- Nov 9, 2005
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Well my forties so far aren't looking too fabulous. I'm 43,I'm just going through a separation with my wife and am back up near my family and hometown and it's been a time for reflection. I mean,I'm always thinking about things but it just hit me again how much of a failure in life I feel.
For example, my sister is 39 and has been with a pharmaceutical company for 16 years and yesterday we got into an argument about something and she said she works with doctors who make alot of money but you have no place to speak because where are you in life?...
I know deep down that I've gone through experiences most people have yet to,so I feel that I have more practical knowledge than people who have been buried in one place for all those years. Maybe it's part of a midlife crisis,but lately I've been wishing alot that I'd done things differently in life and would've had a better history. Now looking back it just looks like a big mess...I've had over 60 jobs and looked at that as various learning experience,but not so great on the wallet. I've got nothing financially,and to me that's like the backbone of life to me...if you don't have money you don't have much. Similar to what people say about health.
I'm not sure if it's too late now to start cleaning up,but perhaps I just gave up awhile back when I was going through those storms and just thought that somehow things will work out,like I'll hit a big lottery or something. But I realize I need something bankable to count on.
Where do I go from here?...
For example, my sister is 39 and has been with a pharmaceutical company for 16 years and yesterday we got into an argument about something and she said she works with doctors who make alot of money but you have no place to speak because where are you in life?...
I know deep down that I've gone through experiences most people have yet to,so I feel that I have more practical knowledge than people who have been buried in one place for all those years. Maybe it's part of a midlife crisis,but lately I've been wishing alot that I'd done things differently in life and would've had a better history. Now looking back it just looks like a big mess...I've had over 60 jobs and looked at that as various learning experience,but not so great on the wallet. I've got nothing financially,and to me that's like the backbone of life to me...if you don't have money you don't have much. Similar to what people say about health.
I'm not sure if it's too late now to start cleaning up,but perhaps I just gave up awhile back when I was going through those storms and just thought that somehow things will work out,like I'll hit a big lottery or something. But I realize I need something bankable to count on.
Where do I go from here?...