Fed up

[caleb2514]

For whatever reason, I always feel I have to be perfect. If the perfection is not there I get very frustrated. Examples:

I feel like I should have a perfect body (male cover magazine-type body). I get on kicks where I'll workout like 40+ days in a row or eat extremely healthy for like 15 days in a row. Then I'll get tired of it and eat pizza, soda, junk, and quit working out for a while (which leads me to feel absolutely horrible about myself).

I'm getting married in about a month. This truly is a bright spot in my life. I worry about sex though. I want to be able to connect with her, not just physically. On top of that, I touch at times and think of other women or thoughts I shouldn't be thinking. I try so hard to just stop and wait till my wedding night and pray everything will turn out fine then. But I feel wrong about what I'm doing.

I am in a job that requires performance every day. I am a person of quality work, so I focus so much on that, that I'm not good at quantity. When I see that others are outperforming me I get very frustrated. I can't stand not being "the best" at what I do.

My room as we speak is a big mess. I used to keep it clean and tidy, but lately I've been zapped with no energy and plenty of other excuses to do simple household chores.

----I'll save you guys on every aspect of my life, but the problem is I have these extreme standards of myself and when I don't hit them I shift to the complete opposite end of the spectrum. Same thing is happening with my Christian lifestyle. I am super focussed one week, and the next I don't even feel like praying b/c I feel it is "too much work or time consuming". This is talking to the Creator, I can't even muster up energy or time to have a morning conversation with God? Something is wrong, or something is missing. I'm so tired of fighting this. One day I'm Mr. Discipline and have everything in order, the next I'm lazy, procrastinating, dull, boring. I feel fed up.

Words of advice, wisdom, etc are welcome.

PS. This is my first post, I've been lurking a little lately and thought I'd give this place a try

 

[Starling]

For whatever reason, I always feel I have to be perfect. If the perfection is not there I get very frustrated. Examples:

I feel like I should have a perfect body (male cover magazine-type body). I get on kicks where I'll workout like 40+ days in a row or eat extremely healthy for like 15 days in a row. Then I'll get tired of it and eat pizza, soda, junk, and quit working out for a while (which leads me to feel absolutely horrible about myself).

I'm getting married in about a month. This truly is a bright spot in my life. I worry about sex though. I want to be able to connect with her, not just physically. On top of that, I touch at times and think of other women or thoughts I shouldn't be thinking. I try so hard to just stop and wait till my wedding night and pray everything will turn out fine then. But I feel wrong about what I'm doing.

I am in a job that requires performance every day. I am a person of quality work, so I focus so much on that, that I'm not good at quantity. When I see that others are outperforming me I get very frustrated. I can't stand not being "the best" at what I do.

My room as we speak is a big mess. I used to keep it clean and tidy, but lately I've been zapped with no energy and plenty of other excuses to do simple household chores.

----I'll save you guys on every aspect of my life, but the problem is I have these extreme standards of myself and when I don't hit them I shift to the complete opposite end of the spectrum. Same thing is happening with my Christian lifestyle. I am super focussed one week, and the next I don't even feel like praying b/c I feel it is "too much work or time consuming". This is talking to the Creator, I can't even muster up energy or time to have a morning conversation with God? Something is wrong, or something is missing. I'm so tired of fighting this. One day I'm Mr. Discipline and have everything in order, the next I'm lazy, procrastinating, dull, boring. I feel fed up.

Words of advice, wisdom, etc are welcome.

PS. This is my first post, I've been lurking a little lately and thought I'd give this place a try

Wherever you wish to go -- there God will take you so long as it involves health, virtue, and joy, rather than death, viciousness, and despair.

The key is... patience. Let God do it in you and through you. Yield yourself to the operation of divine judgment upon you and let it transfigure you.

 

[nowhereville]

I'm not a guy so there may be some "guy" issues going on here that I am not aware of, but I do put a lot of pressure on myself, way too much pressure actually and it causes a lot of stress in my life.

I did something that I can not really share because it may cause others to stumble so I will tell you about it without telling you what it is, (not necessarily a sin). There was something in my life that I'd abstained from for like twenty years or so and then I did it. It was very anticlimatic actually. I thought you know the ground would shake, there'd be thunder, life as I knew it would be over. I put so much pressure on me to NEVER do that thing again. I did decide okay this is not for me and stopped again without an issue.

The most liberating thing about that whole experience was that guess what - I messed up and the world did NOT end. It continued.

It was a very eye opening experience for me - it was not a "good" thing per se that I did, but it happened, I said okay no this is not cool and I went on.

Putting that much pressure on yourself is NEVER a good thing -it's bondage for sure. You dont need to be perfect - you just need to be willing - willing to hear god, willing to obey god and just flat out willing.

That's been my experience.

 

[Anti Existance]

Stop going for the diamonds in your life , and settle for the brass. I have something for you to read that will change your life and how you perceive things.

http://www.near-death.com/rosenblit.html (dont read the small notes, just read daniels near death experience)

 

[goldenviolet]

i think the struggles with sexuality would be a good forum to browse. they talk about these things and other issues in our lives around our sexuality and relationships.
this is my two cents... with have you shared your fears with her? (not details that would hurt her) i'll bet she is exsperiancing 100% the same fears about her body (no matter what she looks like) and her sexuality. it is scary and exciting, and everything else all over the board. (i remeber, and i remember everyone telling me this was normal)... this is normal. the touching yourself and thinking of other woman needs prayer, self sacrifice and self disapline. things like this are the things that creep in, steal out joy, imprsion us in low self esteem and make us ashamed in our Father's presence.
God bless you! *prays for blessings over you and future marriage*

 

[Johnnz]

Was your family life supportive, encouraging? Did you know you were loved and accepted for who you are?

John
NZ

 

[UnitynLove]

How many times have you heard the expression, "Nobody's perfect"? We use and hear this expression almost every day. But it's true—I'm not perfect, you're not perfect, nobody's perfect. Hopefully though, we are all getting better, on our way to perfection. The important thing to remember is that even though we're not yet perfect we're still OK. Just because we haven't yet arrived doesn't mean that we're not on our way.

It's true that most of us still have a long way to go. I used to get discouraged about how far I had to go, and it seemed like I was reminded of it every day, even every hour. I carried a constant sense of failure, a feeling that I just was not what I needed to be, that I was not doing good enough, that I should try harder—and yet when I did try harder, I only failed again.

I have now adopted a new attitude: "I'm not where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be; I'm OK, and I'm on my way!" I now know with all my heart that God is not angry with me just because I have not yet arrived. He is pleased that I am pressing on, staying on the path. If you and I will just "keep on keeping on," God will be pleased with our progress.

Keep walking the walk by taking one step at a time. This is an important thing to remember. It is true that we have to keep pressing on, but thank God we don't have to hate and reject ourselves while we are trying to get to our destination.

If I invited you to take a walk, you would think I was crazy if I became angry after the first few steps because we had not yet arrived at our destination. We can understand ordinary things like this, and yet we have a difficult time understanding that God expects it to take some time for us to grow spiritually.

We don't think there is something wrong with one-year old children because they cannot walk perfectly. They fall down frequently, but we pick them up, love them, bandage them if necessary, and keep working with them. Surely our awesome God can do even more for us than we do for our children.

This process is always difficult. Growing and learning is never easy. But the changes make us a better person. We begin to think differently, then we begin to talk differently, and finally we begin to act differently. This is a process that develops in stages, and we must always remember that while it is taking place we can have the attitude, "I'm OK, and I'm on my way!"

Enjoy yourself while you are changing. Enjoy where you are on the way to where you are going. Enjoy the journey! Don't waste all of your "now time" trying to rush into the future. Remember, tomorrow will have troubles of its own (Matthew 6:34).

Today you may be wrestling with a bad temper and thinking if you could just get freedom in that area, everything would be all right. The thing is, you may have forgotten that God will then reveal something else that needs to be dealt with, and you will be back in the same frame of mind again, thinking, "If only I didn't have this problem, I could be happy." We must learn to look at these things in a new way.

We can be free to believe that we are indeed OK and on our way—not perfected yet, but pressing on. We can be free to enjoy life, enjoy God, and enjoy ourselves.

 

[caleb2514]

How many times have you heard the expression, "Nobody's perfect"? We use and hear this expression almost every day. But it's true—I'm not perfect, you're not perfect, nobody's perfect. Hopefully though, we are all getting better, on our way to perfection. The important thing to remember is that even though we're not yet perfect we're still OK. Just because we haven't yet arrived doesn't mean that we're not on our way.

It's true that most of us still have a long way to go. I used to get discouraged about how far I had to go, and it seemed like I was reminded of it every day, even every hour. I carried a constant sense of failure, a feeling that I just was not what I needed to be, that I was not doing good enough, that I should try harder—and yet when I did try harder, I only failed again.

I have now adopted a new attitude: "I'm not where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be; I'm OK, and I'm on my way!" I now know with all my heart that God is not angry with me just because I have not yet arrived. He is pleased that I am pressing on, staying on the path. If you and I will just "keep on keeping on," God will be pleased with our progress.

Keep walking the walk by taking one step at a time. This is an important thing to remember. It is true that we have to keep pressing on, but thank God we don't have to hate and reject ourselves while we are trying to get to our destination.

If I invited you to take a walk, you would think I was crazy if I became angry after the first few steps because we had not yet arrived at our destination. We can understand ordinary things like this, and yet we have a difficult time understanding that God expects it to take some time for us to grow spiritually.

We don't think there is something wrong with one-year old children because they cannot walk perfectly. They fall down frequently, but we pick them up, love them, bandage them if necessary, and keep working with them. Surely our awesome God can do even more for us than we do for our children.

This process is always difficult. Growing and learning is never easy. But the changes make us a better person. We begin to think differently, then we begin to talk differently, and finally we begin to act differently. This is a process that develops in stages, and we must always remember that while it is taking place we can have the attitude, "I'm OK, and I'm on my way!"

Enjoy yourself while you are changing. Enjoy where you are on the way to where you are going. Enjoy the journey! Don't waste all of your "now time" trying to rush into the future. Remember, tomorrow will have troubles of its own (Matthew 6:34).

Today you may be wrestling with a bad temper and thinking if you could just get freedom in that area, everything would be all right. The thing is, you may have forgotten that God will then reveal something else that needs to be dealt with, and you will be back in the same frame of mind again, thinking, "If only I didn't have this problem, I could be happy." We must learn to look at these things in a new way.

We can be free to believe that we are indeed OK and on our way—not perfected yet, but pressing on. We can be free to enjoy life, enjoy God, and enjoy ourselves.

That was very good advice. Funny, some of the things you said came out when I was deep in prayer/thought last night.

I appreciate you feedback. Have a great day.