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FaithInChrist27
Guest
Hello. I came on here tonight because I need an outlet. I don't really have anyone to talk to. I'm married, however, it feels as though my husband is never there...sometimes physically, sometimes mentally. He works out of town from time to time, which is fine. But he also plays on his computer every night from the time he gets home until he goes to bed...as well as a lot on the weekends. I usually eat dinner every night with our kids while he is in the other room on his computer. He hardly talks to me besides to say hi or ask me how my day was. And I feel as though he is ditching me on a regular basis to spend time with his friend. I usually try not to let this get to me. I've come to accept the fact that my husband can be, well...self serving. I know everyone can be from time to time...even myself. But I feel as though his family consistenly comes last. I know he loves us (we have two kids ages 3 and 7). But a lot of times I feel taken advantage of and taken for granted. I feel bad because he hardly says or does anything with the kids either. I feel so overwhelmed most of the time. I work a full time job as well as prepare meals every day, take care of household responsibilities, ect. I never have time for friends. He doesn't have the patience for the kids and doesn't like it when he has to take care of them for more than a short while.
Anyway, to get to the point, something happened today that upset me. I've been working on the house for two day straight. Our oldest has had the flu with a high temp for two days. We weren't able to make it to my family's house for Easter because our daughter was sick. I told him earlier today that I just feel so exhausted and need a break. I still had to help at church today, prepare meals for the week and get groceries. He says how he hates seeing me like this. But then proceeds to ask if it would be okay with me if he has his friend over. He starts talking about all of these things he is going to do this week to help me out. He tells me that he is going to take his friend home early today so that he can spend time with us later. Well...it is now 10:30 at night and he just left to take his friend home. (I am used to him not keeping his word which is why all of his promises mean nothing to me) And...I was never able to get groceries because he was not here to watch the kids...or at least not in the house. And I have to go back to work tomorrow. Him and his friend stay out in the garage. I just feel as though he ditches me a lot and leaves me with all the responsibilities.
On top of it all, I am starting to have a hard time with handling my frustration. I feel so overhwhelmed sometimes that I just want to be by myself all the time just to feel as though I need to clear my head. But I don't get much of the opportunity. I feel like a single parent. And sometimes I loose my patience with the kids and dont' handle things the way I think I should handle them. Then I feel worse. Not only that, I want so badly to do what matters most in my life...to spend time with my family, my kids, and to have friends. But I feel like most of my life is spent just surviving and trying to keep up. I feel like I am always rushing. I don't want my kids to feel like an inconvenience to me. Sorry for the rambling. Just venting.
Anyway, to get to the point, something happened today that upset me. I've been working on the house for two day straight. Our oldest has had the flu with a high temp for two days. We weren't able to make it to my family's house for Easter because our daughter was sick. I told him earlier today that I just feel so exhausted and need a break. I still had to help at church today, prepare meals for the week and get groceries. He says how he hates seeing me like this. But then proceeds to ask if it would be okay with me if he has his friend over. He starts talking about all of these things he is going to do this week to help me out. He tells me that he is going to take his friend home early today so that he can spend time with us later. Well...it is now 10:30 at night and he just left to take his friend home. (I am used to him not keeping his word which is why all of his promises mean nothing to me) And...I was never able to get groceries because he was not here to watch the kids...or at least not in the house. And I have to go back to work tomorrow. Him and his friend stay out in the garage. I just feel as though he ditches me a lot and leaves me with all the responsibilities.
On top of it all, I am starting to have a hard time with handling my frustration. I feel so overhwhelmed sometimes that I just want to be by myself all the time just to feel as though I need to clear my head. But I don't get much of the opportunity. I feel like a single parent. And sometimes I loose my patience with the kids and dont' handle things the way I think I should handle them. Then I feel worse. Not only that, I want so badly to do what matters most in my life...to spend time with my family, my kids, and to have friends. But I feel like most of my life is spent just surviving and trying to keep up. I feel like I am always rushing. I don't want my kids to feel like an inconvenience to me. Sorry for the rambling. Just venting.
