feeling called

[tesnusxenos]

I am happily married (22 years). The problem is I really feel called to speak out for the Lord and my husband both doesn't feel called to serve and doesn't think women should teach. It is not like we fight about it or anything, but there is a tension that has been happening in the last six months since I started to strongly feel this way. I know how he feels about women pastors and teachers and I know all the verses but still I feel I need to speak.

 

[WashedClean]

I am happily married (22 years). The problem is I really feel called to speak out for the Lord and my husband both doesn't feel called to serve and doesn't think women should teach. It is not like we fight about it or anything, but there is a tension that has been happening in the last six months since I started to strongly feel this way. I know how he feels about women pastors and teachers and I know all the verses but still I feel I need to speak.

Hello tesnusxenos,

That's a tough situation. Obviously, I would pray about it. But if you really feel it's the Holy Spirit, I would follow His leading. Can you do it in a less obvious way? How about teaching women? I know some people feel that women can teach women, but not men...

Sorry, I'm sure I wasn't very helpful.

God Bless,

Jill

 

[Whitestone]

Tesn, how do you want to speak for the Lord? I mean do you want to have a congregation, small group, missionary type ministry, or some other kind of ministry?

 

[tesnusxenos]

Probably some form of camp ministry. I have written a book about Christianity and horsemanship (almost finished). There are a lot of great analogys betwwen horsemanship and our walk with Jesus. I recently spoke to some college students (It was weel recieved) about living for Jesus regardless of your current activity having everything you do be a reflection of your life in Christ.

 

[Whitestone]

It sounds like your desire is pure, and that you are devoted to doing some kind of ministry for the Lord. Pray about it, and seek a way to fulfill your calling in a way that does not disregard scripture, or cause problems in your marriage.

Hope this helps in some fashion,

Whitestone

 

[bliz]

It sounds like several things are beginning to develop as ministry opportunities for you. Why not give all of this some time and see what other invitations or opportunities come your way? Pray that if God wants you to be more involved, that more opportunities will come your way. That may help make things clearer for you.

I don't know of any passage in scripture that says if you are called to serve your husband must also serve. God knows that you are married, but you are a seperate preson: you are not saved as a pair or gifted as a pair or called as a pair. God has his own relationship with both you and your husband.

Perhaps ministry opportunities will develop for you that your husband will not have a problem with. Or perhaps your husband's heart and mind will be changed.

But if push comes to shove, and If God is calling you to ministry and your husband does not think it is right for you to minister, who will you obey?

I hope the answer is a no brainer for you.

Get ahold of the book "Call Me Blessed" by Faith Martin. I think it will be very helpful for you.

 

[KleinerApfel]

I am happily married (22 years). The problem is I really feel called to speak out for the Lord and my husband both doesn't feel called to serve and doesn't think women should teach. It is not like we fight about it or anything, but there is a tension that has been happening in the last six months since I started to strongly feel this way. I know how he feels about women pastors and teachers and I know all the verses but still I feel I need to speak.

I agree that a husband and wife are separate people with differing ministries, but God also says you are "one flesh" and calls you both to submit to one another - ie. put each others needs before your own where necessary, in order to honour each other and God.

Your first priority is your own relationship with the Lord, but the second is your marriage, before any other ministry.

If there is conflict between you over this issue, maybe it is not the right time, or maybe you are not understanding each other clearly.

God will answer your prayers, either by revealing His will to your husband, or by directing you into a different but fruitful ministry that is pleasing both to Him and to the two of you.

There are no Biblical grounds for objection to you ministering to women, children or youth.
If your husband mistakenly believes there are, maybe your pastor could try gently pointing out his misunderstanding, and help him understand your calling?

If you want to minister to men, I think your husband may have cause for concern. There are certain difficulties and limitations there, but it's a grey area for many, and I am unsure about it myself.

I'd definitely talk to your pastor though, about the feeling you have regarding your calling, and about your husband's reaction.

You really shouldn't move forward in ministry without the blessing and support of both of these people, whose own calling includes your guidance and wellbeing.

God bless, Susana

 

[tesnusxenos]

IBut if push comes to shove, and If God is calling you to ministry and your husband does not think it is right for you to minister, who will you obey?

hope the answer is a no brainer for you.

A long way from a no brainer. I think about it all the time, ( so far the answer is to do nothing new, only pray more).
It is not so much my husband is against it as he does not support it. We live way out of town even doing the college ministry group envolves three hours of travel and 20$ in fule. I am used to doing everything together and though he often comes to the college group he doesnt enjoy it.

 

[KleinerApfel]

It is not so much my husband is against it as he does not support it. We live way out of town even doing the college ministry group envolves three hours of travel and 20$ in fule. I am used to doing everything together and though he often comes to the college group he doesnt enjoy it.

That's quite a commitment you have, in time and money. I don't see how you can do more at the moment if your husband is unwilling to support the work.

As a married Christian couple you are a team, and while it's good to have separate lives as well, it's important that your activities complement each other, bringing variety and stimulation to your marriage, rather than causing conflict.

Maybe it's best to continue pouring all your resources into this one thing and enjoy it fully, rather than spreading yourself thinly and stressing your marriage.

Things change, and the time may come when it's right for you to branch out and do more, but maybe the time is not yet?

God bless, Susana

 

[bliz]

Well, if the answer is "Do nothing new. Pray more." that is exactly what you should be doing!

It is easy for all of us to think we hear the call of God, especially when it's a call to do something we like to do! At the same time, God has given us gifts and talents that He expects us to use for the good of the Kingdom.

If you are praying for guidance and open to God's call, he will make himself clear to you. He is not a God of confusion and He has a long history of using a wide variety of methods to make His wishes clear to the people He is dealing with, and He will do that for you, as well.

I do think that the choice between God's call on a woman and a husband's wishes is a no-brainer. We must obey God rather than man. Our husbands will sin, just as we do. They will not obey God all the time, just as we don't. God is not fallible; our husbands are.

I believe that when there is a conflict between God's call and the people around us to whom we have made commitments there are two possibilities:

a) it's really not a call from God - Sometimes we see a need that we can meet and confuse that with a call. Or we confuse a desire with a call. Or we "feel' called becasue it gets attention or praise, or it feels good. Or we have hurt and need in our lives and that causes confusion and we do not hear God properly.

b)It's a call from God, but the other people do not like the call. Or they are jealous of you getting a call of any kind, or jealous of your relationship with God. Or the call does not conform to their understanding of what you should do or how things should be done. Or the call scares them.

If I may say, I think you are clear that you do not have a clear call to do anything just yet, but that things are happening in your life related to ministry. Clearly this should be a matter of prayer, as it is. I trust that your husband is also praying about the matter.

For the record, many Christians do not read the Bible as prohibiting women preaching to and teaching anyone. Clearly it is a difficult issue, one that I think we will never agree on, this side of heaven. I will not go into that issue here, only to mention that the Christian community is not in total agrement on this point.

 

[tesnusxenos]

For the record, many Christians do not read the Bible as prohibiting women preaching to and teaching anyone. Clearly it is a difficult issue, one that I think we will never agree on, this side of heaven. I will not go into that issue here, only to mention that the Christian community is not in total agrement on this point.

I was pretty firmly in the women shouldnt preach and teach camp until the end of April. That is when the Lord gave me a message for the College group and of course I said to the Lord, " Not me I cant do that women are not supposed to speak in church."
But he kept after me and finally I bargined "Ok, if the speaker pulls out at the last moment I will speak"
And of course the speaker pulled out.
and I spoke and someone came to know Jesus!
So now I am to the stage tyhat if someone asks I will speak or if the situation arises I will speak.
I am off to Youth congress next week and maybe the situation will arise that I am needed as a speaker, I am ready and eager (and afraid). I do have a message( I made an outline this time and tucked it in my Bible so that I dont have to speak off the cuff.

But I am eager to be about the Lords business and other work seems meaningless.

 

[bliz]

Try and get a hold of a copy of "Call Me Blessed" by Faith Martin. It is an easy to read, thoughtful book on the proper role of women and women and God.

I too knew that women were not to preach and teach... and then thing began to happen in my life. And I began to sudy more and learned that it is not such a cut- and-dried matter and not so clear in scripture.

One of my favorite passages is at the resurrection, where Jesus personally tells the women to go and tell the disciples that He has risen! Direct from God, women were told to go and teach men!

May God continue to bless you.

 

[Whitestone]

Mind if I inquire what is the college group? I mean is it a bible study, service, or some other kind of Christian gathering?

Just curious,

Whitestone

 

[tesnusxenos]

Usually we have a meal, a team building game, some singing with the student praise band and then someone (sometimes a student, sometimes an adult) gives a message. We also do mission trips and service projects. There is some one-on-one mentoring(adult/student)and student lead bible studies. Adults are available to go with the students to evangelize on campus. It is supposed to be a student lead ministry and we adults are there as facilitators for what ever projects the want to do and for mentoring and counseling.

 

[charligirl]

I believe that women should have a spiritual male covering in order to be in a position of ministry. Jesus is my husbands head and covering, and my husband is my head and covering. We are one flesh and as long as I am submitted to his Spiritual authority I have the freedom to teach and even preach.

 

[charligirl]

That's quite a commitment you have, in time and money. I don't see how you can do more at the moment if your husband is unwilling to support the work.

As a married Christian couple you are a team, and while it's good to have separate lives as well, it's important that your activities complement each other, bringing variety and stimulation to your marriage, rather than causing conflict.

Amen. You need to cry out to God that if it truely is His call for you that He speak to your husband about it. I don't think you will be operating correctly if you do not have his support and covering.

 

[SirKenin]

I am happily married (22 years). The problem is I really feel called to speak out for the Lord and my husband both doesn't feel called to serve and doesn't think women should teach. It is not like we fight about it or anything, but there is a tension that has been happening in the last six months since I started to strongly feel this way. I know how he feels about women pastors and teachers and I know all the verses but still I feel I need to speak.

For his reading pleasure and for a better understanding of women's role in the church, I highly recommend the following reading:

Women in the Church: Reclaiming the Ideal by Carroll Osbourne. It is © 2001 ACU Press. ISBN # 0-89112-021-1

I hope this helps him destroy the conventional thinking that women have no place in the church. I could help too, but I think this book will explain it much better by a man far more learned and theological than I'll ever be.

 

[bliz]

Your husband must be one incredible man if he is able to fill the role in your life that Jesus fills in his life. How ever did you find such a man?

I love my husband dearly and respect him highly, but I am not about to accept him as a substitute for Jesus.

 

[Paula]

Your husband must be one incredible man if he is able to fill the role in your life that Jesus fills in his life. How ever did you find such a man?

I love my husband dearly and respect him highly, but I am not about to accept him as a substitute for Jesus.

LoL, you've given some very practical advice on this thread, bliz, and I commend you for it.

I am happily married (22 years). The problem is I really feel called to speak out for the Lord and my husband both doesn't feel called to serve and doesn't think women should teach. It is not like we fight about it or anything, but there is a tension that has been happening in the last six months since I started to strongly feel this way. I know how he feels about women pastors and teachers and I know all the verses but still I feel I need to speak.

Several years ago, I attended a women's Bible study group that focused on a book by Cynthia Heald entitled, "Becoming a Woman of Excellence." It is part of a series of books designed for single and married women and focuses Christian women's role in society and the church. I trust you will find it useful and helpful.

http://www.bookfinder.us/review9/0891090665.html

[bible]Philippians 1:9-11[/bible]