Is it ever normal as a Christian to feel like you literally have no emotions? I just don't know how to approach God like this. It's really like I have no emotion. I feel completely empty. I feel like I haven't had any compassion, or love, or joy or even intense pain. Maybe the closest thing was fear. It's like...when I hear about something on the news, I don't feel anything...when you hear reports of something horrible happening to people. A girl getting raped. People in Haiti. A certain song. Seeing even someone I know going through something. But it's like I can't feel anything, no compassion no anger. The last time I can recall feeling absolute joy was when God touched me when I got prayer at church. For the first time in a long time, for a while, at that time God took all my sorrow away and I was actually at peace and happy.
But for so long I feel like I can't feel anything. Yes, I know we shouldn't let our emotions rule over us, and be tossed and turned like waves...but what if you can't even feel something? Feeling are sort of like fuel in a way, or triggers.
And it's just frustrating. Tonight my Dad got really angry and he yelled and he screamed and he cursed at me and I knew, I could see how he felt, but even then there was no spark. I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't feel. My mind could only recognize it needed to change it's ways but on the inside there was nothing.
And then it makes you start hating yourse lf. "How can I ever be of God, if I can't even have emotions? I hate myself! I am worthless! I'll never change or be able to change and this situation will never get better!".
But for so long I feel like I can't feel anything. Yes, I know we shouldn't let our emotions rule over us, and be tossed and turned like waves...but what if you can't even feel something? Feeling are sort of like fuel in a way, or triggers.
And it's just frustrating. Tonight my Dad got really angry and he yelled and he screamed and he cursed at me and I knew, I could see how he felt, but even then there was no spark. I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't feel. My mind could only recognize it needed to change it's ways but on the inside there was nothing.
And then it makes you start hating yourse lf. "How can I ever be of God, if I can't even have emotions? I hate myself! I am worthless! I'll never change or be able to change and this situation will never get better!".