Feel like im drowning in my mistake

[newbeliever02072005]

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[annrobert]

Hi

I dont know what to do, i am really struggling Spiritually and with my marriage, i am questioning everything in my life and what it all means. I was married very young (20yrs) and have been married for 6 years. I love my husband dearly, but we fight all the time and I find that i am regretting getting married so young (however I dont regret marrying him)... i do feel like im trapped. I had no concept of 'for life' when i married. I did choose a great husband and he is a wonderful man, but i feel like i am married to a friend, i am not really physically attracted to him and much of the time i feel more like his mother than his wife.

To make all this worse I developed a close male friendship (over a 1.5yrs ago) with an older man, this soon turned into more (we have not had sex but are physically/emotionally involved, we speak daily). I feel like im drowning. Never did i think in a million years i would be in this mess that I have got myself in. My husband knows about this other man but does not know the details or that i still have contact with him, he knows that I was in love with the other man and he with me.

I feel like this is all slowly killing my walk with my husband and with God, and I feel really disturbed by this. I have no idea what im doing and why, i feel like it happened over such a long time, little bit by little bit that i havent even had the time to feel guilty about this relationship and where it was going until recently when it went further than it should have. Its only just started to hit me what a mess i am in, and i have no idea who to turn to and what to do to fix this mess.

I love my husband and want to feel with him, what i feel with this other man.

Please don't judge me, I know I have stuffed up. I am seeking your wisdom, support and prayer to pull myself out of this and move on with my husband. I don't feel i have anyone else i can talk to about this.

Thanks in advance

This is not healthy for your marriage
is not healthy spiritually
this person is damaging your marriage

You love your husband deeply

please make the right choice and stop seeing the other person immediately

(((hugs))))

annrobert