feel like giving up

[Christian_Altima]

Killing yourself is a sin. Don';t Do IT! Just start to pray about it!

 

[water_ripple]

*sigh* here it goes.
i wanna die.
life just doesn't seem worth living.
everything sucks.
everybody sucks.
i even feel like giving up on God.
the more i study christianity, the more it sickens me, and the more i just want out. people use "God" as an excuse to hate.
it makes me mad.
and worst of all, it does nothing for me. im nothing anyway, even with God. cause with God, im just a woman, and women aren't special. men are better, at least that's what "Christians" say.
so im seriously considering suicide. i mean, i've wanted to do it in the past but now it just seems so.. so.. wonderful.
tomorrow will be another day. i'll go to school, come in a good mood, and leave thinking the world sucks.
im so tired of this rollercoaster. i want out. im getting out. as of right now, tomorrow seems like the right time.

On a personal level please do not do it. A close loved one of mine commited suicide, and I still grieve from this tragedy. I wrote a testimony for him:

The Tragic Acer

Autumn leaves in liquid yellow fire
an October tidal dance
celebrated your glory
Windy rustling whispers
a quaking memory
jack-hammering my core
Maple sap tear drips
the sticky bittersweet scalds
caress my face
Buried roots in timely sleep
invisible earthly anchors
stabalizing the rest
The Acer's benevolent grace
ring shaped years
sheared by tragedy
we grieve there.

This is how much I've missed him. And I would miss you if you left. We all have to stick together to do God's work. We must bond together in love to survive the trials of life. My PM box is always open

 

[Susan]

JFFL, your future is so promising and so open, despite how you may feel at the time. Please don't throw it away for the sake of your current despair. . . I would be so sad if you did, because of what you could have done here, what you could have been, who you could have helped. . .

Your life is precious and so full of hope and potential-even if you don't see it at this time.

 

[jesus_freak_for_life]

jitan posted something in CT&YM saying that i was making this all up for attention..
can someone get him out and away from my threads?
anyway.. it's getting a little better.. even if i dont really wanna stay here..

 

[doofus125]

jitan posted something in CT&YM saying that i was making this all up for attention..
can someone get him out and away from my threads?
anyway.. it's getting a little better.. even if i dont really wanna stay here..

Just so you know, you should ignore Jitan...he has been giving very bad advice to christians and has been asked in other threads not to give his 2 cents because what he is saying goes against everything in the bible.....

 

[Jitan]

Hahahahahahahahahah. Y u h8 me?

 

[doofus125]

Hahahahahahahahahah. Y u h8 me?

I don't hate you, I just think you are giving advice that you shouldn't be giving and I'm not the only person who thinks so......

 

[TheOriginalWhitehorse]

jitan posted something in CT&YM saying that i was making this all up for attention..
can someone get him out and away from my threads?
anyway.. it's getting a little better.. even if i dont really wanna stay here..

What would you like us to do for you?

 

[TheOriginalWhitehorse]

Water Ripple, I am so very sorry you had to go through that. What a beautiful poem-you're very gifted. I'm just sorry you had to endure what inspired it.

 

[Stanfi]

Jesus Freak,

I want to invite you to visit a site. www.behindthebadge.net There is some really good information on suicide there.

Men are not better than women. I don't know where you got that at, but we are all equal in the eyes of God. He loves us all the same.

It sounds to be that you are suffering from some severe depression. Go get some help, see a doctor. Get some medication if you need it. Talk to your friends (The true ones who care about you). Exercise. Life is worth living, you have to decide that for yourself.

Here is something that has helped me. I used to focus on what I was missing in my life. That just made depression worse. Now, before I go to bed, I pray and thank God for what he has done for me on that day. This has really helped to get my life in a different perspective.

I know that life can get confusing. I am twice your age, and I am still trying to figure out what God is doing in my life. I have decide to do my very best to trust in Him, and put Him first, and love HIM with all my heart.

 

[water_ripple]

Whitehorse:

I see you around in CF. I read your posts. It is nice to see somebody who really cares for others. I too truly care for people and it breaks my heart to know of their hurt. Thanx for sharing your kindness

 

[GodOwnsMe]

let us know how things are going.... if ya want =)
keep fighting *hugs*

 

[TheOriginalWhitehorse]

Whitehorse:

I see you around in CF. I read your posts. It is nice to see somebody who really cares for others. I too truly care for people and it breaks my heart to know of their hurt. Thanx for sharing your kindness

Water Ripple, I've really been enjoying yours, too. I can tell you really love other people and that's what makes Christ's light shine so bright. Thank you for being a blessing.

 

[cyberwing]

Hey Jesus Freak For Life! How are you doing today? (I know sometimes when we are in a valley we have some days that are even worse that others, even though most of the days are rough.) Just want you to know, we still are praying for you, precious lamb. if you need to vent a little, feel free to PM. {{{BIG Cyber-hug}}}
~DJ

 

[cutekid 4 Jesus]

[bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]...again?? Jeez...

Anyways, just ignore everything you're feeling right, it'll all work out...sooner or later.

Everyone's really been down on Jitan,n i cant blame them most of the time but he has made a point this time-I have really learnt a lot this year about not letting ur emotions rule you,a brilliant book to explain it is the 'Calvary Cross'. Every feeling of irritation,oversensitivity etc is not from God,we must not let these feeling rule us..Im still fighting them. Sometimes ill feel so so low but ill pray anyway for strength and joy and thats what i get,sometimes i feel like even praying is so tiresome and i so dont feel like it. I also get annoyed with other christians -for not living right,for not focusing on Jesus etc,then i remember if i focused more on my walk with Jesus myself i might not have my peace disturbed by them so much-the Word says 'let the peace of God rule your hearts and ur mind'(or sumfin like that i cant find the reference). No its not easy,especially for an emotional person like me but im not gonna give,never ever. I can criticize other christians all i like and bemoan their lack of love-which i do sometimes-but i need to remember its all about God,not me and not them. Im getting less and less critical of other people now and more focused on my walk with God and im really feeling like im beginning to walk in the spirit now...so stick in there Jesus_freak_for_life..thats if u really are a J_F_F_L. Ive been there,in fact ive planned my own suicide many times,im so glad we have a merciful God who has forgiven me for this-cos it was a sin whatever i was feeling. Open your heart to God ask for his forgiveness,healing and strength,no matter how low u r feeling just keep on asking,keep on worshipping,dont focus on the faults of others or even ur own faults and inadequacies which often are the things which lead us to overconcentrate on the shortcomings of others. Im praying for you,ive been there,I hated everything and everyone but Yahweh brought me through it..for His glory and thats what im gonna live for.

 

[TheOriginalWhitehorse]

 

[ZiSunka]

jesus_freak_for_life,

PM me with your address and I'll send you a great book called, "Have you felt like giving up lately?" It helped me a lot, when nothing else did.

Much love, Lamb's Love