Fear of rejection

[gumby123]

Hey all,

I wanted to talk about something that I'm nervous to type out but I need to get it off my chest to people who will listen and not judge me, but help me out. I felt that this is the right place for it.

Well, for many years now I've struggled with a problem. I don't know how to put this lightly, and I hope my post don't get deleted... I've been struggling with tearing off my own skin and eating it. I do it mostly to my fingers and lips, leaving them very sore. It's not a biting problem, because I literally use my fingers to rip it off. It gives me a sense of relief for some reason... (??)

Does anyone else do this? Am I a cannibal? This scares me because I don't know anyone else who does this, though I used to know a girl who used to pull out her hair and eat it.

Sometimes I even use fingernail clippers to clip off skin just to chew on it / eat it. I can't believe I actually told you all this, but I really needed to get it off my chest and I'd love more than anything for prayers from you all on this situation. It's becoming a habit, a very painful one too.

Please help. Thanks.

 

[Onlythingavailable]

Hey,

It took some courage to tell us that! Everyone has their problems so don't be ashamed. Just as every problem, this too needs to be dealt with maturely and responsibly.

I'm guessing this is just a coping mechanism/habit that you have developed for some reason. Do you do this unconsciously too? I used to scratch my thumbnails both unconsciously and consciously, to such a degree that that my nails almost had holes in them. It looked awful and people were always asking "what happened to your nails" and so on. One day I just decided to stop, and with God's help I was able to stop. Now this was a long time ago, so I don't remember exactly how it happened, but I do remember just doing something else when I caught myself scratching or having the need to scratch. The urge didn't go away over night, but after a while it did. I have no illusion that it was my own willpower, though, and I believe God helped me out, all glory to Him!

I'd recommend praying to God, asking for His help and for strength to quit this habit. I'd also suggest making a list of reasons of why you want to quit. Then try replacing eating your skin with something healthy. You said eating gives you some form of pleasure, so this won't be easy, nor will it happen over night, but if you keep fighting it, and if you in your mind decide to stop doing it, by God's grace will you will be able to quit. Prayer is important, especially when you feel the urge.

If you can't seem to shake the eating and biting after a while, it might suggest that you have some deeper issues behind it, which means you should probably talk to someone more experienced and knowledgeable, like a pastor or counselor.

Let us know how things work out!

 

[gumby123]

hey there,
thanks for replying.

yes i notice i do it unconciously too. i wake up with sores on my lips and fingers. of course i don't use my nail clippers at night when i'm sleeping, but i've woke up before to having my hand at my lips, picking them.

btw i appreciate you understanding it and not judging me for it. i know it's an embarassing thing to admit to but i know it is a problem and i needed some advice about it.

thanks for the advice about prayer. i will try it. it never hurts to pray. i have never thought about praying about it because i never thought it would get so bad. but it did.

i really appreciate everything. thanks so much.

 

[Onlythingavailable]

Then it sounds like it's "just" a habit, a resilient one, but a habit. With God's help you'll be able to get rid of it. Please keep us updated on how things go, and PM me anytime if you want to talk.

 

[Anti Existance]

Chewing gum please!, always bring a pack with you.

My friend used to bite of his nails, the trick he used was that there seems to be a really disgusting product on the market exactly against nail biting, you put that stuff on your nails, and the moment you start eating from them you get this disgusting taste in your mouth and are repelled from doing it.

But your problem is that you shouldn't care the hell what other people think. Be your own judge,jury and executor of your life , there are 6 billion people in this world who all want something different from you, you cannot possibly satisfy them all, so why waste your time on what other people think of you? You only have to walk into line into accordance with Gods will, don't care about the rest, my best inspiration was from playing a computergame called samurai showdown:

A Samurai doesn't fear death, and lives for one purpose
TO DESTROY ALL OBSTACLES!

yeah i loved that game =) and it works in real life too, nice confidence boost =O

 

[lavenderskies]

I would also suggest seeing a physician to make sure there are no long term effects of this habit and to make sure its not connected to some type of vitamin or mineral deficiency.
I had a doctor tell me once about a pregnant lady craving crayons to eat, and it was due to some sort of deficiency.

 

[gumby123]

I would also suggest seeing a physician to make sure there are no long term effects of this habit and to make sure its not connected to some type of vitamin or mineral deficiency.
I had a doctor tell me once about a pregnant lady craving crayons to eat, and it was due to some sort of deficiency.

I'm not sure if I'm doing this reply thing correctly but here it goes lol I think that's interesting how she craved crayons, strange but interesting. I just may be lacking something. I'll make an appointment with the doc just to make sure.

Well today I only picked at my fingers a few times, and I didn't chew/eat it. That pack of gum thing that someone mentioned is a great idea. I have tons of gum. I need to start chewing on that

 

[Onlythingavailable]

I'm not sure if I'm doing this reply thing correctly but here it goes lol I think that's interesting how she craved crayons, strange but interesting. I just may be lacking something. I'll make an appointment with the doc just to make sure.

Well today I only picked at my fingers a few times, and I didn't chew/eat it. That pack of gum thing that someone mentioned is a great idea. I have tons of gum. I need to start chewing on that

That's great! God is so good! Keep at it!

 

[Criada]

Gum s good.
Another thing that can help with habit breaking is to put an elastic band around your wrist and twang it whenever you have the urge to do whatever you are trying to stop.
I work with mentally ill teenagers, a lot of whom have compulsive habits of one kind or another, and this seems to be effective in a lot of cases...
(Not saying you are mentally ill, simply that this sounds like a similar compulsion..)

Praying for you.

 

[gumby123]

Gum s good.
Another thing that can help with habit breaking is to put an elastic band around your wrist and twang it whenever you have the urge to do whatever you are trying to stop.
I work with mentally ill teenagers, a lot of whom have compulsive habits of one kind or another, and this seems to be effective in a lot of cases...
(Not saying you are mentally ill, simply that this sounds like a similar compulsion..)

Praying for you.

thanks! i wear a ponytail holder around my wrist at all times anyway because i have shoulder length hair and sometimes pull it back in a ponytail.

i can understand how it would help teenagers. i'm glad it's effective for them! i will think of this everytime i need to pick at something, i'll pick at my ponytail holder.

lol i actually have schizoaffective disorder. but no offense taken! i'm glad you pointed this out to me. i didn't know it helped mentally ill teenagers but yes that's a good idea and i'll keep it in mind.

today i picked my lip one time and chewed on it, but spat it out. i didn't swallow it like usual. after talking with you people here on the forum i've taken all your advice and i'm doing better about picking at my lips and fingers. thanks to you all! without you all and your prayers i would still have sore, bleeding lips and fingers.

i appreciate what everyone's said in here. i really do. every little bit of information or advice always helps.

thanks again!