Feeling like a lost believer

[Lisa R]

I know that the Lord is with me ...I'm just surrounded by darkness and can't seem to find my way to Him. 10 years ago, everything was good ...my dear husband and I were working, active in the church, able to help our families and people in the community. Today, he's gone ...left to pursue a relationship with a man ...I've lost everything, had to move to a new area and live with my parents again. I'm a 41 yr old child.

The people here are very different. I have no real friends ...everyone abandoned me when my husband left. I have no privacy and no control over my life. I have no more companionship ...my husband and I text and talk on the phone, but he's still gone. He was my whole life. I know God should have been in that spot, and now my life has been torn to shreds.

I pray and pray for the Lord to help me and He helps me through the struggle, but the pain never ends. I ask Him to just take me home, but He seems to still want me here for some reason. Meanwhile, I'm bitterly lonely with no real hope for companionship in sight because I cannot betray my husband. He's sick and I cannot leave him ...even if he no longer really wants me. I muddle through the best I can, but it's very difficult when I have no one to talk to and share things with ...there's no one else who's the same as me and can understand.

 

[JordanDaniel]

Wow Lisa, it must have hurt you deeply to have your own husband leave you to pursue a relationship with.....another man. Yet you two still text eachother. Your heart must have been broken into a million pieces. Yet you still call him your husband. That is indeed, true love. In ways I know the way you feel, your tired of this world and you just wanna go home. The home that has been destined for you since the beginning of time. A home where pain doesnt exist. Just pure love, the love that you have for your husband.

Im only 17 so I really cant say much more on that subject. But when you say "I pray and pray for the Lord to help me and He helps me through the struggle, but the pain never ends. I ask Him to just take me home" I would think that is and would be the simplest solution to all that you are suffering through. Every crisis we go through is a test, a test for us from our Father. He knows you inside and out. He knows what He must put you through to bring whatever that is inside of you sleeping, outside of you and awake. Whatever it may be, God knows what he has to put you through to get it out. Whether its stronger faith etc..... Look around you, the birthpains of Christs millenial kingdom are getting shorter in between. Every single day, more disasters are occuring at an alarming rate. The earth is starting to wobble like a drunkard( as it says in the bible referring to last days), yet this government refrains the news channels from dispersing this type of information. So people think everything is as normal as it was 100 years ago. ANYWAY, Im 100% sure that Jesus finds the love that you have for your husband REMARKABLE. And that you will be worthy to escape all the horrid things that shall come to pass. I can feel it, Jesus is coming for the Bride of Christ so very soon....the LORD has even gaven me a dream about it.

Lisa, the struggles the God has put you through was a test. Simply a test of faith. By what I have read you have succeeded. You have not cursed God, you have not rebelled against him. You have kept in mind that He is your saviour and has paid a hefty price for your soul. You have prayed to Him for His aid through your struggles. He has indeed brought out the true Christian in you. You are more than likely tired and weary. Like I was saying about. Soon my sister....in a single blink of an eye. We shall be eating dinner with Jesus, our Master. And he will congratulate you heavily with his almighty Love and reward you. Jesus said...The more you struggle in this lifetime the more you shall be rewarded in the next. I would like you to keep that in mind Lisa... we are almost out of here. Keep that in mind the most....we are almost out of here. Literally.....IM SERIOUS, WE ARE ALMOST OUT OF HERE. Rest in that fact. We are almost out of this pit. Feel free to PM I would love to talk to you...

 

[Lisa R]

Jordan, I wanted to thank you so much for your compassion and your encouraging words. What is remarkable is that a 17 yr. old of today has such wisdom and sincerity and would take the time to help a needy "Samaritan" when so many others just turn their heads and walk by. May the Lord richly bless you and put a shield around you to protect you from the fiery darts that so many of us have fallen victim to.

At this stage in my life, I feel I am to be a cautionary tale. I want the time
God has given me here to be worth something and want to be a blessing to others and not a curse. If nothing else, I want others to learn from my mistakes because the devil can be very very subtle and likes to hit in the areas where we are weakest. He used what was most important in my life ....my love for my husband. We have to remember to always keep our focus on God, no matter what, and trust Him to care for our loved ones. My husband and I have been together since high school ...we were both saved, and active in the church ...sin can creep into anyone's life, if they lose their focus. Please don't let this happen to you.

 

[1watchman]

I know that the Lord is with me ...I'm just surrounded by darkness and can't seem to find my way to Him. 10 years ago, everything was good ...my dear husband and I were working, active in the church, able to help our families and people in the community. Today, he's gone ...left to pursue a relationship with a man ...I've lost everything, had to move to a new area and live with my parents again. I'm a 41 yr old child.

The people here are very different. I have no real friends ...everyone abandoned me when my husband left. I have no privacy and no control over my life. I have no more companionship ...my husband and I text and talk on the phone, but he's still gone. He was my whole life. I know God should have been in that spot, and now my life has been torn to shreds.

I pray and pray for the Lord to help me and He helps me through the struggle, but the pain never ends. I ask Him to just take me home, but He seems to still want me here for some reason. Meanwhile, I'm bitterly lonely with no real hope for companionship in sight because I cannot betray my husband. He's sick and I cannot leave him ...even if he no longer really wants me. I muddle through the best I can, but it's very difficult when I have no one to talk to and share things with ...there's no one else who's the same as me and can understand.

If your husband has found a new way of life with a man friend, then you might need to look at him the same as you would if he died. He has found someone else to care for him. It seems to me that you need to let go, and begin to think of your future. Of course it is hard, but life can be hard for all who suffer death and tragedies. Continuing to look back is expected for awhile, but then one needs to look forward.

Your relationship with the Lord seems to be the greatest need. Are you saved, or were you just a church-goer? I do not know about your faith. All souls need to have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus for salvation and blessings. Church friends may help, but God tells us to go into our "closet" (Matt. 6:6). You might find it helpful to read that whole chapter. Your walk and conversation with the Savior will give you the best friend you could ever know. This is now your greatest need, and it speaks of your future. Look up always!

- 1 Watchman

 

[JordanDaniel]

Jordan, I wanted to thank you so much for your compassion and your encouraging words. What is remarkable is that a 17 yr. old of today has such wisdom and sincerity and would take the time to help a needy "Samaritan" when so many others just turn their heads and walk by. May the Lord richly bless you and put a shield around you to protect you from the fiery darts that so many of us have fallen victim to.

At this stage in my life, I feel I am to be a cautionary tale. I want the time
God has given me here to be worth something and want to be a blessing to others and not a curse. If nothing else, I want others to learn from my mistakes because the devil can be very very subtle and likes to hit in the areas where we are weakest. He used what was most important in my life ....my love for my husband. We have to remember to always keep our focus on God, no matter what, and trust Him to care for our loved ones. My husband and I have been together since high school ...we were both saved, and active in the church ...sin can creep into anyone's life, if they lose their focus. Please don't let this happen to you.

Ever since I was born my mother taught me about Jesus....She built my faith stronger every day. I was such a mommas boy... At the age of 12 I was out of town visiting my dad, and she died overnight...Her death affected me deeply...Jesus has put me through many trials, and like you I am so tired and burnt out..and Im ready to leave this earth in the Rapture.Jesus once said "Only those who are ready to go shall be taken in the Rapture".

Although those trials that our Father has put me through has made me all the stronger and wiser. And I intend to use it to help my fellow brothers and sisters. The LORD is in control of everything and like you said we must keep our eyes on Him. If we let this world lead our focus astray, that is a perfect opprotunity for Satan. That is what the Prince of the power of the air keeps his eye on. For us Christians to be overwhelmed by this cursed world. We must read Gods word everyday, it is our sword against the evil one and all of his techniques.

I love you Lisa, I promise you will make it through.Think of it this way.... We are the lucky ones, we don't have to have to experience death. One day soon...literally out of nowhere a door in heaven shall open above the earth.. Jesus shall say "COME UP HERE". Only we, the bride of Christ will hear him though, and the Holy Spirit shall be withdrawn from the earth. What a glorious day it shall be.

 

[Johnnz]

It's a very hard time for you. It's one of those 'valley as dark as death' periods, but as the Psalmist said, even there God walks with you.

Life is not over. It's pretty shattering for you right now, but Jesus is masterly at rebuilding broken people.

John
NZ

 

[tripletiger1200]

I can't give you any advice but I can say that I do admire your faith and I am praying for you

 

[Scott1979]

Lisa I am not going to say I know how you feel but I have seen the same situation with my parents and I have seen the hurt it caused. After nearly 30 years of marriage my "father" told my mom he was gay. For the longest time my mom beat herself up wondering what she did wrong. She has come to terms with it quite well and realized she has done nothing wrong. Nobody is perfect in a relationship but she did love him and tried to be a good wife. Your husband is the one at fault here not you. You need to move on and leave him behind. The fact that you still talk and text might be giving you false hope of a reconciliation one day that will not happen. He should know and understand the hurt he has caused and leave you alone. I wish you the absoloute best with this struggle and may God bless you sincerely.

 

[mr73140]

To JordanDaniel...you say that you are 17 years old? Out of the mouth of babes. What wisdon at such a young age. Your reply to Lisa R was indeed wise counsel. I pray that the Lord will continue to use you to bless his children. Amen and so be it.