Feeling Inadequate.

[katesmom]

Can I tell you a little about my problem? Even though I dont know any of you, I feel that I can talk to you about this.

Since I returned to work from maternity leave in July 04 Ive been feeling pretty inadequate in about every area of my life.

I fought & fought with my husband to let me be a stay at home mom, but we just couldnt crunch the numbers enough. Boy was I upset when I had to accept the fact that I had to work. Im doing much better & love the people I work with. My daughter even likes daycare. She has adjusted well.

Ive been searching in all the wrong places for answers & am left feeling worse. Ive started several projects & never finish them. They make me temporarily happy & then I lose interest.

Let me add that I love being a mom & a wife. I just cant seem to pinpoint this. Im realizing that all of the outward things arent going to make me happy until I figure out what is going on with me.

 

[krstlros]

Hi Katesmom:

Congradulations with being blessed with a wonderful daughter.

Have you spoken with your doctor about this? It sounds like you might be going through postpardom depression. I've read that it's not an uncommon occurance after having children.

Please see your doctor about your symptoms because they may be able to do a full diagnosis and be able to help you better.

Praying you are doing better very soon.

 

[Epiphanygirl]

Might I suggest that you go to The Blessed Mother Mary with this? Ask her to intercede on your behalf, calm your heart and still your fears that you are having. As she is the most understanding of Mothers and the best example we have of Motherhood.

Here is a Prayer:

Prayer To The Immaculate Heart Of Mary​

​

​

O most blessed Mother, heart of love, heart of mercy,​

ever listening, caring, consoling, hear our prayer.​

As your children, we implore your intercession with​

Jesus, your Son.​

Receive with understanding and compassion the​

petitions we place before you today, especially​

(special intention)​

we are comforted in knowing your heart is ever open​

to those who ask for your prayer.​

We trust to your gentle care and intercession, those whom​

we love and who are sick or lonely or hurting.​

Help all of us, Holy Mother to bear the burdens in this​

life until we may share eternal life and peace with​

God forever.​

Amen​

 

[Carrye]

Since I returned to work from maternity leave in July 04 Ive been feeling pretty inadequate in about every area of my life.

It was this word in both this sentence and the thread title that struck me. Can you say more about this? How/in what ways do you see yourself as being inadequate? Inadequate for what?

s and s to you.

 

[Cat59]

for you katesmom

What do you feel inadequate about? It sounds as though you're dealing with having to return to wotrk when you don't want to really well and your daughter sounds happy and content. Adjusting after a new baby is really hard and lots of things you never thought of before pop into your head and as krstlros says, sometimes you can get low. Perhaps you should chat with your husband about it?
I'll certainly pray for you that you find the answers you are seeking

 

[katesmom]

Thank you everyone! I have read all of your posts & will pray for clarity on this subject. I may have some mild postpartum depression. I still enjoy getting out & about - thank god for that. I guess Im not recognizing it as such because I really have a zest for life & being the best mom!

I constantly seek advice and confirmation from other people & mistrust my own wisdom (the reason for this post - I guess). I change direction often because I lack confidence. So I guess this is where the "feeling inadequate" comes to play.

Thanks everyone! Your the best

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

My heart goes out to you!!

I think our society sets women up for this-- you are not the same person you were before the birth of your daughter. Our society thinks magically eight weeks after the birth of a baby we go back to "normal" except with a baby seat in the back of the car.

I went back to work for a year after my oldest was born- and then I just couldn't take it anymore- I NEEDED to be with him. So I got a paper route and babysat a couple of days a week.

Now I am at home and we are really, really broke. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. If you still feel as though you'd like to stay at home, perhaps you could slowly skim back spending and add to your saavings to show your husband, that it might be doable. There are lots of resources out there that indicate that there is actually a cost to working (transportation, wardrobe, dry cleaning, taxes, daycare, etc.)- and often one's income exceeds those costs very minimally- say a few thousand dollars.

Can I heartily recommen checking out Flylady.net?? When my home began to better reflect peace and joy- it became much easier to feel at peace with whatever faced me. Flylady also helped gain the skills necessary to my vocation as a wife and mother and homemaker. This is not just for stay at home moms- but for all women. There are lots of things I never tthought of before getting turned on to Flylady that sopped up our money and peace of mind. Anyway - this really helped me feel less inadequate at meeting everyone's needs in my family (including my own!)

 

[colleen]

I will pray that God provides your family with the means to be a stay at home mom. My mother stayed at home (and like Shannon we were broke), and it was the greatist gift to our family. She got part-time jobs a few times, but every time we ended up agreeing that we were better off without the money and with her at home. I would repeat the advice that you bring your troubles to the feet of Our Lady. I would also recommend her mother St. Ann.