feel like cutting

[painNsiolence]

I haven't cut in about 8 months, but I want to so bad it's how I learned to cope after all the things I went thru as a kid I guess, the raping and touching and all the abuse just effects me so much even to this day. And my husband is schizophrenic and he thinks that demons rape him, and peoples minds rape him, and I want to be there for him but it triggers so much in me And as for substance abuse that I was really really hard into along with the cutting and I watched Augusta Gone on Lifetime tonight and it made me think about the consiquences. I feel so aweful. I barely get out of bed anymore, I have this side of me coming out that tells me I will always suffer so much and there's no reason to abstane from cutting and drugs and I get feels of worthlessness, depression, hopelessness, and I hate me. Have for a long time I feel like I won't ever get better enough to help people like I want I am so tired, not sleepy "tired" and I feel so worn out like I am over 100, but I am only 20. I am so scared of myself, the past, present, future, life, letting others in, and I am scared of my husband, I never know if he's gunna flip out or how.




Love and Take,
Carolyn.

 

[texannurse]

I have no real answers other than - don't give up! Please, don't give up. I am praying for you right now that you see your life as infinitely precious. God bless you.
In Him,
texannurse

 

[NinadeDios777]

*hugs* i just prayed for ya.... stay safe.

 

[LiveInFaithfulness]

Carolyn,

i'm so sorry that you have so many burdens weighing you down. I want you to know that you are a precious child of God! He loves you so much, Carolyn, and He will help you through this...in fact, He wants to help you, He desperately wants to. Lay all of these burdens at His feet. He will carry them for you! You don't have to hold onto these things anymore. I'm so proud of you that you have gone 8 months without cutting, and i know that you can continue on that path. You can overcome the temptation! Just ask God to help you, and He will be right there with you, every step of the way. Carolyn, you are so loved. You have a Father in Heaven who will give you the strength, the peace, the wisdom to get through. He will heal your wounds and restore your soul! God has so much planned for your life, honey. You have so much to look forward to. You don't have to suffer anymore. Let go of those feelings of worthlessness, because you are so worthy! Let go of those feelings of depression and hopelessness, because with God, you can have a joy and a hope unlike anything you could possibly imagine! Let go of that hate, because you were made in God's image--he knew you completely even before you were born, and He has always and will always love you! Lay your pain at the foot of the cross and rest in your Father's arms. He will get you through.

I will be praying for you, and if you need to talk, don't hesitate to send me a private message!

Love, Tara

Lord, i ask that You will be with Carolyn tonight. Help her to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Show her Your love, and bring her a peace and joy that surpasses all understanding; that strength that only You can bring. Lord, take from her the burdens that she has been carrying and carry them for her. Bring her through these trials and give her the strength and wisdom to face each day. Restore her soul and guide her according to Your will. In Jesus' name i pray, Amen.

 

[Tubachick]

Carolyn,
I will ba praying for you. Things may seem hopeless but just hang in there. Keep us posted on how you are doing. Godspeed!

-chuck

 

[Mayflower1]

I will be praying for you. Nothing is hopeless, when God is here. Through God, you can do ALL things. Lily00

 

[salvation12288]

Life is tough. I am a cutter. Keep yourself going! I promise that things will get better! I promise that if you trust in God things will start to get better! God will heal you in his time!

Prayin' for ya!

 

[TheMainException]

My sister, you need to talk to someone such as a counselor who can help you. Just as my physical scars will never leave, neither will your emotional scars. It will be with you forever, but talking to someone who can help you sort it out will make it easier. Please, talk to me, talk to someone else here, but most of all, talk to someone trained in helping in depression and the sort. It helped me and I know it can help you at least a little.

My love to you dear one,
lauren