Feel strange.

[berry2000]

Feeling strange. But not in a good way. I think it is depression. Strange but I only vaguely remember it. But as the days go by (day 2 complete) I start to remember. I remember what it felt like to have trouble staying awake all day...like your body wants to shut down and shut everything out. Everything feels like it requires a gargantian effort. Simple things like mailing a package seem to require super human effort. I lay on the floor because I'm so exhausted. And a blanket of apathy finds its way into the majority of my thoughts. What purpose is there in life? The days seem to come and go and seem meaningless. I can't keep up with my family. I curl up on the bed while they are doing the daily evening routine.

And I wonder is this a small taste of depression. Or just the beginning of steady decline. Will I hit the devastating lows I've had before in my life. Or is this just a bump in the road.

And I remember how I have very little control over this disease. How it doesn't care what important things I have to do or what important things my husband has coming up.

And I pray...that it will be over soon...and that this is not just the beginning.

 

[wonderwaleye]

Feeling strange. But not in a good way. I think it is depression. Strange but I only vaguely remember it. But as the days go by (day 2 complete) I start to remember. I remember what it felt like to have trouble staying awake all day...like your body wants to shut down and shut everything out. Everything feels like it requires a gargantian effort. Simple things like mailing a package seem to require super human effort. I lay on the floor because I'm so exhausted. And a blanket of apathy finds its way into the majority of my thoughts. What purpose is there in life? The days seem to come and go and seem meaningless. I can't keep up with my family. I curl up on the bed while they are doing the daily evening routine.

And I wonder is this a small taste of depression. Or just the beginning of steady decline. Will I hit the devastating lows I've had before in my life. Or is this just a bump in the road.

And I remember how I have very little control over this disease. How it doesn't care what important things I have to do or what important things my husband has coming up.

And I pray...that it will be over soon...and that this is not just the beginning.

Dear Berry2000

To me this would be a definite sign that it's time to see the doctor.

Something is not RIGHT!!!

You know it!!! So it MUST be up to you to see that it's taken care of so you can go on with life!!!

Do it for you and the WHOLE family.

ALWAYS REMEMBER:






“ Believe “ in Greek is a verb and has three components which are: hearing, accepting, and then acting ( COMMITING ) upon that which you have accepted.

X Even though you can't see him, GOD is there!!! O
( click on the x and drag to the O ) ( then see who is with you ) steven

 

[broken4him]

Berry lifting you up in prayer.

 

[blessedblonde]

I will be praying for you... I hope this passes... dont wait until it gets too bad... God bless

 

[Crystal~Rose]

Berry I agree I would see your Dr. I pray this is indeed a bump in the road for you. Hugs

 

[berry2000]

I am starting to feel better. I think it was a bump. But it got so dark so fast it kinda scared me. My therapist tells me to "rate" the depression so she can get a feel for what I'm coping with. I went from a "0" to a "7" in one day. I don't understand it sometimes. But yeah I'm feeling better...much more managable. So a bump in the road I can handle.

As far as the doc is concerned I recently went down on 1 antidepressant (just 10mg) and my doctor has given me permission to bump it back up those 10mg as needed. So that is what I did.

 

[Alive again]

Sounds like you used good sense and your doc was aware. I remember once going down on antidepressant and feeling like a bottomless void opened up under me. UGH!!! So I can relate to your rapid drop. I have been praying for you since u posted, but have been a bit on the down and exhausted side myself so I have not been posting much. Glad to hear you are on the upswing. Hoping you level out with this!!!

 

[berry2000]

Oh dang. Now it's the anxiety that's out of control. I've had to take my as needed Xanax almost everyday for a week (bar a day or two) usually I onlly take it like 2 times a month. I feel so anxious now. GRrrrr. Why is life like this?

 

[berry2000]

Met with my therapist today. I described to her what happened. She said I had a mini episode. But she thought it was over and that I navigated it pretty well.

I don't know about you guys but I get scared when my mood starts to fluctuate. I never know how bad it's going to get or how long it will last. Luckily it seems like my episodes are getting smaller and shorter.

 

[kathleenmary]

Met with my therapist today. I described to her what happened. She said I had a mini episode. But she thought it was over and that I navigated it pretty well.

I don't know about you guys but I get scared when my mood starts to fluctuate. I never know how bad it's going to get or how long it will last. Luckily it seems like my episodes are getting smaller and shorter.

oh berry, i hope youre feeling so much better now!
i alsways get scared wen my mood fluctuates. tell us how youre doing!

 

[stacii]

Glad to hear you are doing better! Keep us posted. I'll be praying for you!