Feeling Down

[Ruth~]

I've lost interest in doing the things I usually do. I can't focus well. Every once in awhile tears will come as I realize more and more my dad is never coming back. Either is my mother. I have lost both of them. They both defended me in my life but not always. Dad was the latest to die one month ago. Mom died of Cancer going on 3 years ago. What I like to do a lot is sleep now. I don't enjoy much on tv either. I have a doctor I see but I don't even think he likes me. Some of the things he says to me makes me wonder. I have a social worker I see and she is very nice but there is a lot of seconds, minutes, hours, and days between visits. Can those of you who have dealt with this kind of depression let me know how it went for you and what helped you. Thanks.

 

[SunMessenger]

I've lost interest in doing the things I usually do. I can't focus well. Every once in awhile tears will come as I realize more and more my dad is never coming back. Either is my mother. I have lost both of them. They both defended me in my life but not always. Dad was the latest to die one month ago. Mom died of Cancer going on 3 years ago. What I like to do a lot is sleep now. I don't enjoy much on tv either. I have a doctor I see but I don't even think he likes me. Some of the things he says to me makes me wonder. I have a social worker I see and she is very nice but there is a lot of seconds, minutes, hours, and days between visits. Can those of you who have dealt with this kind of depression let me know how it went for you and what helped you. Thanks.

I Feel For You And I Know How Different Life Is After Losing Someone Dear. I Do Not Encourage You In This Negative Way Of Thinking However. I Will Pray For You Also. Get In There Kid Life Is Far From Over. There Are Plenty Of Things To Do. The Prayers Section Of This Forum Could Always Use Another Prayer Warrior. Wake It Up. The Holy Spirit Is Always With You. All You Need Do Is Ask And He Will Enter And Revive Your Spirit. I Promise. Be Well And God Bless...

 

[hungrytiger]

I've lost interest in doing the things I usually do. I can't focus well. Every once in awhile tears will come as I realize more and more my dad is never coming back. Either is my mother. I have lost both of them. They both defended me in my life but not always. Dad was the latest to die one month ago. Mom died of Cancer going on 3 years ago. What I like to do a lot is sleep now. I don't enjoy much on tv either. I have a doctor I see but I don't even think he likes me. Some of the things he says to me makes me wonder. I have a social worker I see and she is very nice but there is a lot of seconds, minutes, hours, and days between visits. Can those of you who have dealt with this kind of depression let me know how it went for you and what helped you. Thanks.

Hi.

I'm sorry about your loss of your parents.
May God have mercy on them and also comfort you.

I oftentimes feel like I don't want to do anything except maybe sleep. It seems so awful to me. It can get to be a kind of cycle or something with me. I feel bad cause I'm not doing something and then I don't want to do something cause I feel bad. And then sleep is almost like my escape. I just want to hide in sleep on not have to face real life. But that doesn't help, because while I'm sleeping I don't get anything done.

But there are some things that seem to help me:
-- Getting in and doing stuff anyway. even though I don't want to do it. This can help get my mind on other things, help change my mood, and give me something to feel good about.
-- Talk to someone who will listen to me, encourage me, and love me even though I seem so messed up at the time.
-- Remember that God loves me, hasn't given up hope in me, and still has things for me to do.

I hope things get better for you.

 

[Ruth~]

Thank you for the condolences Hungrytiger. I am doing as much as I can do right now. I didn't mean to imply I was sleeping 24/7, just more and I think it's natural when you lose a loved one you have known for 48 years. YOUR reply was very helpful for me. I am going through the stages of grief and it's natural to feel depressed so I can have some understanding for myself, too, now. I also suffer from major depression and am dealing with it all as best I can right now. I have been doing work at my dad's house every day since the funeral.

 

[hungrytiger]

Thank you for the condolences Hungrytiger. I am doing as much as I can do right now. I didn't mean to imply I was sleeping 24/7, just more and I think it's natural when you lose a loved one you have known for 48 years. YOUR reply was very helpful for me. I am going through the stages of grief and it's natural to feel depressed so I can have some understanding for myself, too, now. I also suffer from major depression and am dealing with it all as best I can right now. I have been doing work at my dad's house every day since the funeral.

I'm glad it was helpful. It's good that you're keeping yourself busy. It's probably also good that you are going through those stages of grief now. (My grandfather died a few weeks ago. I haven't known how to feel about it. Kind'a makes me wonder if something's wrong with me. So I just pray.) Anyway, I'll try to be here if you want to talk more or something. You'd be welcome to PM me too. Take care. Things are going to be okay.

 

[Ruth~]

Thank you. Sorry to hear about your grandfather. Sometimes we are in shock at first and can't feel much. The shock is wearing off with me now. Had a cry this evening. It's good to cry and let it out. Helps balance the system, I guess. This stuff is hard.

 

[hungrytiger]

Thank you. Sorry to hear about your grandfather. Sometimes we are in shock at first and can't feel much. The shock is wearing off with me now. Had a cry this evening. It's good to cry and let it out. Helps balance the system, I guess. This stuff is hard.

Things will be okay. Life is just hard sometimes, I guess. I hope your cry has helped you to heal. May God contiue to comfort you.

 

[Ruth~]

Thanks, Hungrytiger. Today was better than yesterday. Going to my dad's house brings back so many memories. I tend to try to block the grief out but since I've been going there working it's not letting me block it out. I guess that's good in a way. Yes, life doesn't really give us any breaks when it comes to losing people. We all go through it but it's hard on a person. I hope you are doing okay.

 

[hungrytiger]

I'm glad to hear today is going better. You can make it through this. May I ask how things are going with your doctor and your social worker?

It's sweet of you to think of me. I am doing okay.

 

[icanbeyourfriend]

Hi Ruth57,
I'm new here and pretty new to depression (suffered for years but didn't face up to it), but I hope I can still be helpful. I am so sorry about your parents. Focus on the good times and good memories--things that will bring a smile to your face (and, yes, sometimes tears to your eyes). I agree that your feelings are a natural part of grief. If you don't start to feel better, please consider getting help. What you said about your doctor concerns me. Is he condescending? Indifferent? You said that you feel like he doesn't like you. That could be a symptom of the depression you're experiencing (believe me, I thought the world hated me!), or it could be that his bedside manner needs work. I will pray for you. God bless.

 

[Ruth~]

HT, I'll be seeing my doc and sw soon. They both wanted to see me more often since I lost my dad. I'm hanging in there, hope you are, too.

ICBYF, thanks for your feedback. Actually, not sure if the doc likes me or not. He sometimes asks me questions that make me wonder what he thinks of me. I may ask him about it.

Today I went to my dad's and painted some more. A little kid walked past the house and asked where the old gentleman was who used to be out watering the grass. I told him he died. He said he was sorry. I didn't feel too good after that. I miss my dad a lot. Nothing will bring him back. I guess he is with my mom and sister in heaven.

 

[RaddMadd]

HT, I'll be seeing my doc and sw soon. They both wanted to see me more often since I lost my dad. I'm hanging in there, hope you are, too.

ICBYF, thanks for your feedback. Actually, not sure if the doc likes me or not. He sometimes asks me questions that make me wonder what he thinks of me. I may ask him about it.

Today I went to my dad's and painted some more. A little kid walked past the house and asked where the old gentleman was who used to be out watering the grass. I told him he died. He said he was sorry. I didn't feel too good after that. I miss my dad a lot. Nothing will bring him back. I guess he is with my mom and sister in heaven.

hey! if there in Heaven what are you grieving about? i wish i was There with them! its gonna be so awesome i can't wait! be happy because they left this crappy place and are in a far far ( infinity more fars ) Better Place!

God Bless!!

 

[PrairieGurl]

Dearest Ruth ,

My heart goes out to you on the passing of your mom and dad.

Regarding the "no intrest in anything and your sleeping"...I believe this IS a part of grieving and also a part of healing. Don't be too hard on yourself as sometimes we need this time to rejuvinate our bodies and minds. Crying is a GREAT release and part of the healing process also

DO remember your Heavenly Father "defends for you" ALWAYS He IS the Father to the fatherless and He will NEVER leave you!

With Love & s

 

[hungrytiger]

HT, I'll be seeing my doc and sw soon. They both wanted to see me more often since I lost my dad. I'm hanging in there, hope you are, too.

ICBYF, thanks for your feedback. Actually, not sure if the doc likes me or not. He sometimes asks me questions that make me wonder what he thinks of me. I may ask him about it.

Today I went to my dad's and painted some more. A little kid walked past the house and asked where the old gentleman was who used to be out watering the grass. I told him he died. He said he was sorry. I didn't feel too good after that. I miss my dad a lot. Nothing will bring him back. I guess he is with my mom and sister in heaven.

I'm glad you're hanging in there. I'm doing okay. Right now my worries about my husband and I trying to get new jobs are kind'a eclisping other feelings for me.

I think being upfront with your doctor about how you feel is probably a good idea. It could be some kind of misunderstanding or he might be doing things without realizing it or something. Or of course if there really is a problem, better to find out sooner than later, right?

It makes perfect sense to miss your dad. But in a way it's not much different than if he had moved to a far off country or something, but then it's not just like he moved off to any ole where, it's paradise. Because if he's in heaven he's alive in Christ. I really believe that. And even though he's not here with you like he was before, your dad and mom and sister all still love you and are probably all together praying for you and watching over you right now.

Those are the kind'a thoughts I try to comfort myself with about my gradfather. After reading what RaddMadd wrote I thought I'd go ahead and try to say it (Thanks, RaddMadd). I didn't earlier because I thought coming from someone else it might sound trite or preachy or something. I'm real sorry if it does. I know your pain is real. And while you probably already know it, I just wanted to try to stand by you and reaffirm that our hope is real too.

 

[Ruth~]

Raddmadd, I grieve because I have had a relationship with my father for 48 years and now it's over. I grieve because it hurts to lose your father who you have known all your life. I grieve because it's normal to grieve with the loss of a loved one. It is not normal not to grieve. It's a necessary thing to grieve, and I do not choose it, it chose me. Thanks for posting.

 

[Ruth~]

Hungrytiger, best wishes to you and your husband finding jobs. I hope you take time for yourself to grieve, it's the normal thing to do when we lose someone. Some grief is more intense than others, I'll admit.

 

[Ruth~]

Wanttobe, thank you so much for your kind and supportive words. They really helped a lot.