Feeling Hurt . . .

[ForeverHis777]

Today my husband and I were talking about my treatment. After telling me that the pills weren't working and that I needed more therapy . . . I realized that he was in the company of co-workers.

I felt very hurt. Admiting to him that I had a problem was hard enough. Now all the guys in the warehouse know that I'm looney.

I don't know how to handle this and I'm trying to resist giving him an ear-full but I just can't understand how he could be so inconsiderate. If it were him I would keep it very private because I know it would embarass him.

So know basically I'll be known around work as the crazy wife. And what's worse is one of the guys he works with is my brother in law so by tomorrow the whole in-laws will know.

 

[sunmicroman]

Sorry to hear this happened. It is sad that so many do not understand about these types of problems we have (OCD, depression, anxiety, etc.).

One thing you can know, is your aren't "looney". You have a few ailments that you need help with, just as if you had something physical wrong you needed help with like a broken arm or an internal organ. In fact, the brain is an internal organ.

Anyway, there is a certain stigma that is attached to any "mental illness". Thing is, many have a "mental illness" and do not even recognize they do. Many drown themselves in alcohol or drugs or anything else because they have an issue that they aren't dealing with or completely aware of. It could be depression, anxiety, or any other "mental illness". Chances might be great a few of the "guys" that work with your husband may even be some of those people.

I have prayed for you and do know that many will be understanding about what you are going through. Those who know you well should know that you are just experiencing a bump in life that you need a little help with but in time and treatment will get better.

If nothing else, we understand here and know you aren't "crazy" or "looney" and that we actually admire you for taking the steps to correct the problem instead of just not acknowledging it or self medicating some other way.

 

[seajoy]

In this day and age, people aren't known as crazy. If you were talking about this while your husband was at work - the chances are very high that someone would hear.

You aren't crazy, you have an illness - just like the rest of us here. I doubt if your husband meant you any harm.

 

[ForeverHis777]

Thanks Sun, I really needed to hear all of that but especially the last part. That made me cry. This has been very embarassing for me and I appreciate the support.

And thanks, Sea Joy. I appreciate the encouragement so much! It helps to know I'm not alone.

My husbandthinks that I should be able to "think what I want to think". But he doesn't understand that this is the whole problem of OCD. I cannot think what I want to think. So just trying to get help was very hard and trying to make him understand that five days of medicine isn't going to cure a life long disease is like pulling teeth. I am still slipping up with my OCD and questioning him about things (This is the form I have.) I know those of you with OCD understand that sometimes it is like an itch that has to be scratched. No matter how hard I fight it sometimes I just literally can't control it.

I know he is anxious for this to pass but so am I. The only problem is I can't make it go any faster than it does.

 

[sunmicroman]

I am glad I could help and that God can use me to help others.

Yes, I totally understand the "itch" correlation that you made. It does feel like sooo much relief after we scratch it and then get some reassurance for a while. Just wish it lasted!! But that is the battle we have.

I am also glad to hear that you understand that it won't just be fixed in a few days. Broken arms take time to heal and so does any other type of ailment. For some reason people tend to be more patient with a physical ailment and the healing process over mental, but maybe it's just because they can see it and they also don't blame the victim. With something mental, they can't see it and since they don't understand they feel you can just "think" it away. In a way, they are correct, but it takes time and tools such as therapy to correct the way of thinking that causes us to stay in that rut.

My therapist says our minds have a gear shifter in them. Other people can shift gears as they go about their lives. Mine gets stuck. And that is where I can't stop the thoughts about a certain subject (such as you do with your husband concerning his fidelity). So she is going to equip me with the tools so I can learn how to shift that gear for myself. This will take time and help with meds (or herbs if you go that route).

Anyway, there is a book called "Brain Lock" that you may want to pick up that is great on the subject of OCD. Books aren't that expensive so that might be something you can do in the meantime while you wait to find a therapist.

For the depression part there is a wonderful book called "Conquering Depression: A 30 Day Plan to finding Happiness". It is absolutely the best book on Depression coming from a Christian perspective I have ever read. One of the authors is actually a doctor who struggled with depression so he totally understands both the symptoms and the medical part of it.

Both of these books are available on Amazon so you can find them there if you want. I hope this helps.

 

[ForeverHis777]

Again, this is so very helpful. That is exactly how I feel like I am "stuck" here. It's not that I don't want to move it's just that I mentally cannot.

It's very cool how God can use our struggles to lift up others. So I'm sure that God is using your own troubles for His glory in the most loving way.

And thanks again for the encouragement and also for the book names. I will pick up those titles. With all the self help books I"m buying I"m keeping the bookstores in business!

I found a licensed counsler in my area that isn't too expensive however I'm not really sure if they are equipped to handle true mental illness. I know that I will need a doctor that can provide therapy and medicine. Does anyone know if licensed counslers can do this? I'm not really sure what I'm looking for in the phone book. All the PHD lettering and jumbo is confusing.

Thanks everyone!

 

[sunmicroman]

As far as I know, licensed counselors cannot prescribe meds. I know mine can't. But what she does is with the permission of her client she will work with the doc in order to get the proper meds prescribed. That's how my counselor is handling it.