- Feb 5, 2002
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Normally, when someone claims that one thing will make a “game-changing” difference in a community, I am skeptical. “Yes, that is a factor, but what about …?” is generally how I respond to that kind of claim. But today, I am going to make one of these claims myself. There is one thing that people could do, in any community in which they find themselves, that will change everything. Here it is:
Stop thinking that you are excluded from it.
Every day — and I do not think this is an exaggeration — there are Catholics on social media claiming that because of X or Y they are excluded from their parish, some other Catholic community (such as a Catholic school) or the Catholic Church writ large. “Because my kids go to public school,” “Because I homeschool,” “Because I have toddlers,” “Because I am divorced,” “Because I am single,” “Because I am gay,” “Because … because… because.”
I hate to break it to you all, but Christian community is hard work. There is maybe one person out of a thousand who feels completely comfortable, accepted and loved in their community all the time. Why? Because that community is made up of human beings who are a bit of a mess, at their best. It is made up of people like me and you. Can you honestly say that you are always friendly, welcoming, happy to see everyone at your parish on Sunday? That you smile and say hello to everyone in the pews around you? That you remember people’s names and their kids’ names and that their great-aunt was having surgery last week? I don’t think so.
A lot of you feel like you can barely make it to the parish for Mass. You barely make it out the door with shoes on all the kids. But at the same time, you expect everyone else to be better than you. To do the relational work that you feel yourself incapable of doing. To initiate conversation, reach out, offer empathy. To support you when you are sick and make meals for you when a new baby arrives. To be Christ for you. I’m here to say: You’ve gotta meet people halfway.
Continued below.
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Stop thinking that you are excluded from it.
Every day — and I do not think this is an exaggeration — there are Catholics on social media claiming that because of X or Y they are excluded from their parish, some other Catholic community (such as a Catholic school) or the Catholic Church writ large. “Because my kids go to public school,” “Because I homeschool,” “Because I have toddlers,” “Because I am divorced,” “Because I am single,” “Because I am gay,” “Because … because… because.”
A two-way street
I’m sorry to get salty here, but just stop it. It seems to me that everyone saying these things is using whatever it is as an excuse to get out of the hard work that is Christian community, and they are fundamentally misunderstanding the realities of parish life.I hate to break it to you all, but Christian community is hard work. There is maybe one person out of a thousand who feels completely comfortable, accepted and loved in their community all the time. Why? Because that community is made up of human beings who are a bit of a mess, at their best. It is made up of people like me and you. Can you honestly say that you are always friendly, welcoming, happy to see everyone at your parish on Sunday? That you smile and say hello to everyone in the pews around you? That you remember people’s names and their kids’ names and that their great-aunt was having surgery last week? I don’t think so.
A lot of you feel like you can barely make it to the parish for Mass. You barely make it out the door with shoes on all the kids. But at the same time, you expect everyone else to be better than you. To do the relational work that you feel yourself incapable of doing. To initiate conversation, reach out, offer empathy. To support you when you are sick and make meals for you when a new baby arrives. To be Christ for you. I’m here to say: You’ve gotta meet people halfway.
All are welcome
Continued below.
Feeling excluded at your parish? Join the crowd
Do you feel like you just don’t fit in at your parish? Writer Sara Perla hears you and has some advice. “Every day — and I do not think this is an exaggeration — there are Catholics on social media claiming that because of X or Y they are excluded from their parish, some other Catholic community...
www.oursundayvisitor.com
