augh.
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HumbleUnderdog
Well-Known Member
What have you done to deserve someone elses blame? How are you a scapegoat? Don't you know that Jesus didn't deserve anyone's blame and yet still suffered for it?
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i don't kknoe why i feel like this =( i just don't knoe..... but i just feel like i must have done something wrong somewhere to deserve it maybe. or
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We are all sinners, no matter how hard we try, Christian's and non-Christian's alike. It is important to try to make the most of yout time and abilities. It's a choice. If you spend a lot of time dwelling on negative things, you use up time that you could be doing something positive with. You know, it is a choice to make the best of something or to feel down in the dumps (except for a few medical mental health conditions). Mind talk has a big impact on yourself - that is, what you tell yourself in your head. You can say, I don't deserve things and your subconsious will believe you and work to make things appear that way. YOu can use the opposite approach too.
Here is a practical activity to prove that mind-talk makes a difference.
Firstly, standup straight with your feet facing forwards. Hold your arms straight out in front of you. Fix your eyes on something in front of you at about head height.
Now, without bending your arms or moving your feet, rotate your body around and see how far you can turn. Note a place on the wall so that you know how far you went. Unwind.
Now sit down. This next step is to be done in your mind only. You might like music such as classical music playing or birds chirping outside or you might like quietness. Don't have loud rackety TV or music.
Imagine you are standing up with your feet facing forward, your arms straight in front of you and you are looking at that spot you looked at last time. Think about how relaxed your muscles feel (whether or not they are, you tell yourself they are). Imagine you start to turn your body. You are surprised how easily you turn and soon you have rotated far enough to reach the point you reached before, so you keep turning, past that point. Now, in your mind, unwind back to your starting point. Tell yourself you are flexible and it's amazing how far you can turn.
Now, repeat the previous step again - in your imagination only as per last time, but this time, make sure you turn you body (not feet) a full circle in your mind and be surprised how easy it is. Un wind.
Now, for a final time in your imagination, take yourself back to that standing position, feet facing forward, arms out straight. This time, turn the full circle in your mind and keep turning, getting faster and faster until you are like a cork screw you are so flexible. Slow down and unwind. Open your eyes.
Now, stand up for real in the same spot as last time. Put your arms out straight and your feet forward, looking straight ahead at the spot you chose at the beginning. Start to turn (for real). Keep turning. See how far you can turn.
Please write a post and let me know what you achieved - did you turn as far, less far or further after the three lots of imagining you could do it?
Here is a practical activity to prove that mind-talk makes a difference.
Firstly, standup straight with your feet facing forwards. Hold your arms straight out in front of you. Fix your eyes on something in front of you at about head height.
Now, without bending your arms or moving your feet, rotate your body around and see how far you can turn. Note a place on the wall so that you know how far you went. Unwind.
Now sit down. This next step is to be done in your mind only. You might like music such as classical music playing or birds chirping outside or you might like quietness. Don't have loud rackety TV or music.
Imagine you are standing up with your feet facing forward, your arms straight in front of you and you are looking at that spot you looked at last time. Think about how relaxed your muscles feel (whether or not they are, you tell yourself they are). Imagine you start to turn your body. You are surprised how easily you turn and soon you have rotated far enough to reach the point you reached before, so you keep turning, past that point. Now, in your mind, unwind back to your starting point. Tell yourself you are flexible and it's amazing how far you can turn.
Now, repeat the previous step again - in your imagination only as per last time, but this time, make sure you turn you body (not feet) a full circle in your mind and be surprised how easy it is. Un wind.
Now, for a final time in your imagination, take yourself back to that standing position, feet facing forward, arms out straight. This time, turn the full circle in your mind and keep turning, getting faster and faster until you are like a cork screw you are so flexible. Slow down and unwind. Open your eyes.
Now, stand up for real in the same spot as last time. Put your arms out straight and your feet forward, looking straight ahead at the spot you chose at the beginning. Start to turn (for real). Keep turning. See how far you can turn.
Please write a post and let me know what you achieved - did you turn as far, less far or further after the three lots of imagining you could do it?
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