Feeling hopeless again

[jinjinweiwei]

Sorry this is long...
I had the feeling in my gut at the beginning of this year that I shouldn't be in nursing school, but I am there because my mom wanted me to be there. And also, becoming a nurse would let me change my visa from student to a working visa, so we can stay here.

However, having a student visa means I have to take extra classes on top of the required classes for nursing school. so I am taking total of 5 classes, but I really need all the time I have to deal with the 3 nursing classes and school doesn't give enough credit hours for them.

Besides school, a good friend of my mother is helping me to pay for school, but I need to help with their business a little bit. They treated me well, like their second son, and I really enjoyed helping them too, and Thanking God for good friends like them when we are in need. The reason we need money is because when my dad left 5 years ago, he took most of our savings. leaving us with 10,000 in the bank, and all 10,000 went in school tuition. But Thank God again mom and I can cover our expenses but just barely from one month to the next.

I am trying really hard in nursing school, spending all the time I have left studying. My schedule is really messed up. I have class on mondays from 8 to 2pm and go to clinical on tuesdays from 6:30-12:30(that is am to noon) then I go help my mom's friend till about 5pm on tuesdays, thursdays and fridays. After that I have another class from 6pm to 8:30-9pm on tuesdays and thursdays. So I don't have enough time to study and do school work. And there is all kinds of problem going on in the school. Teachers are so demanding, and some are just impossible to deal with. I haven't got much good grades and I am failing, I don't want to fail my classes, because I know I can do much better than that, because I have done that in the past. I was on Dean's list, but now I am failing. And I have another Test again today, didn't have much time to study, I am scared I am going to fail that test. and tomorrow is clinicals I need to finish 18 page long care plan tonight. I am burned out, feeling hopeless, lonely. I don't know what to do anymore... I pray to God everyday, and Thanking Him for everyday, that He might still have little use in me.

I don't know what do to anymore.... =( I am confused, and hopeless.... but thank you for reading this... God Bless.

 

[Criada]

I'm sorry, it does sound as though you are trying to do more than you can cope with.
Is there a counsellor at school you could discuss it with?

Praying for you.

 

[jinjinweiwei]

I'm sorry, it does sound as though you are trying to do more than you can cope with.
Is there a counsellor at school you could discuss it with?

Praying for you.

Thank ya Criada. i talked to the counselor, she helped by listening to my rant, but she really counldn't help much, she tried and i thanked her to listen to me. and I had to deal with the strict and impatient clinical teacher again last thursday and friday. but talking to her makes me feel completely worthless of myself, because she thinks we supposed to know everything, but i thought if we knew everything we won't be in school anymore!!! and she just kept give me a hard time. trying to tell me that i told her something twice and saying "don't think i am stupid, you don't need to tell me the same thing twice!!" and later on i asked a classmate who was with me, she confirmed that i only told her once. but you see, my teacher went all out on me again... i regret that i told her my personal problems, because now she just use them to attack me. and the worst of all, she says she believes in God. and tell us how much books she donated to the library, I just feel there is no way she believes in God, if she does, she won't act this way. if she does she would help me and have patience with me and answer my questions like we always do in school. I just don't even want to see her again, she makes me feels horrible about myself, and one night i was so depressed that i just wanted to end myself, but i think God reminded me I have a wonderful mother, who works hard for this family, and really really blessed by our friends. and God placed a beautiful girl in my life now that I am trying to pursue (I don't have the time to pursue, but still, she is a very sweet person to be with). I pray that God will point a way for me, like maybe i am not supposed be in nursing...sigh....

 

[Criada]

I'm sorry things are so hard.
Praying for God's clear Guidance for you, and for peace
Try to ignore the mean teacher... you know that you're doing your best, and so does God... the rest doesn't matter. I know it's hard when someone is trying to make you feel small, but try to remember what God says about you... you are his child, a unique and perfect creation, and He is with you
Hang in there, brother.

 

[Johnnz]

Her behaviour towards you is unacceptable both as a Christian and as a professional. Can you take up her attitude towards you at a higher level?

John
NZ

 

[savedbygracebre]

I will tell you from experience that nursing school can be very time consuming and can literally break you! My wife first got her lvn(took a year of classes, while raising three kids(me too-her husband), running our business, and helping with my kids schoolwork and sports. She would go to class from 8:00am to 4:00pm then get home and study until 1 or 2:00 in the morning-then wake up at 5 or 6 in the morning to study more. Almost every day! She did all of this while being a full-time mom and helping with our business! I am very proud of her. And yes, I helped ad much as I felt I could but the school part was hers to handle. She graduated, took a year off, then went back to school and just recently recieved her RN. So yes, it is very hard to feel like things can become toomuch to handle-but you can do it because God is good and He will be there to see you through. On a quick note my wife is not really a believer, but with the power of prayer I could sense God helping her thru her journey. If you are a believer then you already have access to God-that alone should provide you the strength you need. It is a daunting task, but try to finish before you have kids and responsibilities-that was my wife's biggest regret!

 

[jinjinweiwei]

I'm sorry things are so hard.
Praying for God's clear Guidance for you, and for peace
Try to ignore the mean teacher... you know that you're doing your best, and so does God... the rest doesn't matter. I know it's hard when someone is trying to make you feel small, but try to remember what God says about you... you are his child, a unique and perfect creation, and He is with you
Hang in there, brother.

Thank you for your prayers Criada. I still can't believe it is the end of the semester. I am glad it is almost over, but I think i need to repeat the classes I took this semester again, because I didn't make enough good grades to pass. =( I made a few good ones, but they are just not enough. I pray that my situation will get much better this fall, and I need to try much harder, so I can do much better in school.
Thanks again!!!
God Bless you!!!!

 

[jinjinweiwei]

I will tell you from experience that nursing school can be very time consuming and can literally break you! My wife first got her lvn(took a year of classes, while raising three kids(me too-her husband), running our business, and helping with my kids schoolwork and sports. She would go to class from 8:00am to 4:00pm then get home and study until 1 or 2:00 in the morning-then wake up at 5 or 6 in the morning to study more. Almost every day! She did all of this while being a full-time mom and helping with our business! I am very proud of her. And yes, I helped ad much as I felt I could but the school part was hers to handle. She graduated, took a year off, then went back to school and just recently recieved her RN. So yes, it is very hard to feel like things can become toomuch to handle-but you can do it because God is good and He will be there to see you through. On a quick note my wife is not really a believer, but with the power of prayer I could sense God helping her thru her journey. If you are a believer then you already have access to God-that alone should provide you the strength you need. It is a daunting task, but try to finish before you have kids and responsibilities-that was my wife's biggest regret!

Thanks for sharing your wife's experience with me. It helped me. but my biggest problem is I didn't have enough time to spend on studying this semester... it is the decision of studying at home, or not be able to make it through next month... and my clinical teacher really didn't help my situation, because sometimes I come home in tears...