I'm truly sorry to know you're feeling heartbroken, friend, but...
i guess i hoped everything would be resolved and we would fall in love and understand each other. but i saw that i did the same thing i was doing before. i judge him for not being Christian. there is something about this situation i am just not getting. i think it has to do with me not letting him be himself.
Or maybe it might just be that he isn't in love with you and you're not meant to be together? I don't like to sound harsh, but there it is. You can't ever
make someone fall in love with you. And frankly, if I could feel that a potential marital partner was judging me for not being of the same religion, I most definitely would not be wanting to spend my life with that person.
I don't know anything about your and his background and I don't want to probe, but just wondering — is it to do with the fact that you've had a child by him, that you feel now you and he "should" fall in love and get married, to make up for having had sex, and a child, out of wedlock? If so, I'm afraid it doesn't work that way. If you and he are not in love, not on that level of mutual understanding and unconditional support for each other, then it doesn't sound at all like a relationship that's meant to be. And if that's so, it won't magically turn into one, either, even if you keep trying to pursue it.
Again, I'm sorry to sound cruel — I do know firsthand how painful it is when a hoped-for relationship just doesn't work out the way one wanted it to — but it does sound like you'd be better off talking this over in private with someone you know and trust deeply and who cares about you (and perhaps has experience in relationships counselling), rather than with unknown people on the internet. And most of all, turn to God — to your one true relationship with the One who loves you endlessly, who will never let you down and never leave you comfortless. He knows your need right now better than you do, or I, or anyone else. I know it's easy enough for someone else to say that, but it really is true. He has a right way forward for you in all this and you will find it.
I'll leave you with some words from Mother Julian of Norwich, one of my favourite Christian visionaries:
And so I saw that God rejoices that he is our father,
and God rejoices that he is our mother,
and God rejoices that he is our true husband and our soul his beloved wife.
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So was I taught that love was our Lord's meaning.
And I saw full surely that before ever God made us, he loved us.
And this love was never quenched, nor ever shall be.
