Hey, how's everyone doing? I decided to post this in hopes of finding people who can relate. I'm 22 and about to go into my last semester of college. I am a Christan, but off and on I've been dealing with feeling lonely. It feels like I have no one I can truly connect with and the people I do meet and the friendships I do make only feel like "seasons" and not a true lasting bond I could say. I know with being filled with the Holy Spirit and trusting in Him for comfort and peace, and I do pray, but there are times where being lonely just really gets to me. It truly does hurt to feel this way.
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Feeling Alone
- Thread starter Ladyjones
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yuppers
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I can relate, I have no friends. I to get feelings of lonelyness. It sucks a lot, its human nature to have a companion, that's how god created us. In modern times though if you don't find your little place in society you get pushed out. I spend lots of time by myself. When I feel lonely I usually watch videos on YouTube, listen to music, or watch Netflix....
There's not much advise here, just wanted to let you know your not alone. I hope you find someone soon.... Maybe try joining a young adults group at a church to meet more Christians, just a thought.
There's not much advise here, just wanted to let you know your not alone. I hope you find someone soon.... Maybe try joining a young adults group at a church to meet more Christians, just a thought.
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Yeah I do the same thing, listen to music etc. Yeah being at college I really haven't met any true Christians and I even tried the Christian group on campus. I already do things at school, especially with being a Resident Assistant you meet a lot of people. I thought about maybe doing something at my church back home, but I go to school out of state and just resorted to watching my church live stream services.
But I then end up feeling so angry and sad that I don't have anyone to truly connect with. I know I'm not the only one going through something like this but so far it seemed like everyone else around me isn't experiencing any loneliness. I'm glad you responded to my post, and I really hope you'll find someone too.
But I then end up feeling so angry and sad that I don't have anyone to truly connect with. I know I'm not the only one going through something like this but so far it seemed like everyone else around me isn't experiencing any loneliness. I'm glad you responded to my post, and I really hope you'll find someone too.
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SharonL
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You are young and feeling lonely and I am old and feeling lonely. It seems as if people do not have time for friendship anymore. I find when I volunteer and help other people I do not feel the loneliness. I am 78 years old and volunteer at the hospital - it gets me out and meet people and I love helping people. When you are helping people we forget about ourselves. And remember that Jesus is your friend and the Bible says He will never leave you, so we really are not alone and I talk to Jesus just as I would a friend.
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yuppers
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That's good that your involved in meeting others. I can't really give advise on how to make friends but I'll try. I think at our age people usually already have a friend group so I don't think there really looking to make new ones. Then when someone like us comes along the people are nice to use but don't want to go further. I think being on the outside trying to get to the inside your the one who has to try and make an effort to try and get a lasting friend. So since you already meet people try and find someone with similar interests. Then get there phone #. Instead of waiting for them to call you call them first and make a plan....
That's my little idea
... I get angry and sad to. Usually because I wonder to my life came to a point like this.
You said "it seems like nones experiencing lonelieness" I think it's not good to look at people's outward image that they display. They might look like there all fine and dandy when there out and about. Once there at home though you have no idea what they struggle with. I can tell you this from my own life. Sometimes when I'm out with family, or even at work I hide all my problems. I smile and laugh at jokes but on the inside I'm truely broken.... Try looking around at others, I'm shure there's someone who looks like there full of life but there probably as lonely as you, or worse. I think if you can find that person you you'll find a good friend.
That's my little idea
... I get angry and sad to. Usually because I wonder to my life came to a point like this.You said "it seems like nones experiencing lonelieness" I think it's not good to look at people's outward image that they display. They might look like there all fine and dandy when there out and about. Once there at home though you have no idea what they struggle with. I can tell you this from my own life. Sometimes when I'm out with family, or even at work I hide all my problems. I smile and laugh at jokes but on the inside I'm truely broken.... Try looking around at others, I'm shure there's someone who looks like there full of life but there probably as lonely as you, or worse. I think if you can find that person you you'll find a good friend.
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@SharonL
- Yeah that's true about the volunteer thing. When I was a Resident Assistant it definitely puts the focus on other people and I felt great helping my residents and building a community with them. So yeah, helping others does take the focus away from self. And yeah I do try to talk to Jesus too, I know he's there for me of course. But sometimes it is nice to be able to connect and do things with other people you know? But I completely understand.
@yuppers
-Exactly. But sometimes I felt like I was always that person who would have to call first or make the effort, sometimes I kind of get tired of being that person and at times I feel like I wasted my time trying to make bonds with some people. And about the friend group that's true, it's like sometimes I do meet and go out with people but the "associate-friendship level" doesn't really progress sometimes, and that's understandable.
You're right, I shouldn't look at other people's outward image so much. I'm the same way, I can laugh and joke, and be all fine at work and school but really on the inside I'm hurting. It's like after being out and stuff or a long day after classes I come back to my room and feel lonely sometimes and just end up watching movies or playing FPS PC games online with people. And yeah I realize there are other people who feel the same or worse than I do. I've been dealing with this for a long time and I hope I meet a true Christian friend one day. I do realize that meeting more Christians would be helpful. Some of the people I've met etc. are into drinking sometimes and parties etc. I'm not really that type of person, and I think that kind of adds to really wanting to find a true friend someday.
Again, I want to really thank you guys for talking to me. I really do appreciate it, especially since y'all can relate to how I feel. Thanks for the reminder about Jesus, Sharon. And yuppers you seem like a good guy, I hope you find a friend too. I'll pray for you both. But it does make me feel a bit better talking to you guys.
- Yeah that's true about the volunteer thing. When I was a Resident Assistant it definitely puts the focus on other people and I felt great helping my residents and building a community with them. So yeah, helping others does take the focus away from self. And yeah I do try to talk to Jesus too, I know he's there for me of course. But sometimes it is nice to be able to connect and do things with other people you know? But I completely understand.
@yuppers
-Exactly. But sometimes I felt like I was always that person who would have to call first or make the effort, sometimes I kind of get tired of being that person and at times I feel like I wasted my time trying to make bonds with some people. And about the friend group that's true, it's like sometimes I do meet and go out with people but the "associate-friendship level" doesn't really progress sometimes, and that's understandable.
You're right, I shouldn't look at other people's outward image so much. I'm the same way, I can laugh and joke, and be all fine at work and school but really on the inside I'm hurting. It's like after being out and stuff or a long day after classes I come back to my room and feel lonely sometimes and just end up watching movies or playing FPS PC games online with people. And yeah I realize there are other people who feel the same or worse than I do. I've been dealing with this for a long time and I hope I meet a true Christian friend one day. I do realize that meeting more Christians would be helpful. Some of the people I've met etc. are into drinking sometimes and parties etc. I'm not really that type of person, and I think that kind of adds to really wanting to find a true friend someday.
Again, I want to really thank you guys for talking to me. I really do appreciate it, especially since y'all can relate to how I feel. Thanks for the reminder about Jesus, Sharon. And yuppers you seem like a good guy, I hope you find a friend too. I'll pray for you both. But it does make me feel a bit better talking to you guys.
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yuppers
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That happens to me to. I usually enjoy going to work because at work I actually socialize with people. Once I'm at home it's almost as if lonelyness is waiting at the door to greet me again. Weekends are usually the worst for me because I'm just stuck at home all the time. I end up just watching tv, YouTube, or like you fps.... I know what you mean by people drinking, it's become so acceptable to do it and it's everywhere. That's why I don't join anything at the church I go to... I'm not gona lie though sometimes, usually on weekends when I'm really lonely I sometimes drink more then I should. I feel really bad when I do but it takes my mind off being lonely. I want a friend who can help me be sober and enjoy life. Sadly it seems like people like that aren't in churches anymore ( or at least the one I'm in). The people drink for fun, I want to enjoy life how it should be.. Normal/ sober... Well there's my little secret try looking for a little church, somewhere where the people in it are humble. I think people in little churches might be better then ones in mega churches.
try looking for a little church, somewhere where the people in it are humble. I think people in little churches might be better then ones in mega churches.
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I feel the same way on weekends sometimes. And sometimes I drink too when I'm out. I tried the partying and going out, and getting a bit tipsy. But the drinking and going out doesn't stop the loneliness. I know I'm not perfect and I do other things that I shouldn't just to take my mind off of feeling lonely, but it's only temporary. I realize that it is o.k to cry and be angry and sad, everyone will experience a time in their lives where they get lonely. It's only how much one will allow that loneliness to have a hold on their lives. I would cry (sometimes cry myself to sleep) and get angry, but now I realize that it is in that time that I should talk to Jesus. Instead of just doing some of the things that I do or drinking, I should talk to God. I feel like it's in our most vulnerable moments where reaching out to Jesus is the one choice that we may neglect to make. I know Jesus understands how much it hurts to be alone, and I know he knows that in my heart I want someone I can connect with. And I thought about Psalm 37, how the Lord would give me the desires of my heart. But then I continued reading about being still and waiting patiently and to refrain from anger, delight in the Lord and trust in him etc. And it's true that I've been angry and started losing my patients, and I would pray for others and see how the Lord fulfilled it for them but not for me and that would make me even more angry.
I know he hasn't forgotten about me, and I realize how much I was focusing on me, and woe is me and throwing myself a pity party every night, that I never thought about others who felt the same way or worse. Instead I decided to try and change a bit, and pray for others feeling the same way. There's someone out there that needs a friend more than me, and I pray that God will help them, or help me to be a friend to someone who truly needs one more.
There's a really good church back at home, and maybe I'll find a good church out of state or where ever I go. I understand when you say it seems like people aren't like that in churches. It's sad that it feels like some people are practicing the religion or tradition, but aren't trying to be Christ-like. At one Christan group and church I tried, it just wasn't it. But I know if I pray and ask God to show me, he'll lead me to a good church.
And yeah the drinking has gotten really acceptable and it is everywhere. I would much rather do other stuff like paintball, or water skiing, zip lining, you know other cool stuff. But it seems like some of the people around me are just into going out and drinking.
I know he hasn't forgotten about me, and I realize how much I was focusing on me, and woe is me and throwing myself a pity party every night, that I never thought about others who felt the same way or worse. Instead I decided to try and change a bit, and pray for others feeling the same way. There's someone out there that needs a friend more than me, and I pray that God will help them, or help me to be a friend to someone who truly needs one more.
There's a really good church back at home, and maybe I'll find a good church out of state or where ever I go. I understand when you say it seems like people aren't like that in churches. It's sad that it feels like some people are practicing the religion or tradition, but aren't trying to be Christ-like. At one Christan group and church I tried, it just wasn't it. But I know if I pray and ask God to show me, he'll lead me to a good church.
And yeah the drinking has gotten really acceptable and it is everywhere. I would much rather do other stuff like paintball, or water skiing, zip lining, you know other cool stuff. But it seems like some of the people around me are just into going out and drinking.
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yuppers
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I used to cry a lot and get really depressed about having no friends. Now luckily it is better, I've kind of accepted the point in life I'm in. It still hurts but I don't get upset about it really anymore. Its true that we need to be more patient about our struggles and know that well get healing when the time is right. I like how you said we need to view Jesus as our friend. I think if we can built a good friendship and structure with Jesus first then well be less likely to fall into wrong doings. Especially now adays were it seems like everyone says god is someone different it would be good to know the truth for yourself... Anyways I hope your having/ had a good Sunday, maybe if you feel lonley or sad go for a walk by yourself and enjoy the beauty of nature
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dayhiker
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I've never been one to have much of a problem with being lonely as I like being by myself. But when the weekend comes and I don't have anything planned, I quite often look on meetup.com to see what is going on around my area to find something to do. I've meet some great people while doing things I like to do.
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I have the same issue, I'm a young adult with no friends. I have tried to mend relationships with my old friends but that isn't working out. Also trying to connect with new people but with little success. I'm doing the best I can, but it is hard to be alone.
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@yuppers
That's true, and I think I should go for a walk sometime, but it's pretty hot here now lol. But yeah as you said, I think trying to build up my relationship with Jesus would definitely be good. I think I should really try to continue to establish a good bond/relationship with Jesus. He really does help me feel at peace, and for some reason I have a feeling that I truly believe I'll meet that close friend one day. And when you mentioned the timing thing. I've been hearing that lately about God's timing. Although sometimes we may be hurting now but God's timing is always perfect. And I think sometimes I have to be reminded about the past things God has done for me and the things I've prayed about that he had fulfilled. It would also helped if I took the time to truly thank him more and praise him. Sometimes i get so caught up in my current situation that I kind of forget these things.
@dayhiker
Yeah I should probably take a look at some events that is going on and just get out and go downtown for a bit. But I'm the same way, I like being by myself sometimes, and also since I have no siblings I'm pretty much used to it lol. But ofcourse there are still times when I don't want to be alone, and I guess maybe just going out would help.
@gerbilgirl
I know exactly what you mean. I had tried to mend past relationships with my friends too, and it feels like that bond just really isn't there. Especially when I went out of state to college, I felt like I had to build up friendships again which I kind of felt like I shouldn't have to. It started to feel like I was the only one trying to build up the friendships and I felt like if they really cared then they would talk to me and do things with me to, but now I accept that it just won't be the same.
And yeah, trying to connect with new people really isn't easy sometimes. I kind of like to stay to myself, and most of my years in college it felt like I really didn't meet anyone. TBH it was after I had became a Resident Assistant that opened up a lot of opportunities to meet new people. I had tried school clubs and stuff but it really didn't work out. That being said, while I had an opportunity to meet some nice people, I didn't meet someone I could truly connect with. And it was kind of like, wow I met all of these people and staff members but not one person I could have a true friendship with but I am still happy for the people I've met.
That's true, and I think I should go for a walk sometime, but it's pretty hot here now lol. But yeah as you said, I think trying to build up my relationship with Jesus would definitely be good. I think I should really try to continue to establish a good bond/relationship with Jesus. He really does help me feel at peace, and for some reason I have a feeling that I truly believe I'll meet that close friend one day. And when you mentioned the timing thing. I've been hearing that lately about God's timing. Although sometimes we may be hurting now but God's timing is always perfect. And I think sometimes I have to be reminded about the past things God has done for me and the things I've prayed about that he had fulfilled. It would also helped if I took the time to truly thank him more and praise him. Sometimes i get so caught up in my current situation that I kind of forget these things.
@dayhiker
Yeah I should probably take a look at some events that is going on and just get out and go downtown for a bit. But I'm the same way, I like being by myself sometimes, and also since I have no siblings I'm pretty much used to it lol. But ofcourse there are still times when I don't want to be alone, and I guess maybe just going out would help.
@gerbilgirl
I know exactly what you mean. I had tried to mend past relationships with my friends too, and it feels like that bond just really isn't there. Especially when I went out of state to college, I felt like I had to build up friendships again which I kind of felt like I shouldn't have to. It started to feel like I was the only one trying to build up the friendships and I felt like if they really cared then they would talk to me and do things with me to, but now I accept that it just won't be the same.
And yeah, trying to connect with new people really isn't easy sometimes. I kind of like to stay to myself, and most of my years in college it felt like I really didn't meet anyone. TBH it was after I had became a Resident Assistant that opened up a lot of opportunities to meet new people. I had tried school clubs and stuff but it really didn't work out. That being said, while I had an opportunity to meet some nice people, I didn't meet someone I could truly connect with. And it was kind of like, wow I met all of these people and staff members but not one person I could have a true friendship with but I am still happy for the people I've met.
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It is blessed to know we have the best Friend in the Lord Jesus. If one can be gathered in Christian fellowship with those who exalt Jesus as lord of their lives and highly esteem the Word of God, they can have precious fellowship. It is not like friends in the world systems with different values.
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Faithfulandtrue
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I get lonely too. I don't really have friends that I can really hang out with anymore. They all are busy and I wish I was in college.
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Hey, I'm doing pretty good it's really nice of you to wonder how I am. I know I haven't been here in a while but I'm doing much better and feel much better. Since I last posted here I've been busy with work and trying to get closer to God. I took a break from some social media sites (facebook, instagram) since at the time it would kind of bother me that some people who I thought were good friends were hanging out with other people, not seeing how I'm doing or hanging out with me etc. I also decided to just not really text anyone since I wanted some time to myself and of course was feeling pretty angry. Since I've stopped I've had some people actually talk and me, and an old friend of mine since middle school actually called.
I've also been pretty busy with getting ready to go back to school and there were some problems with that initially, but everything worked out. So I have to say that I thank God I'm doing much better. Much better than waking up sad sometimes or crying. But I think its when I stopped being on facebook, instagram, and dwelling on how upset and hurt I was, that I started to feel much better. I already prayed about it, and instead started to thank God for taking the loneliness away and sending someone I can connect with. It's still a process sometimes and there are times when it feels like I look back and get kind of bothered again, but it's not like how I was when I first posted here.
So all and all, everything is going o.k so far. I actually thought about you guys too.
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yuppers
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That's great to hear . Keep looking forward. It's good that your finding people to talk to. It's nice that an old friend called, I think it would be easier to reconnect with an old friend then make new ones.... I think it's much better that your off social media. To make friends you have to talk to someone face to face... Don't let someone you thought was your friend bother you if they don't invite you places. It'll make you look back and like you said make you sad again. Keep looking forward and enjoy your progress so far. Again, I'm really happy things are starting to look up again.
. Keep looking forward. It's good that your finding people to talk to. It's nice that an old friend called, I think it would be easier to reconnect with an old friend then make new ones.... I think it's much better that your off social media. To make friends you have to talk to someone face to face... Don't let someone you thought was your friend bother you if they don't invite you places. It'll make you look back and like you said make you sad again. Keep looking forward and enjoy your progress so far. Again, I'm really happy things are starting to look up again.
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