feel like a loser

[chrissyparla28]

hi..im new here and I need someone to talk to. I am a young mom to 5 kids. I'm 28 yrs old and my husband is 31. We're going through a really hard time financially and I just don't know what to do. I feel like a failure as a parent. We have gone through so much. We been evicted from my inlaws apt in 2011 because they didn't pay the rent so we were kicked out and at that time we had 3 kids. We lost all their stuff and moved into my parents apt. We lived there for 6 wks and the tenant above them moved and we got the apt. Everything was great... We had hard time here and there like everyone but things were managable. But then almost two yrs in I got pregnant and got sick and my husband couldn't work for a wk. The landlord said it was ok but then a wk later she asked for the rent acting like she didn't understand. So months went by and she wanted us out. She made our lives a living hell. We went to delaware to see a house and she texted me saying she was changing the locks and if I step on the premises she would call the cops. I told her my stuff was still in there but she didn't care. When I got back I called the cops and they said what she did was illegal but she also turned my water off so I had to move. We stayed with my parents again and we were there for 1 month and we found a house to rent in Delaware. Everything was fine but my husbands boss promised to transfer him and he didn't. So he had to work in NY and stay in hotels. I was 5 months pregnant and dealing with the kids alone. At this point we had 4 kids plus being pregnant. We stayed out in de for 7 months and my husband went from Jon to job and nothing lasted. We had to move back to ny in mu parents apt again. For 2 months and it was really bad. My kids went to 2 diff schools in one school yr. They don't know what its like to get close to friends because we never seem to be able to settle. I can't give them everything they need. Sometimes it shows. Were in ny living in a two bd room apt with a family of 7 @nd our rent is $2100 plus the bills. We are struggling so much and the only option if the landlord lets us break the lease is move to Pittsburgh and stay with his family which I don't wanna do. I'm so depressed. Majorly depressed. We are going crazy for money right now. And it wasn't supposed to be this way. All I wanted was a husband and a family. I have health issues that interfere without love life. I can't live like this. And what's worse is my bff died 5 months ago. I just don't know. I wanted the suburb life. Our car is in horrible shape. It was stolen 2 months ago and found later with the steering column broken. We have to use screwdriver to start it. When is it gonna be our turn.... Sorry this is so long but today I've done nothing but cry. Our electric will shut off on the 12... And I'm so stressed. My landlord is always finding ways to get more money out of us and were drowning. If we break the lease she could sue us. Idk. I just need prayers please.

 

[ToBeBlessed]

Wow, you have been through a lot and five kids is more than a handful.

I know you posted on the depression forum, so I'd like to ask if you think your depression is situational or do you have a long standing problem with depression?

I will be praying for you and check back on this thread later.

 

[Criada]

That's a lot to cope with!
I'm sorry, sister - praying for you
I'm not from the US, so I don't know your system, but is there not some kind of welfare or aid you can claim to help you get back on your feet?

 

[chrissyparla28]

thanks for the replies. I don't believe I have depression all the time. I think its just because of the situation.

as for welfare they have said he makes too much money but they go by net pay. They don't realize how much tax they take out.